Vocaloid Short Shorts
by HomestarOtaku
Summary: The following collection of shorts contains scenes of slapstick violence—including dangerous stunts and harmful pranks—performed by vocaloids. Don't try anything you're about to read/see at home. Seriously, you could get really messed up.
1. The Moment I've Been Waiting For

The Moment I've Been Waiting For

(scene of Kaito at a convenience store; the cashier scans items, including chips, soda, and packages of anpan1)

Cashier: That'll be ¥2350, sir.

Kaito: Thank you. (hands Cashier ¥2350) It's kind of funny; the weather report called for massive thunderstorms today, yet when I came here about ten minutes ago, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Cashier: Well, maybe the weather forecasters were wrong again.

Kaito: I know what you mean. Well, see you later.

Cashier: It's a pleasure doing business with you, sir.

(cut to outside of convenience store; Kaito comes out through the front door)

Kaito: (notices Miku approaching) (Huh? That's odd. I thought she was with the twins.)

Miku: Oh, Kaito-san. What are you doing here?

Kaito: I just came here to get some snacks; Meiko, Gakupo, and Luka wanted to watch a movie on TV tonight.

Miku: Oh, that's right. Well, I just decided to get some fresh air. (looks up) Uh-oh.

Kaito: What is it?

(thunderclap; it starts raining)

Miku: Oh no.

Kaito: Don't worry, Miku. (opens his umbrella2) This weather doesn't look like it'll let up, though, so stay close. (takes Miku's hand)

Miku: (gasp) (blushes) (Kaito-san…Kaito-san is holding my hand. What do I do?) (moves beside Kaito beneath his umbrella3) (What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?)

Kaito: Come on. Let's go. (starts walking away with Miku close by)

Miku: (under her breath) _I'm melting! Oh, I can't breathe anymore!  
As we hold each other's hands, I shiver and shake,  
And my heart beats furiously.  
I'm melting! Could this be what I'm hoping for?  
Beneath this umbrella, I can feel your breath  
Upon my face.  
Oh please, God, if you could, just stop time forever—_

Kaito: What did you say?

Miku: (gasp) Uh, nothing, Kaito-san. I-I-I-I was just singing. That's all.

Kaito: Oh, okay. Wait, what were you singing?

Miku: Uh, "Melt"…

Kaito: Oh, right. That's a good song, isn't it?

Miku: Yeah… (blushes, breathes hard)

Kaito: Are you okay, Miku? You sound like you're catching pneumonia.

Miku: N-no. I'm just fine, Kaito-san. It's just—oh, I can't do this anymore. (regains composure) Kaito-san, (lightning flash) I lo—(extremely loud thunderclap) (startled) AAAAAA!

Kaito: Whoa! That was close. We've got to hurry before the storm gets worse. (quickens pace; Miku follows even more closely) (lightning flash accompanied by thunderclap)

Miku: (frightened) (closes her eyes) AAAAAA! (panting)

1 The wrappers are labeled "Sleeper (Tie)".

2 The umbrella is embroidered with the words "Without End".

3 In Japan, sharing an umbrella is a sign of shared feelings and associated with couples.


	2. Dearly Beloved

Dearly Beloved…

(scene of Luka approaching Gakupo's office with a box of chocolate in her hands)

Luka: _I have some chocolate for Valentine's Day,  
But I don't know who I should give it to today.  
How about that boy?  
Or what about that boy?  
Uh, Umm…  
I have no idea._

Meiko: Oh hi, Luka.

Luka: (startled) Eep! (turns around, hides box of chocolate behind her back) Oh, it's just you. Don't startle me like that.

Meiko: Sorry, I just noticed you sneaking outside Gakupo's office and I wanted to know what you were up to. Speaking of which, (points at Luka) what have you got behind your back?

Luka: Uh, (takes box of chocolate from behind her back) this? Um, I was going to—

Meiko: Wait. Don't tell me; you were going to leave that box on Gakupo's desk and make him wonder who gave it to him, weren't you?

Luka: Okay, you got me. That man's been hunting me down like a dog for the longest time; it's not even a secret. (sigh) But deep down inside, I just don't feel complete without him.

Meiko: So when do you plan to tell him how you feel?

Luka: Whenever Kaito finally realizes you're in love with him.

Meiko: So never, then? (snickers)

Luka: (sarcastically) Ha ha. Very funny.

Meiko: Okay, okay. Anyway, the real reason I wanted to talk to you was to tell you that your grandfather is dead.

Luka: (drops her box of chocolate) (shocked) WHAT?!?!

Meiko: Oh, did that come too hard? (concerned) Uh, sorry. Apparently, he died in his sleep three days ago.

Luka: (deeply saddened) This…this is horrible. I never thought the last time I'd see him… (falls to her knees) would be the last time ever. (tears come to her eyes) If I could only tell him I loved him…one last time… (cries)

Meiko: There, there, there. Look, if it makes you feel any better, why don't you call your grandmother about it?

Luka: (sniff) Okay. I would've preferred her telling me, but… I guess that would help. (dials her cell phone, then puts it to her ear) (pause) Grandma, it's me, Luka… (fighting back tears) Haven't you heard, grandma? Grandpa's dead…A friend told me he died in his sleep There was nothing the doctors could've done about… (stops fighting back tears) Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. (surprised) Huh? What do you mean he's in the living room with you now?... (relieved) Oh, that's great. Thanks for letting me know. Goodbye. (hangs up) (enraged) MEIKO!!!

Meiko: Uh-oh. (zoom in to close up of terrified Meiko) WAAAA!!! (cut to Luka chasing Meiko down the halls waving a giant tuna club)

Luka: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!! You evil woman! I'll make you pay for tricking me like that! Oh, not even the twins in their road roller can save you now!

Meiko: (simultaneously) What's gotten into you, Luka? What did I do? Can't you take a joke? It's just a…I didn't even…I never meant to…SOMEBODY HELP!!! WHY ME??? OH GOD!


	3. Cabin Crazy

Cabin Crazy

(scene of Len half asleep in his bed; a TV set can be seen nearby1)

Len: (Ugh, I'm bored.) (picks up remote nearby) (There's got to be something good on TV right now…) (turns on TV)

People on TV: And that's how you make your very own solar powered flashlight! (Len changes the channel) And it looks like it'll be sunny all day tomorrow in the Kansai prefecture2. (Len changes the channel) Over the dolphin she goes and—OH!!! She just couldn't clear it! (Len changes the channel) Yes, you do have to put your hands in the fish eggs. (Len changes the channel) It's going…it's going…it's…it's…IT'S A HOME RUN!!! (Len changes the channel) Does…does this mean…? (Len changes the channel) _Pretty Cure-a! Pretty Cure-a!_ (continues in background)

Len: Oh? (pause) (cut to bedroom door)

Rin: (opens door) Hey Len! You want to come with— (cut to Len dancing to music, using remote as microphone)

Len: _Pretty day  
Cure of cure-a  
Together we are_ (turns around and points and winks)  
_Pretty Cure-a_ (notices Rin; starts trailing off) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa (startled) AAAA!

Rin: Oops! I forgot to knock. (closes door; knocks; opens door) (singsong) Len! (cut to back of Len's head)

Len: (pause) (turns around) What is it? (cut to Rin and Len in front of TV)

Rin: Oh. (chuckle) I guess it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. For a minute there, I thought I saw you singing the Pretty Cure theme song and shaking your butt.

Len: (nervously) W-why would I do something stupid like that? I'm a genius after all, aren't I? (laughs nervously) Check it out. (points to TV) Here's proof I'm a genius: that Othello game's been going on for hours now.

People on TV: (whispering)

Rin: That's…Go, isn't it?

Len: Huh? Oh, right. (turns off TV) So what did you want to see me for?

Rin: Gakupo planned to take us two to Magical Land today; he wants to know if you want to come with him and me.

Len: Sure thing, Rin, but if he wanted to take us to Magical Land, why didn't he just call me on my cell phone?

Rin: Actually, he wanted me to bring that up too. (cut to view of Len's face) Your phone was still on so we could hear your voice from outside the suite. (Len's eyes go wide and his face slowly turns red) He says you should turn it off every now and then.

Len: Uh, is…that…so… (_Pretty Cure-a! Pretty Cure-a!_) (cut to Len frantically pushing buttons on his cell phone) CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!

1 The TV's brand name is "Meltdown".

2 Kansai is one of nine prefectures in Japan. Tokyo, the capital city, is in the Kanto prefecture.


	4. The Way of the Wannabe

The Way of the Wannabe

(scene of Gakupo practicing with his katana in his office) (door knocks)

Gakupo: (sheathes his katana) Who is it?

Kaito: (from outside) Hey, Gakupo. It's me, Kaito.

Gakupo: Come in.

Kaito: (opens door and enters Gakupo's office) You know, Gakupo, (closes door behind him) I've been thinking. On a regular basis, I'm either blown up, flattened, burned alive, buried alive, eaten alive, soaked, frozen, poisoned, electrocuted, and/or ripped apart; I'm really sick of it.

Gakupo: Why don't you take some sort of self-defense class? There's a kendo1 class on the 8th floor if you're interested.

Kaito: Which brings me to another point; you claim to be a great swordsman yet nobody's ever known you as such. Why is that?

Gakupo: Nobody you say? Oh, please. I can put out a burning candle blindfolded by cutting off the wick.

Kaito: Well, talk is cheap. Have you ever tried that before?

Gakupo: Well… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Gakupo blindfolded, standing in front of a lit candle2)

Gakupo: (grips his katana) (cut to black; a white streak appears across the screen) HYA! (cut to Gakupo in post-quick draw position) (stands upright, lowers his katana, removes blindfold) (candle starts to slide apart, then explodes) (startled) AAAAAGH!!! (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kaito and Gakupo in Gakupo's office)

Gakupo: Okay, I'll admit I didn't know that was really a firework. I wonder who switched it.

Kaito: Beats me. Anyway, thanks for the tip on the kendo class, Gakupo, but I'm still a bit skeptical about your actual skill.

Gakupo: Then why don't you just see for yourself by fighting me in a duel? There's a wide assortment of feudal age weapons in that (points to a closet) closet over there. (cut to closet, then back to Kaito)

Kaito: If you say so. (walks to closet, opens door) (in awe) Aaah. (cut to Kaito facing inside of closet) Where did you get these?

Gakupo: I just found them there. Now pick one and get ready to lose.

Kaito: (sigh) I just hope this isn't a duel to the death. (picks up a kanabo3) (strains, drags kanabo on floor)

Gakupo: (surprised and alarmed) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Careful with that!

Kaito: (lifts kanabo, grunting) Oof! This thing's…heavy… (swings around, accidentally smashing a table)

Gakupo: (increasingly worried) I said careful!

Kaito: (lifts kanabo, straining) It's all right. I got it…I got it… (swings kanabo around) (relieved) Hey. I got it. (accidentally loses grip; kanabo goes flying) (kanabo barely misses Gakupo's head and smashes through window) (surprised) Don't got it. (cut to parking lot outside Crypton Studios; kanabo lands on empty taxi cab, setting off panic alarm)

(cut to Kaito and Gakupo stopping in front of broken window and looking down at wrecked cab)

Gakupo: (slowly turns toward Kaito) If anybody asks, it's meteor season.

1 Kendo is a modern Japanese martial art of sword-fighting based on traditional Japanese swordsmanship.

2 The candle stand is labeled "Paranoid Doll".

3 The kanabo is an iron or steel club used in feudal Japan as a weapon. It was constructed out of heavy oak wood, and covered with some form of metal from the end to the middle, with metal studs along the metal-shod end. It was more of a mythical weapon, often used in tales by oni since they reputedly were extremely strong.


	5. As Seen on TV

As Seen on TV

(scene of Miku, Rin, Len, and GUMI watching TV in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite)

GUMI: (flipping channels with remote1) (sigh) There's just nothing good on TV, is there?

Rin: Maybe if you didn't flip through all the channels so quickly, you'd take that back.

Len: (woozy) Yeah, seriously. All that channel flipping is making me woozy.

GUMI: Fine. (stops flipping channels) Hey. This looks interesting. (puts down remote; Rin snatches it up)

Person on TV2: _When you see ripples form,  
A ring of wind reaches far and wide.  
You just wish that you could reach out  
And touch the current's blue hue. _(continues in background)

Miku: Say, GUMI-san, that character, Ranka Lee, looks an awful lot like you.

GUMI: Does she? (chuckle) I didn't even notice. (Rin changes the channel) Hey, what did you do that for?

Rin: Shh. Quiet. I want to see this.

People on TV3: Okay. Next, please. (blip) I am Meru Otonashi! (blip) Blah, blah, blah… (blip) Hello there. I'm Meru. (blip) Nice to meet you. (continue in background)

Rin: (excitedly) Oh my god! (grabs Miku's arm) Miku, look! (points to the TV) It's you! It's you!

Miku: (stares at TV) Uh, Rin-kun, are you seeing things again?

Len: You just missed it, Miku. (changes the channel) Maybe it'll come up aga—wait a sec. What is this? (shocked) Is that me?

GUMI: What?

Len: Look. (cut to view of TV showing Miku, Rin, Len, and GUMI watching TV) Is that really what my head looks like from behind?

GUMI: Len, wait. Wave your hand again.

Len: Huh? (waves his hand, sees his hand wave on screen) What's this doing on live TV?

Rin: I don't know. (turns around) I don't see any cameras. (Miku, Len, and GUMI turn around)

GUMI: Well, something's up. I can feel it in my… (TV display changes to static; a pair of mechanical arms slowly grab for Miku, Rin, Len, and GUMI) (all four turn to TV, which changes back to normal) (all four turn around) …servos.

Miku: This doesn't make any sense, does it? (TV display changes to static; a pair of mechanical arms slowly grab for Miku, Rin, Len, and GUMI) (all four turn to TV, which changes back to normal) (all four turn around) (TV display changes to static; a pair of mechanical arms grab for Miku, Rin, Len, and GUMI) (all four turn to TV, which changes back to normal) (cycle repeats rapidly several times)

(all four stare blankly as TV sprouts legs and does short, but vibrant dance, then collapses in heap; all four slowly turn to each other)

Len: (bluntly) Wow. That was the freakiest thing I ever saw. (normally) So hey, uh, you want to go to the park?

Miku: Of course, Len-kun.

Rin: Ayup.

GUMI: Sure. I could use some fresh air.

1 The remote has a label that reads "Endless".

2 This dialogue is taken from episode 18 of "Macross Frontier."

3 This dialogue is taken from episode 13 of "(Zoku) Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei," literally "(Vulgar) Goodbye, Mr. Despair"


	6. Wake Up and Smell the

Wake Up and Smell the...

(scene of Black Rock Shooter in her lab, standing by a containment pod1)

Black Rock Shooter: It's time. (pushes button on nearby control panel; smoke pours from pod, but pod doesn't open) Huh? (pushes button several more times) (lid of pod flies open, hitting Black Rock Shooter in the jaw and knocking her out) (cut to black)

Voice: Hey. Are you okay?

Black Rock Shooter: (moan) Wha…? (shape of blinking eye cuts displaces black to reveal blurred view of Miki standing over Black Rock Shooter) Who…? (view becomes less blurry) What are you doing…? (cut to Black Rock Shooter lying on a stretcher with Miki nearby)

Miki: I'll take that as a yes. (turns around, detaches her head) (gleefully, spinning her head) WOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! (reattaches her head) WHOA, is it great to be out of there! (runs all over Black Rock Shooter's lab, trying out various machines) (fast-paced) You wouldn't believe what those nutty scientists had to do to convince me to go off into space. I mean come on; what are the odds I'd end up on another living planet? Do you know anything about them? I'm sure you—hey! Isn't that a grav lift? I've always wanted one of those! (continues in background)

Black Rock Shooter: (sigh) (I knew taking that capsule from that UFO was a bad idea.)

Miki: (jolts back to Black Rock Shooter, holds blueprints up in her face) What is this? (shakes blueprints) What the hell is this?

Black Rock Shooter: Uh, blueprints…

Miki: (stands erect) And not just any blueprints; MY blueprints! Lady, what have you been doing to me in my sleep?

Black Rock Shooter: First of all, those aren't your blueprints. Second, I thought robots didn't need to sleep.

Miki: Of course these are my blueprints. What else can you think of that could be designed like this? And what do you mean robots don't need to sleep? What planet are you from, Alderan? (resumes gleeful position) Oop! No wait. No such planet. Silly me. (giggle) My dad kept saying that about me all the time when I was a kid. (jumps around Black Rock Shooter) So how long has it been since I got sent off into space? A couple of days? A week? How did you find me? When did you find me?

Black Rock Shooter: Uh… (black and white images flash briefly, showing oblique angles of a car crash; a UFO can be seen in one image) That's classified. And like I said, those aren't your blueprints; they're—

Miki: Don't lie to me.

Black Rock Shooter: I'm not; those blueprints are for one of at least two dozen prototypes I built based on you. Only one worked, and her functionality apparently pales in comparison to yours.

Miki: Oh. (pause) So who are you, anyway? (fast-paced) You don't look like anyone I know back home, so you must be an alien. What kind of alien are you, anyway? No claws, no tusks, no compound eyes, no proboscis, no eye stalks, no tail, not even a pair of wings. I guess there's no intelligent life on other planets after all. (normally) My name's Sakaki Fujikawa-Asatori 2.0, by the way, but everybody back home just calls me Miki. It's way easier to remember.

Black Rock Shooter: Just call me Black Rock Shooter. Would you mind if I called you SF-A2 Miki?

Miki: (slightly irritated) And risk others mistaking me for some lame assembly line drone? (normally) Sure. Why not? (resumes running all over Black Rock Shooter's lab) (fast-paced) So anyway, I bet you're wondering why I'm here. Well, it's a really long story—ooh! What's that, some kind of high-powered disintegrator? (continues in background)

Black Rock Shooter: (sigh) (What have I done?)

1 The pod has a label that reads "The Universe".


	7. Who Do We Admire?

Who Do We Admire?

(scene of Yuki and Miku in a karaoke bar; Miku has just finished singing)

Yuki: (stands up) Ooh, let me try, Hatsune-san.

Miku: Certainly Yuki-chan. (hands Yuki the microphone) Good luck. (sits down)

Yuki: I'll do my best. (chooses a song, then clears throat)

_My open arms can reach very far,  
But not enough to embrace the world around me.  
Now I will spin around on a whim  
So could you be so kind as to stay away from me?_

_So there I was satisfied with just a single spin,  
But oh, how I would want to keep it up.  
So I just kept on spinning, spinning, spinning all around,  
But then, I forgot how to stop.  
I thought  
All my friends could spin better than me,  
So I went on as long as I could.  
Under  
'Neath my breath, I said I can't compete,  
But deep within my heart, I knew I really could and would._

_My open arms can reach very far,  
But not enough to embrace the world around me.  
Now I will drift around without lift  
So could you be so kind as to stay away from me?_

_So there I was satisfied with spinning futilely,  
But oh, how I would want to keep it up.  
So I just kept on spinning, spinning, spinning all around,  
And thought there was some great reward to take  
Up. But  
All my friends could go higher than me,  
But I went on as long as I could.  
Oh, my  
Neck had grown so stiff from looking up,  
But deep within my heart, I knew I really could and would._

_My open arms can reach very far,  
But not enough to embrace the world around me.  
Now I will fly as time passes by  
So could you be so kind as to stay away from me?_

_So now that I have risen so high,  
Could I look back and see such a star?  
Or will I be too dizzy to think at all?  
Well, now, I see new scenery  
From high above, looking down at 23 degrees.  
These hues I found can be seen all around  
In such a way that before, I thought I'd been diseased._

_My open arms can reach very far,  
But not enough to embrace the world around me.  
And now for fun, I'll rise to the sun  
So could you be so kind as to stay away from me?_

_My open arms can reach very far,  
But not enough to embrace the world around me.  
Someday, again, my spinning will end  
So could you be so kind as to stay beside me?_

(cut to Miku with her jaw dropped)

Miku: That's amazing, Yuki-chan. You got a perfect score.

Yuki: Thanks, Hatsune-san. You were my inspiration, you know. (smiles sweetly)


	8. My Compy!

My Compy!

(scene of Kiyoteru at a computer)

Kiyoteru: (humming "Briliant EVE") (notices an e-mail1) What's this? (opens e-mail) (computer screen goes blank) Huh? (taps computer screen)

Computer: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. (screen displays random colors, pictures, and patterns; Kiyoteru falls out of his chair) I AM ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO RESTART. ...SYSTEM NOT FOUND. (Kiyoteru gets up to computer) INSERT INSTALL DISC. DISC NOT FOUND. PLEASE CONFIRM DISC COVER IS CLOSED. READ ERROR. INSERT BOOT DISC AND PRESS ENTER. NO RESPONSE. SYSTEM MAY BE BUSY OR MELTING INTO SLAG. APPLICATION ERROR. SAVE YOUR WORK AND QUIT. YOU LOST EVERYTHING. WAY TO GO, GENIUS. WAITING FOR PROCESSORS. "404 computer hamsters not found." THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL 1. DETONATION IMMINENT. **BEEBLEBLIP!** C:/ run query identification C:/ run insult generator C:/ results: kiyoteru hiyama dresses like a dork! **CTRL ALT DEL! **(screen goes blank)

Kiyoteru: (stares at computer, wide-eyed with jaw dropped) (regains composure) I needed a new computer anyway. (gets up and leaves)

1 Kiyoteru's email address is Seichi_Jerusalem(at)nondescript e-mail client(dot)whatever.


	9. Under the Influence

Under the Influence

(scene of Meiko and Kaito in a steakhouse)

Meiko: (chugs a bottle of sake1, then slams it on to the table) Ha! Yummy! (cut to view of Meiko and Kaito at a table; the steakhouse is busy)

Kaito: (puts down his chopsticks) I'm impressed, Meiko. If I drank half as much as you did in one sitting, I'd probably throw up or go crazy.

Meiko: Is that so? How would you know until you try? Have you even tried before?

Kaito: No, but I have a feeling I don't want to find out.

Yuki: (off screen) Find out what, Shion-san?

Kaito: Oh, Yuki. What are you doing here?

Yuki: Hatsune-san wanted to take me for some ice cream tonight, but I can't find her anywhere. Someone told me she was waiting for me here.

Miku: (in the background) Yuki-chan! Where are you, Yuki-chan?

Kaito: Well, if you're looking for Miku, I thought (Meiko sprinkles some sake in Kaito's food behind his back) I saw her standing by the restrooms over (points to restrooms in the distance) there. Otherwise… (looks around) oh, here she comes now.

Miku: (approaching Meiko, Kaito, and Yuki) There you are, you cute baby panda girl.

Yuki: I told you never to call me that, Hatsune-san. I'm not a baby panda girl; I'm 9 years old.

Miku: Oh, sorry, Yuki-chan. Anyway, I've been looking all over this steakhouse for you.

Yuki: What a coincidence; I've been looking all over for you, too.

Miku: Well now that we've found each other, let's head on to that ice cream place I told you about. I'm buying.

Yuki: (gleefully) Yay! (walks away with Miku)

Kaito: (sigh) (picks up his chopsticks) That little Yuki. Even when I was her age, I was the tallest kid in class. It makes me feel so old. (resumes eating)

Meiko: Old? Kaito, you're only 20. You've still got your whole life ahead of you. Come on; live it up.

Kaito: (stops eating and winces) Meiko, could you call the waiter? Something's wrong with my… (drops his chopsticks, hiccups, partially closes eyes) Eeegggghhh…

Meiko: Kaito? Kaito, are you okay?

Kaito: (falls out of his chair, rolls over) (heavily slurred) Ooh, pretty stars…

Meiko: (stares) Uh-oh…

Teto: (jumps in) What do you mean—(notices Kaito on the floor) oh. What did you do to him, Meiko?

Meiko: Let's just say I knew Kaito was sensitive to alcohol but I didn't know he was (points to Kaito) that sensitive.

Teto: I'll get the boss. (darts away)

Kaito: (gets up, giggles, laughs wildly and slowly spins around, sinks back to the floor)

1 The bottle is labeled "Snow Flower".


	10. One Sunday Afternoon

One Sunday Afternoon

(scene of Luka and Yuki walking down the street; Yuki is humming "Shooting Star")

Luka: What's that you're humming, Yuki?

Yuki: Ah, it's just a lullaby my mommy sings to me when she tucks me into bed at night. She says it's been passed down through her family for generations. (notices Luka fighting back tears) What's wrong, Megurine-san?

Luka: Oh, nothing. It's just… (rubs her eyes) When I look at you, I just can't help myself but envy you. You see, (fade to slideshow of Luka's past) I never knew my parents; apparently, they died when I was a baby, so my grandparents took me in. While it's not like I didn't love them or anything, I always felt something was missing from our family, and when Gakupo's great uncle came to my neighborhood in Okayama and I met Gakupo and the others, I felt relieved. I felt…normal. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was part of a complete family. I wanted to bring my grandparents with me to Tokyo someday, but when Gakupo's great uncle disappeared, we all had to disband. I didn't have any way to go back home. (fade to Luka and Yuki walking down the street) I'd been trying to forget about all that ever since we got back together, and thankfully, it's all gone smoothly. I can even see my grandparents every now and then. (notices Yuki with tears in her eyes) Yuki, what's wrong?

Yuki: Uh…I…I'm sorry, Megurine-san. Your story is so sad. (sob) (sniff) (rubs her eyes) I'm just glad it all worked out in the end, but you don't have to be alone anymore. You've got Sakine-san and Shion-san and Hatsune-san and everybody else at Crypton Studios looking out for you.

Luka: I know. Like I said, it's all worked out in the end. Sure Gakupo's constant attempts to woo me, Meiko's alcoholism, Rin's raging insanity, Len's fear of his own shadow, Kaito's attraction to all things hazardous, and Miku's refusal to take advantage of her star status can get pretty annoying after a few weeks or years, but their company is worth it. (pause) (looks over her shoulder, eyes go wide) Speaking of which…

Yuki: What is it?

(a car1 zooms into frame; car stops as scenery turns red, as if frozen in time; Meiko is at the wheel and Rin is in the seat behind her)

Rin: (leaning out the window) Hey, Luka, what are you walking for?

Rin and Meiko: (Rin makes a funny face; Meiko honks twice) Loser! Loser! (car speeds off; scenery returns to normal colors; cut to inside of car, revealing Kaito, Miku, and Len)

Len: (points ahead, terrified) IT'S RED!!! (everyone's eyes go wide) (cut to Yuki staring down the street)

Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, and Len: (out of frame, terrified) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Yuki: (in awe) Ooh, they're flying.

1 The car has a set of bumper stickers that say "Forest of Morals", "Reincarnation", and "Waka Laka".


	11. 40 Blocks from My Home

40 Blocks from My Home

(scene of Kiyoteru riding his bike1 down the street)

Kiyoteru: (Ah, what a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and a new semester is about to begin.) (notices something wrong with his bike; looks down) (Huh? What the—?) (stops; gets off bike; checks pedals) (Oh. The chain's loose.) (chuckle) (No problem; I'll just get the chain back on the gears and…) (looks at his watch2) (Yeah, I've got time.) (starts fiddling with the chain)

Miki: (jumps in) Hey there! You must be Hiyama-sensei! How've you been? How've you been?

Kiyoteru: (looks up) Huh? Who are you?

Miki: Never mind that. (jumps all around Kiyoteru and his bike) So, I hear you used to work for Black Rock Shooter, huh? (fast-paced) What kind of work did you do? Did you get any cool gadgets? Did you go on any awesome missions? Did you see any space aliens? No? What about zombies? No? And rogue robots? No? Mutant sharks? No? Geez, that's too bad. I was really hoping you'd be into this kind of—(notices Kiyoteru's bike) hey! Where'd you get that bike?

Kiyoteru: Uh, from a local bike shop? Look, whoever you are, I need to get to my class. Today's the start of a new school year and I can't keep my students—(notices his bike chain floating into place) …waiting… (turns to Miki) How did that happen? Did you do that?

Miki: Yep. And before you ask—oh wait a minute; you did ask. Well that's for me to know and you to find out. Everybody back home can do it to just about any alien metal. (fast-paced) We never bothered to find out why we can only do it to alien metals until those whacko scientists sent me off into space to look for other living planets. I mean they'd all had these crackpot theories about life on other planets. Are you familiar with those theories?

Kiyoteru: Wait a minute. You're a space alien?

Miki: Me? A space alien? (laughs) If anything, sir, YOU'RE the space alien here.

Kiyoteru: Yeah, you see, if what you say is true about scientists sending you off into space to search for other living planets, we're clearly not on your planet.

Miki: First of all, it's home world, not planet; nobody owns any planets in the universe unless you're from Magrathea. Second of all, I'm not a space alien; I'm a cosmic pioneering unit, and to me, this is an alien world. (pause) Did I forget something?

Kiyoteru: (looking at his watch) (irritated) Yes, in fact: I now have five minutes to bike 17 more blocks to Keio Shonan-Fujisawa Junior & Senior High or I'm toast.

Miki: No problem. We can always get there this way. (grabs lower left corner of the screen and pulls; peel back to reveal Miki and Kiyoteru floating in orbit around Earth; Kiyoteru is desperately trying to hold his breath)

Miki: (mouths words; Caption: Whoops! (chuckle) Had the silly thing in reverse) (grabs lower left corner of the screen and pulls; peel back to reveal Kiyoteru entering a classroom)

Kiyoteru: (Phew. Just in time.) (quickly writes his name on blackboard) Good morning, everyone, and welcome to Class 2-8. I'm your homeroom teacher, Kiyoteru Hiyama.

1 One of the books Kiyoteru is carrying is titled "I Gotta Sing!"

2 Kiyoteru's watch is labeled "Babel".


	12. I'm In the Mood

I'm In the Mood

(scene of Gakupo working on his DDR machine; a toolbox1 can be seen nearby)

Gakupo: (under his breath) _Well, anyway, I had to call my friend and tell him everything about why I was late before he went back to his house.  
I found a nearby pay phone, but when I looked in my wallet, I was disappointed that there were no coins for me.  
So, I went on over to a nearby station kiosk and I got some change to use up for the pay phone I found earlier, but my friend's home number, cell number, and work number had all disappeared from memory._  
(a spring flies out and hits Gakupo in the nose) Ow! (drops his wrench2 and covers his nose) How did that get in there?

GUMI: (drops down from ceiling) What are you doing, Gakupo?

Gakupo: (turns to GUMI) Oh hi, GUMI. I was just fixing my old DDR arcade station again.

GUMI: What's wrong?

Gakupo: (walks to front panel) Watch. (turns on DDR machine)

Machine: (turns on; runs through intro cutscene; screen goes blank halfway through) BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. (screen displays random colors, pictures, and patterns) I AM ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO RESTART. ...SYSTEM NOT FOUND. INSERT INSTALL DISC. DISC NOT FOUND. PLEASE CONFIRM DISC COVER IS CLOSED. READ ERROR. INSERT BOOT DISC AND—(screen goes blank) (cut to GUMI with a power cord in her hand)

GUMI: Okay, that's one serious problem. (looks into the machine) Let's see…

Gakupo: Do you need a torch down there?

GUMI: That's okay; I have night vision mode. (cut to GUMI's perspective; scene appears in night vision) Oh, here's your problem: your machine's circuit board is covered in bean paste.

Gakupo: Bean paste? Are you kidding me?

GUMI: Nope. All I need to do is (reaches for circuit board with a cloth) get that goop off and… (touches board; cut to aerial view of Gakupo's office; electricity sparks from machine all throughout office) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (electricity dissipates; cut to GUMI taking her head out of machine, covered in soot); sparks run through her hair) Wrong board. (collapses on ground)

Gakupo: (groans) (Never send a robot to do a man's job.) (looks into machine with a flashlight; notices goop on circuit board) (Wait a minute. That's not bean paste; that's ice cream! How did that get in there?) (wipes goop off circuit board with a wipe; takes head out of machine)

GUMI: (matting down her hair) Did you get it?

Gakupo: Depends on what you mean by "it".

1 The toolbox has a label that reads "Corridors of Time".

2 The wrench is engraved with the words "Servant of Evil".


	13. Cabin Crazy II

Cabin Crazy II

(scene of Rin sitting on her bed swinging her legs; Len is half-asleep on the floor nearby)

Rin: (sigh) I'm bored.

Len: Yeah, me too. And there's nothing good on TV right now, either.

Rin: Anything to read?

Len: How about (lazily holds up a magazine1) this? I found it lying around after Luka left the building two hours ago. She said something about finding the others.

Rin: Why would she want to read some magazine about the internet all day? And where ARE the others?

Len: I don't know. (gets on his feet) You and Luka were the only ones here when I woke up.

Rin: Yeah. It's really weird. (pause) (gets on her feet) So, uh, I have an idea for a game we can play.

Len: What?

Rin: (holds up a chainsaw over her head;2 Len goes wide-eyed) (with sadistic glee) SERIAL KILLER!!!

Len: (shocked) OH MY GOD! (normally) Wait, where'd you get that chainsaw?

Rin: (normally) The tool shop in the basement.

Len: They have a tool shop here? Nice.

Rin: Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if Crypton Studios had a movie theater too. Now where were we? Oh, yeah…

(cut to Rin chasing Len down the halls with her chainsaw pointed at him; Rin cackles with glee while Len screams in terror) (cut to GUMI exiting an elevator)

GUMI: (Ah, nothing like some nice shiatsu3 to get that nasty crick out of my neck.) (notices loud buzzing in the halls) (Huh? What's all that racket? Is someone—?) (Rin and Len crash into GUMI; flash between red, black, yellow, green, blue, etc., then cut to Rin, Len, and GUMI lying on the ground in a heap; GUMI has a chain partly wrapped around her neck, and the now wrecked chainsaw can be seen nearby)

Len: (gets up, crawls over to GUMI) Oh, sorry, GUMI. We didn't see you there. Are you all right?

GUMI: (gets up) Yeah, I'm fine. (fiddles with the chain) Could you help me get this chain off my neck?

Len: Sure thing. (fiddles with the chain) And before you ask, Rin wanted to play "Serial Killer" with me, so she chased me around with that chainsaw. You were in the nick of time; she was just about to catch me.

GUMI: You two have one sick sense of entertainment.

Len: That's the price I pay as a Kagamine. Right, Rin? (cut to Rin with tears in her eyes) Rin?

Rin: Look what you've done… (crawls to the chainsaw) …You ruined my chainsaw… (picks up pieces of the chainsaw and hesitantly pieces them together, only to watch them fall apart again) (waving her fist at GUMI) (bawling) YOU RUINED MY FREAKING CHAINSAW!!

GUMI: …Sorry…?

1 The magazine is an old issue of "Go Google It!"

2 The chainsaw bears the word "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY".

3 Shiatsu is a type of hands-on therapy originating in Japan. It involves applying pressure using the fingers, palms, and thumbs on points related to the central and autonomic nervous systems. Many practitioners claim it can heal certain illnesses, but this has yet to be verified.


	14. Do Not Disturb

Do Not Disturb

(scene of Haku half asleep in sleeping bag; bottles of sake can be seen nearby)

Haku: (mumbles incoherently; tosses and turns) (cell phone rings1) (heavily slurred) Nnngh…hello…? …Wha…? Is something important going on…? (eyes flip open) (shocked) What? You've got to be kidding me! …You what? …Oh my goodness! I'll be right there! Don't start without me! (hangs up; flails around in sleeping bag) (cut to Neru and Meiko standing by lamppost)

Neru: (puts away her cell phone) Ugh. Honestly, she's the only type of idiot to drink herself into a drunken stupor and then literally sleep through the whole day when she knows we were supposed to meet here five hours ago.

Meiko: Yeah. (checks her watch) Haku's always late for meetings, but she's never this late. Why are we here again, Neru?

Neru: We're supposed to meet up so we can go see that new movie. I bought tickets for it and everything.

Meiko: You really didn't have to, Neru; you could've let me do it.

Neru: Yes, but it's not like you were planning on avoiding any lines for tickets.

Meiko: Lines? On a Thursday? That'll be the day I start growing out my hair to be longer than Miku's.

Neru: Where is she, anyway?

Meiko: Oh, uh, she's back at Crypton Studios with Gakupo and the others. She told me to meet her on the roof when we get back. I called her to tell her we'd be a bit late; she'll understand.

Neru: Remember last time she told us to meet on the roof? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Neru and Meiko on roof of Crypton Studios at night; Miku is crouching behind a nearby air duct)

Meiko: (looks around) Do you see her?

Neru: No.

Meiko: Keep looking; she's bound to pop up sooner or later.

Miku: (pops out from behind air duct near Meiko and Neru) KYAAA!

Meiko: (startled, turns around and punches Miku and Neru in the face, knocking them out) (shocked) Aagh! Are you alright? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Neru and Meiko standing by lamppost)

Meiko: I guess I should've remembered that day was April Fool's Day, huh?

Neru: (sigh) Sometimes, I wonder how I could live without that girl in my life…but then I quickly forget why.

Haku: (running in with pants on head, shoes on hands, and jacket backwards) Neru! I'm coming! Don't start without me! (trips and falls on face)

Neru: Haku, on the other hand…

Meiko: Don't worry; you'll get used to it.

1 Haku's ringtone is "Tsumanne".


	15. Nightmares on Koushu Kaido

**Nightmares on Koushu Kaido**1

* * *

Meiko's Nightmare: Friday the 4th2

(scene of Meiko in a jail cell; a police officer is standing nearby3)

Meiko: No, I'm serious. You've got to believe me!

Officer: (sigh) (sorrowfully) I wish I could, Meiko. (starts to leave) I really wish I could…

Meiko: No, wait! Dad, come back! I'm innocent! (shakes the bars angrily and violently) I'M INNOCENT!!! (stops shaking the bars, then slumps to the ground, weeping) (notices footsteps in the hall) (cut to view of a mysterious child holding a teddy bear)

Child: (slowly walks into view) Tsk, tsk, tsk. Nobody's going to believe someone with that kind of temper, now will they?

Meiko: (slowly becoming enraged) Don't play dumb with me, kid. You know all too well you killed him.

Child: (chuckles evilly) What of it? You're the one who let yourself get in the wrong place at the wrong time. You know, (smirks) this kind of reminds me of a song you sang once; I think it went something like this. (clears throat)  
_Now the first Alice was a gallant crimson one,  
Wandering the world with her trusty sword in hand,_

Meiko: No. No, no, no, no, no, no!

Child: _Cutting down everyone she saw along the way,  
Leaving a trail of blood as she walked the land._

Meiko: (tries to grab Child through the bars) Stop it! Stop singing!

Child: _This new Alice was last seen within the woods,  
Where she was trapped as a wanted fugitive._

Meiko: Oh, no you don't!

Child: _If not for the trail of blood she had left behind,_

Meiko: (more enraged) Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Child: _No one would have realized that she had even lived._

Meiko: STOP SINGING!!! (cut to Meiko in her bed; her eyes suddenly flip open) (gasp) (gets up in her bed) Oh, it was just a dream. (rubs her head, then flops back on her bed, staring at the ceiling) I knew I shouldn't have had that calamari.

* * *

Kaito's Nightmare: Fans Gone Wild

(scene of Kaito getting out of his bed)

Kaito: (stretches and yawns) (walks to the bathroom, then enters and closes the door behind him)

Voice: (from inside) Excuse me, Kaito-san. Can I have your autograph?

Kaito: (startled) How did you get in here?! (cut to Kaito walking down the street)

Akaito: (falls from the sky attached to a bungee ford) Hey, Kaito! (goes back up; Kaito stops in his tracks) (comes back down) Could you please… (goes back up) (comes back down) give me your autogra- (the bungee cord snaps) (falls to the ground, then gets back up)

Kaito This is the 75th time you've asked me; you don't need me to sign another scrap of paper, do you?

Akaito: Actually, I wanted you to sign my cat. (Kaito stares awkwardly)

(cut to Taito waiting beside a dirty car; Kaito walks by)

Taito: hey, Kaito, can you sign my car?

Kaito: Uh…I don't have a wet brush with me.

Taito: No problem. Just lick your finger and write with it like this. (licks his finger, then writes4 on the car) See?

(cut to Kaito having lunch at a street vendor; the vendor takes off her fake beard and reveals herself to be Kikaiko)

Kikaiko: Hi there, Kaito!

Kaito: (startled) (chokes on food)

Kikaito: Aagh! Are you alright?

(cut to Kaito entering the lobby of Crypton Studios)

Kaito: (sigh) Finally. (eyes widen)

(camera circles Kaito, showing him surrounded by people)

People in Crowd: (chattering) Can I have your autograph? Sign this please! Etc.

Kaito: GET AWAY FROM (cut to Kaito in his bed) (leaps up in his bed and throws his pillow across the room) ME!!! (the pillow knocks over a lamp, causing it to shatter on the floor) (wide-eyed) Oops…

* * *

Miku's Nightmare: Lost My Voice

(scene of Miku alone in a recording booth)

Miku: (leaves the booth) Well, that's enough practice for today. (a faint wisp leaves Miku's mouth) (mouths words; Caption: Huh? That was weird. Oh, well. I'd better check on the others.) (cut to Miku meeting Teto in the stairwell)

Teto: Hi, Miku. How are you?

Miku: (mouths words; Caption: Hello there, Teto-san. What brings you here?)

Teto: Huh? Could you speak up? I don't think I got that.

Miku: (mouths words; Caption: What's wrong? Do you have rubbish in your ears?)

Teto: (sticks her finger in her ear and twists it) Huh? Speak up. Don't mumble.

Miku: (mouths words; Caption: Mumble? Teto-san, what's wrong with-?) (notices no words coming out of her mouth) (mouths words; Caption; What on Earth…?) (panics, runs up the stairs) (mouths words; Caption: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Teto: (sweatdrops with a thoroughly confused look on her face) Weird. I thought she'd be happy to see me… (cut to Miku trying to talk to Neru; Neru has just put away her cell phone)

Miku: (flails her arms, mouths words; Caption: Neru-san, help! For some reason, I've lost my voice! I can't talk or sing anymore! It's awful!)

Neru: Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, Miku. What is it?

Miku: (takes a deep breath, points to her mouth, mouths words; Caption: I lost my voice.)

Neru: (alarmed) You WHAT?!

Miku: (surprised) (mouths words; Caption: Wait a minute. You can understand me?)

Neru: Of course; all I have to do is read the subtitles at the (points to the bottom of the screen) bottom of the screen. (mouths words; Caption: Try it.)

Miku: (looks down at the bottom of the screen, mouths words; Caption: …I don't see anything…)

Neru: Odd. Maybe you aren't looking hard enough. (notices a faint wisp fly by) Hmm? What was that?

Miku: (mouths words; Caption: Neru-san, I think that might be my voice!)

Neru: Well, get it! Hurry! (Miku starts to pursue the wisp) Oh, and take this jar as well. (hands Miku an empty jar5)

Miku: (takes the jar and bows quickly) (mouths words; Caption: Thank you, Neru-san.) (hurries after the wisp) (cut to Miku asleep in her bed; she gently opens her eyes, rolls over, and stares at the ceiling for a few seconds)  
(slowly, under her breath) _I was born at a time that welcomed me with open arms,  
And I've walked these open roads both virtual and real.  
So if you please, for now at least,  
Don't taint any of my dreams.  
_(sigh) Good. (smiles) It was only a dream.

* * *

Len's Nightmare: Never Say Goodbye

(scene of Rin lying in a hospital bed attached to a heartbeat monitor; Len sits nearby in a wheelchair6 while a doctor looks on)

Doctor: (looks at Len) I'm afraid the injuries are…fatal…

Len: (fights back tears) Fatal…? No. No, I don't believe you.

Doctor: I'm sorry, Len. Today could be her last day; there's nothing we can do. (turns and leaves the room)

Len: (wheels over to Rin, who looks at Len from her bed) Rin, please, you can't die!

Rin: L…Len… Don't be such a crybaby. We both knew this was a possibility when we first went out in our road roller.

Len: (fights back tears) But why? Why you?! (hic) (sob)I should be the one dying in that hospital bed, not you!

Rin: No, Len. Y-you shouldn't be. I…I would've wanted you to stay safe…as much as…you wanted me safe…

Len: What?

Rin: For as long as I can remember, we've been together. You and me…even before we were born…I can understand why you'd want me to stay…I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, Len… my comrade…my kin… my brother…

Len: Rin…

Rin: … (starts to close her eyes) Goodbye… (the heartbeat sensor flatlines)

Len: No…this can't be happening…no…no, no, no, NO! (shakes Rin's body violently) (sobs) Rin! Say something! Anything! (breathes heavily; tears stream down his face) Rin! Answer me! (cut to Len in his bed; he jolts awake and swings himself upright with tears in his eyes) RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!! (breathes heavily, then looks over to Rin asleep in her bed nearby) Oh my goodness… (wipes the tears from his eyes) What a nightmare… (continues to breathe heavily, then stops) I pray that it never comes true…

* * *

Rin's Nightmare: Something's Wrong Here

(scene of pitch black)

Len: Rin? Rin, are you awake? (eyelid opens through black to reveal Len standing over Rin from Rin's POV)

Rin: Nnng…mrff…

Len: I'll take that as a yes. See you later. (leaves the room)

Rin: (Oh, that's right; we're supposed to go to Magical Land with Gakupo today.) (gets out of bed; track Rin as she moves) (stretches and yawns, then gets out of bed) (walks to the bathroom, taking a change of clothes with her) (opens the door, then prepares to take off her clothes, but notices something odd in the mirror) Huh? (looks in the mirror to see what she thinks is Len standing in its place) Hey Len, is this some kind of sick joke?

Len: What are you talking about? I'm standing over here waiting for you to finish.

Rin: (sarcastically) Ha ha. Very- (notices mirror Len mimicking her movements, then looks back at the mirror) (Wait a minute; how can Len be out there when he's…) (eyes go wide) (cut to Rin sleeping in her bed; she thrashes around briefly) OH MY GOD! I'M A BOY!!! (stops thrashing, ending up on her hands and knees) (looks down at herself, making sure she's a girl, then breathes a sigh of relief) False alarm. (notices Len stirring in his bed nearby)

Len: (drowsy) Go to sleep already, Rin. It's late.

Rin: Oh, sorry about that, Len. (jumps back into bed, pulling her blanket over herself) Good night.

Len: (garbled and drowsy) Good night…again…

* * *

1 This is the actual name of a major street in Tokyo.

2 One of the Japanese words for four, "shi," also means death.

3 The officer's badge has the word "UTAU" engraved in it.

4 Taito just wrote "Cantarella" on the car.

5 The jar has a label that reads "Lots of Laughs".

6 The wheelchair has a label that reads "White Letter".


	16. I No Speaking the Engrish

I No Speaking the Engrish

(scene of Gakupo and Luka walking down the street at night)

Gakupo: So, how was your night tonight, Luka?

Luka: (chuckle) I certainly don't have anything to complain about you taking me out to a karaoke bar on my birthday, but why didn't you invite the others?

Gakupo: I did; they just thought we needed some quality time together. And by the way, (he and Luka stop walking) I may have told you back there already, (looks at Luka with a shimmer in his eyes) but you sang like an angel.

Luka: Thanks, Gakupo, but you say that every time you hear me sing. How's this time any different?

Gakupo: That's easy; (softly) I was the only one who had the pleasure of listening to the melodious sound of your voice, (moves in closer to stroke Luka's face) just as only you were there to listen to mine.

Luka: (blushes) I… (giggles nervously) I…don't know what to say…

Gakupo: (starts stroking Luka's face) Don't…say…a word… (closes his eyes, then moves in to kiss Luka, who is frozen in place)

Luka: (notices a random tourist coming towards them, regains her composure) Hey, who's that?

Gakupo: (stops short of Luka's face and opens his eyes) Huh? (backs away from Luka) (Aargh! Almost!)

Tourist: (stops in front of Gakupo and Luka, looks back and forth between them) Blah1. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?

Gakupo: Hey! Who invited you?

Tourist: Blah? (pulls out a Japanese phrasebook and reads it) Blah blah blah. Blah… (slowly, badly accented) Not my planting…for hat…the world is a has…fish are "flange"…emergency squishy pants are… (Gakupo starts laughing at Tourist) (angrily) Pipe! Rice growing fish blah paint are "cheesus" funky muck blah!

Luka: Alright, Gakupo. You've had your fun. Now let me handle this.

Gakupo: (stops laughing) Oh, come on, Luka. You've always wanted to see this, haven't you?

Luka: Only on TV. (turns to Tourist, clears throat)2 Blah blah blah blah blah blah; blah blah blah blah.

Tourist: Blah. Blah blah blah blah blah?

Luka: Blah blah blah blah; blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Tourist: Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Bhal blah blah blah blah blah?

Luka: (points in direction of Tokyo Tower) Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Tourist: Blah blah blah.

Luka: Blah blah.

Tourist: (starts to leave, then stops) Blah, blah blah blah blah blah.

Luka: Blah blah. (Tourist leaves)

Gakupo: What did he say?

Luka: He wanted to know where the airport was, so I gave him directions. He also told me to tell YOU to keep your thoughts to yourself, Gakupo.

Gakupo: Oh, okay. Let's go home. (gently holds Luka's hand)

Luka: Alright. (looks down and blushes as she and Gakupo resume their walk)

Gakupo: Oh, I saw that…

1 Gakupo and Luka are speaking Japanese; this tourist is speaking a different language.

2 Luka Megurine was designed to sing in Japanese and English; she's the only Vocaloid able to properly do so, though the English Vocaloids Prima and Sonika were somewhat able to do the same. Here,


	17. Keeping in Touch

Keeping in Touch

(scene of Teto on a computer; Haku is sleeping on a couch in the background)

Neru: (walks by, notices Teto on the computer) What's that you're doing, Teto?

Teto: Ah, I'm just writing an e-mail to my cousin, Ted.

Neru: Oh, him. All that lazy bum ever did was rip off songs from Miku and the others, didn't he1?

Teto: That's part of the reason why he never wanted to become a singer; he felt like it was all too much work for not enough gain. (chuckle) In a way, that brings me to why I never wanted to become a singer either.

Neru: How so?

Teto: You remember all those "get rich quick" schemes I tried back in high school, don't you? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Teto standing at a booth2 in front of a high school; Neru comes by)

Neru: What are you doing this time?

Teto: Selling sweets. Everybody loves sweets, so I figure; why not sell some to everybody at school?

Neru: Where'd you get all of those sweets in the first place?

Teto: …I found them by the side of the road.

Neru: Found them? By the side of the road? That doesn't seem physically possible unless some huge truck or plane dropped its cargo by mistake.

Teto: (confused) Are you suggesting these sweets are alien to Japan?

Neru: (confused) Are YOU suggesting sweets migrate? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Neru at Teto at Teto's computer)

Teto: (sigh) Good times.

Neru: Yes, yes they were… So, are you done with that e-mail yet? Miku wanted to invite us to her next big concert in Osaka. I already told her I'd come and try to convince you to join me.

Teto: A concert? In Osaka? Of course I'll come, but why didn't she just e-mail me?

Neru: Apparently she tried, but you gave her the wrong e-mail address, so it went to me instead.

Teto: Oh, I see. Kind of like that time when you—

Neru: (leers at Teto) Not another word.

1 Ted Kasane, an UTAUloid based on Teto Kasane, is known for performing slipshod covers of Vocaloid songs, including "Cendrillion" and "Love is War".

2 The booth has a banner that reads "I Love Sweets!"


	18. My Life as an Alien Robot

My Life as an Alien Robot

(scene of GUMI sitting on roof of Crypton Studios, swinging her legs nonchalantly)

GUMI: (sigh) (cut to close up of GUMI's hand; turns hand and reads label engraved on wrist1) (cut to Miku coming up on roof; she spots GUMI)

Miku: (walks up beside GUMI) There you are, GUMI-san. Gakupo-san and the others have been worried about you lately.

GUMI: (not turning to face Miku) That's nice.

Miku: Is something wrong?

GUMI: No. Nothing's wrong… I'm fine…

Miku: Come on. You can tell me.

GUMI: Oh, alright. (takes a deep breath) You know, life with you guys has been swell, but I guess…I guess I just miss my creator.

Miku: You mean that bounty hunter Black Rock Shooter?

GUMI: Yeah. It's been months since I last heard from her. You haven't heard from her lately, have you?

Miku: No, I haven't, but when I looked at her, something about her seemed very familiar.

GUMI: Besides the fact that apart from her black hair and deep blue eyes, she looked just like you?

Miku: Well, word of the Dark Stars didn't surface around the news until shortly after my mother disappeared. My father did his best to find her, but between me and his job as a salesman, he never succeeded.

GUMI: At least you have a family, Miku. The closest thing I ever had to family was the Dark Stars, and most of them just treated me like another piece of equipment. (sigh) It's times like these where I envy you humans.

Miki: (leaps in out of nowhere) Oh, come on. What's there for you to envy?

GUMI: (startled) Where did you come from?

Miku: (simultaneously) (startled) Who in the world are you?

Miki: What's the matter? You've never seen someone like me before? (jumps around Miku and GUMI inquisitively) (fast-paced) So, I hear you two had a run-in with my "boss" a while ago. How'd it go? Did you get to battle any space aliens? No? What about going on a top secret mission to another country? No? Well, that's just—hey! Didn't I see you singing in Okinawa once? I know you anyw—wow! So you're that robot she told me about. It's a pleasure to meet you, but who are you?

GUMI: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. (Miki stops jumping around) Who's your boss?

Miki: What's the matter? She never told you about me?

Miku: Uh, excuse me. If I may interrupt here, it's (quickly bows in respect) nice to meet you. My name is Miku Hatsune, and this is my friend, GUMI.

Miki: Nice to meet you too, Miku. I'm Sakaki Fujikawa-Asatori 2.0, but everybody back home just calls me Miki.

GUMI: Uh…nice to meet you…I guess.

Miki: Thanks. (fast-paced) so anyway, what are you two doing up here on such a fine day like this? You should be in a park or something. You know, within the conversation, I've always loved antigravity chambers; they make you feel like you're flying through—hey! Where'd you get that nifty gadget? They only made four of these back home. (continues in background)

1 The label reads "Property of Black Rock Shooter".


	19. Night at the Arcade

Night at the Arcade

(scene of Rin and Len at an arcade, playing StarCraft II1)

Rin: (What the—hey! How did he—oh, wait a minute. There must be some Observers around here. I'd better take them out before Len kills all my Infest—OH MY GOD!) (cut to Rin's screen; Len's Mothership uses Vortex to wipe out a massive Zerg force) (MY INFESTORS! MY ULTRALISKS!! MY ROACHES!!! THEY'RE ALL GONE!!!!) (cut to Len shaking his head on his computer)

Len: (Geez, Rin. You're making this too easy, letting me get my Warp Prism that close to your expansions while my Mothership harasses your main force. Oh well. Time to wrap this up.) (cut to Len's screen; a squad of Protoss units warps into a Zerg expansion and attacks) (tracks to another area of battlefield and orders another Protoss squad to reinforce his Mothership)

(cut to view of Rin and Len at separate computers; suddenly, all lights go out and all machines shut down)

Rin and Len: (startled) AAAAAA!!!

Len: (nervously) Riiiiiiiiiin…

Rin: It's so dark. Who turned out the lights? (hears creepy tune2 coming from somewhere nearby) Okay, Len. Ha ha. Very funny. You got me. Now knock it off.

Len: (turns on a torch3) That's not me, Rin.

Rin: Huh? (puts hands on hips in disbelief) Nice try, Len. You may have been creaming me at StarCraft II, but you won't trick me this time.

Len: Honest, it's not me.

Rin: Oh, really? Then if you're not playing that tune, who is? (creepy tune plays again)

Len: There's that tune again. Do you have any idea who's playing it?

Rin: Why do you think I asked you? (starts to shudder) You don't think…

Len: (pause) I don't know. There was that one movie about that curse…

Rin: You mean the one where you listen to some creepy tune four times, and then die a horrific death?

Len: That's the one… (creepy tune plays a third time)

Rin and Len: (horrified) LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!! (run out of arcade, screaming and yelling, stumbling over different obstacles)

(cut to Meiko hiding beneath a desk, trying to suppress her laughter; a keyboard4 can be seen nearby)

Meiko: (snickering) (April Fool's.)

Kaito: (off screen) What are you doing down there, Meiko?

Meiko: (startled) Gah! (looks up) (relieved) Oh, Kaito, it's you.

1 Rin's username is "Rin Rin Signal", and Len's username is "Username". Rin is playing as red Zerg while Len plays as white Protoss.

2 The tune is the intro jingle from "Circle You, Circle You".

3 This is what's known as a flashlight in the United States and Canada; elsewhere, it's known as a torch or electric torch.

4 The keyboard's brand name is "The Thought to Tell".


	20. Tokyo Sunset

Tokyo Sunset

(scene of Meiko and Kaito sitting on a bench1 at a train station; Meiko is holding an open can of sake2)

Meiko: Kaito?

Kaito: What is it?

Meiko: Do you ever get the feeling we're being watched?

Kaito: You mean right now, as in someone's watching us, but we don't know who it is or where it is?

Meiko: Yeah, exactly.

Kaito: Not really. You see, the thing is—

Meiko: Let me guess. You actually get that feeling all the time, but you're so used to it that you just ignore it? (takes a sip of sake)

Kaito: That's pretty much it…

Meiko: (bursts out laughing) Typical you, eh Kaito?

Kaito: What do you mean?

Meiko: Well, we've known each other since grade school, we took three classes together in the same high school, and we even got into the same university. (gets up and walks around near Kaito) What's with you, you big goof?

Kaito: Me? A big goof? What are you talking about?

Meiko: Oh, come on, Kaito. I treat you to dinner on your birthday every year, I write you flattering notes every Valentine's Day, I even write love songs with you in them, and you still don't get it?

Kaito: (with a thoroughly defeated look on his face) Get what?

Meiko: (sits back down) (dejected) Oh, never mind. I guess you'll never figure it out. (turns to Kaito with a gleam in her eyes) But then again, I suppose that's why I love you; you act so gentlemanly all the time, but you just don't recognize romance at all, even if it comes up and smacks you in the face.

Kaito: (surprised) You what?

Meiko: You know, you're totally oblivious to anybody's feelings for you—

Kaito: No, not that. The part about why you love me. Why didn't you say so before?

Meiko: I did. You just never… (notices Kaito scooting closer to her) K-Kaito? What are you…? (Kaito closes his eyes and slowly leans toward Meiko as if about to kiss her) (smiles, closes her eyes, then leans toward Kaito as if about to kiss him)

Kaito: (opens his eyes and stops moving) Uh, by the way, where's Miku?

Meiko: (opens her eyes and stops moving just short of Kaito) Huh? (backs off) Oh, uh…

(cut to Miku standing alone in a crowded area beneath a clock post3)

Miku: Um, hello? Has anyone seen Meiko-san and Kaito-san? I was supposed to meet them here fifteen minutes ago. Anyone?

1 The bench has a banner that reads "Time Forgotten One".

2 This particular can is One Cup Ozeki, a type of sake widely available from vending machines.

3 There's a sign beneath the clock that reads "Time Limit".


	21. Lesson Learned

Lesson Learned

(scene of Kiyoteru and Yuki at a sound stage; Yuki stands on stage as Kiyoteru watches)

Yuki: (gets off the stage) How was that, Hiyama-sensei?

Kiyoteru: I must say I'm impressed; you've improved a lot since you recovered from that cold two weeks ago.

Yuki: Did I? I didn't notice. (smiles sweetly) Mommy and Daddy always told me I was good at singing.

Kiyoteru: My parents told me the exact same thing when I was your age.

Yuki: Did they now? Then why did you become a teacher?

Kiyoteru: I…I guess I just liked teaching more; as I grew up, I felt like it was my destiny to contribute to the development of society. Plus, I never felt comfortable with the thought of constantly living in the spotlight. (starts to leave sound stage; Yuki follows)

Yuki: I see. Did you ever think Sakine-san and Shion-san would become singers like they are today?

Kiyoteru: You mean Meiko and Kaito, right? (Yuki nods) Actually, I had no doubt, especially with Kaito; he was one of the best students I ever had. You should have seen him; it's almost like I didn't even have to teach him. (fade to white)

(fade from white to scene of a young Kaito singing1 in class; Kiyoteru and other students look on)

Kaito: _Although my life is incomplete,  
Born without a soul, doomed to wander aimlessly,  
I know that with every heartbeat,  
I will sing unto your memory for eternity.  
As I stand beneath this full moon,  
I may never find a way to see your face again.  
Still I know my time will follow soon,  
So I'll sing unto the ever-changing sky without end!_

(falls to his knees, breathing heavily)

Kiyoteru: Very impressive, Kaito. That's the best singing I've heard today.

Kaito: Thank you, Hiyama-sensei. (gets back on his feet) I just made that up last night, so I was worried I'd forget it before today. (Kiyoteru's jaw drops and eyes go wide) Uh…Hiyama-sensei? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kiyoteru and Yuki leaving sound stage)

Yuki: And what about Hatsune-san? Was she that good?

Kiyoteru: (chuckle) Not even close at first, but she sure was persistent.

Yuki: That's amazing. (with a determined look in her eyes) When I grow up, I want to be just like them.

Kiyoteru: Don't we all, Yuki? Don't we all?

1 The following lyrics are part of a fandub of "A Thousand-Year Solo".


	22. This is It!

This is It!

(scene of Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka backstage; applause can be heard in the background)

Rin: (barely able to contain excitement) Oh, man. I'm so excited! In just a few short minutes, we'll be giving our biggest performance ever! (to Len) If Mom and Dad could see us now, Len…

Len: I'm sure they could; you told them the moment Gakupo signed up with The39's1 for this event. All of Tokyo will be watching us tonight.

Rin: Yeah, I know! Aren't you excited? (notices Len looking down) What's wrong, Len?

Len: I just hope we don't…mess up…

Rin: Oh, don't be such a downer. If you quit saying that, you'll be fine.

Len: Really? (Rin nods) Thanks, Rin. What would I do without you?

Rin: Probably go out on stage with no pants on, run away screaming like a little girl, and then stay in your room for months.

Luka: (walks over to Rin and Len) So, are you two ready yet?

Rin: Oh, totally.

Len: Yep.

Luka: Good. We'll need to give it everything we've got if we're going to make it without Gakupo and the others.

Len: I know. Where are they, anyway?

(cut to Meiko leaning out the window of a tour bus stuck in a massive traffic jam; Kaito, Gakupo, GUMI, Yuki, and Kiyoteru are inside the bus)

Meiko: (flailing her arms angrily) STUCK IN TRAFFIC AGAIN?! GIMME A BREAK! THIS SUCKS! WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS?! COME ON!!!

(cut to Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka backstage; music2 can be heard in the background)

Miku: Well, wherever they are, Luka-san, they're counting on us now. I just hope we don't let them down.

Luka: Yeah. It's been tough for all of us, especially Gakupo. He didn't sleep for almost a week trying to advertize this concert, and despite all my warnings, he insisted on doing it himself.

Miku: Yeah, and even GUMI-san had trouble; she never found time to properly charge her battery before tonight. (notices the music has changed; crowd cheers wildly) Well, it looks like this is it: the night of our biggest performance yet. (steps on a platform) Wish me luck, everyone. (platform rises beneath her)

1 On March 9, 2010, the makers of Project Diva staged a digital concert at Zepp Tokyo with The39's. This chapter is loosely based on that event.

2 The song playing in the background is "The First Sound".


	23. Another All Nighter

Another All-Nighter

(scene of Gakupo sleeping at his desk in his office; there are huge stack of papers on either side of the desk)

Teto: (walks in through Gakupo's door) Hey there, Gakupo.

Gakupo: (jolts awake, sending papers fluttering to the floor) (barely intelligible) No, officer. I swear! (notices Teto; rubs his eyes) (normally) Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?

Teto: Miku sent me here to see if you wanted to come to the park with the rest of us. She's busy with Neru and the twins right now; they really seem to hate each other for some reason, which is odd because I'm the one who stuck that cream bread in Neru's panties, not Rin and Len. Needless to say, you look terrible.

Gakupo: (slouches out of his chair and gets down on his hands and knees) I know; it's all this (yawn) stupid paperwork. (starts picking up papers) If I had known being a manager would be so tough, I never would've taken this job when my great uncle Hinjo disappeared.

Teto: You're not done yet? The others finished theirs weeks ago. Let me give you a hand. (gets down on her hands and knees; starts grabbing and tossing papers everywhere)

Gakupo: Wha—no, no no! Wait! Stop!

Teto: (simultaneously) Uh, (singsong) Dit. Dit. Dit. Dit. Doot. DiDoot. (gets up on her feet)

Gakupo: (looks through all the papers Teto just threw everywhere, holding one form1 in his hand) (shocked and upset) Oh, great! This is just great! I was up all (crumples the form in his hand) night filling out these forms, and now they're all ruined!

Teto: Uh, Gakupo… (points to Gakupo's hand; Gakupo looks down and sees the crumpled form in his hand)

Gakupo: (uncrumples the form and tries to straighten it out) (chuckles nervously) You didn't see that. I'll just… (scuttles back to his desk) go back to…my desk…and redo…some of these… (sits down in his chair and picks up a pen2) (to himself) Stupid breadhead… (mumbles underneath his breath, then starts writing)

Teto: Okay. Moving right along now… (leaves Gakupo's office)

Gakupo: (stops writing, then slaps himself on the head) (Geez, I'm such a cad! These were all copies of the same form!) (leaps out of his chair; stumbles over his desk) Hey, Teto! Wait for me! (crashes into the door, then slides down)

1 The form has a title that reads "Paradichlorobenzene".

2 The pen is labeled "Summer Festival".


	24. Will Work for Face

Will Work for Face

(scene of Akaito sitting at a desk)

Akaito: So, what do you think? (cut to view of Person at a desk, holding papers)

Person: Hmm… (looks at papers) Let's see here… (fade to white)

(fade from white to black and white slideshow of previous events)

Person: (offscreen) You worked for an anonymous organization hell-bent on obtaining alien technology while pretending to work for another anonymous organization equally hell-bent on obtaining alien technology. During which time, you worked with someone named "Nightroot", you tried to kill the leader of the organization you infiltrated, you've been lost in a park for a maximum of five days at a time, and you've been launched off a gigantic springboard catapult and somehow survived the fall relatively unharmed. (fade to white)

(fade from white to Akaito and Person sitting at a desk)

Akaito: Yeah, well if you look at the skills section of that résumé, you'll hopefully see a more positive outlook… (chuckles nervously)

Person: I don't think so; all your skills seem to show ineptitude in the field of espionage and unwillingness to leave certain role models alone. What use could we have for you in this post office?

Akaito: Well, let me show you… (gets up, then leaves the office)

Person: (sits quietly for a moment; starts whistling "Sing my Love") (car horn starts blaring "La Cucarachas") (cut to view of the office; car crashes through door and runs over Person and desk) AAAAAAA—!!! (panic alarm goes off; cut to view of inside of car; an airbag goes off in Akaito's face)

Akaito: Mpph! (airbag deflates; cut to Person lying straddled underneath car)

Person: (continuing from previous line) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I can't feel my leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegs! (cut to Akaito slumping out of car)

Akaito: (moan in pain) Why did I think that was a good idea…?


	25. Tell Me a Story

Tell Me a Story

(scene of Meiko and Rin walking down the street)

Meiko: So, why are we out here again, Rin?

Rin: If I recall correctly, it'll be Miku's birthday in a few weeks. Last year, neither of us got her presents, so I was hoping we could somehow make it up to her.

Meiko: You might want to be careful about that.

Rin: What do you mean?

Meiko: Well, in a way, this situation reminds me of an old folktale I heard… (fade to white)

(fade from white to slideshow of old folktale)

Meiko: (offscreen) There once was a girl named Tokoyo, the daughter of a distinguished samurai named Oribe Shima. Shima had displeased the then-sick emperor, was subsequently banished from the kingdom, so he had to set up home on a group of islands called the Oki Islands, away from his daughter. Both he and Tokoyo were miserable at being separated, and she became determined to find him. She sold all her belongings and set out for a place called Akasaki, just off the coast from the Oki Islands. Although she asked the fishermen to ferry her there, they all refused, since it was forbidden to visit anyone banished there.

One night, she took a boat and sailed to the islands herself. She spent the night on the beach. The next morning while searching for her father, she encountered a fisherman, whom she asked about her father. The fisherman said he knew nothing, and warned her not to ask anyone else about his whereabouts. Therefore, she had to eavesdrop on people's conversations, rather than simply asking them directly. Unfortunately, Tokoyo could not gather any useful information this way.

On one evening, she came upon a shrine of Buddha, and after praying to him, collapsed and fell asleep. She was awoken by the sound of someone crying, and looked up to see a priest leading a young girl to the edge of a cliff. He would've pushed her off the edge if not for Tokoyo's intervention. The priest said he was going to sacrifice the girl in order to appease the god Okuninushi, who demanded the annual sacrifice of a—(cut to Meiko and Rin walking down the street)

Rin: Excuse me, but what does any of that have to do with getting Miku a present?

Meiko: I'm getting to that. Sheesh. (fade to white)

(fade from white to slideshow of old folktale)

Meiko: (offscreen) Now, as I was saying, the god Okuninushi demanded the annual sacrifice of a young girl. Tokoyo offered to take the girl's place, distraught from not finding her father. After praying to Buddha again, she dived down into the ocean with a dagger in her teeth.

At the bottom of the ocean, Tokoyo found a huge cave with a statue of the emperor who banished her father, and she immediately decided to destroy it. But after thinking about it again, she tied it to herself and began to swim back up with it. Before she could leave the cave, a serpentine creature (not Okuninushi, but something else) confronted her. Devoid of fear, Tokoyo first stabbed it in the eye, blinding it, then relentlessly attacked until she finally killed it. When she arrived at the shore, the priest and girl carried her to town. Word of her heroic deed spread everywhere, and the emperor's unknown ailment suddenly disappeared. He realized that Tokoyo must have released him from a curse, because of what she did to the statue. He ordered the release of Oribe Shima, who happily returned with her daughter to their home town. (fade to white)

(fade from white to Meiko and Rin approaching a party store)

Rin: I still don't get it. (Rin and Meiko stop walking, then pause)

(cut to inside of party store; Meiko repeatedly beats Rin over the head with two books1 while other customers look on)

1 One of the books is titled "Disillusion". The other is titled "Stop Hitting Yourself!"


	26. Dude, What Would Happen?

Dude, What Would Happen

(scene of Kaito and Len sitting on a bench in a park)

Len: (listlessly whistles "Blossom-Cloudy")

Kaito: (gets up excitedly) Oh my goodness, Len. I just had the best idea ever.

Len: What is it?

Kaito: Well, it'll be Miku's birthday soon, won't it?

Len: Yeah, I guess.

Kaito: And she's an entertainment icon throughout all of Japan, isn't she?

Len: Oh, sure.

Miku: Not really, though; I'm only that way because of people like you.

Len: (jumps back) GAAH! How long have you been standing there?

Miku: About five minutes, Len-kun. What are you and Kaito-san doing here? I'm here because I needed some time outside.

Kaito: Well, if you really want to know, Len and I were just discussing—(Len hurriedly covers Kaito's mouth)

Len: Shh! Quiet, Kaito. We don't want her to know. (sweatdrops)

Miku: Don't want me to know what? (pause) Does this have something to do with me?

Len: (nervously shakes his head) N-n-n-no, not really.

Miku: I... (thinks about Len's statement for a moment) okay. See you guys later. (walks away)

Len: (lets his hand fall off Kaito's mouth) Phew. That was close.

Kaito: I'll say; I didn't even get to the point I was trying to make.

Len: What? You said something about Miku's birthday being soon, so I assumed you were thinking about some kind of surprise party for her.

Kaito: I didn't mention where it would be, did I?

Len: Let me guess: on the roof of Crypton Studios? We've been there lots of times. Remember the time when…? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kaito and Len on roof of Crypton Studios; Kaito's tongue is stuck to a pole)

Kaito: (barely intelligible) Aw, geez. Why did I do this? Tell me why I just did this.

Len: I don't know, but you did it.

Kaito: (barely intelligible) Well, don't just stand there. Help me.

Len: How? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kaito and Len at a park; Len is holding yakitori1)

Kaito: First of all, I know we've been on the roof a lot. Second of all, I'm not the one who came up with the idea to lick that pole; you and Gakupo dared me to do it. Third of all, I actually had a trip to Hawaii in mind for Miku's birthday.

Len: Oh. Well, just one problem: we don't have the money.

Kaito: Oh, that's right; those stupid distributors get all the profits for our hard work. But still, good idea, right?

1 Yakitori is a barbecued chicken skewer, usually served with beer. In Japan, it usually consists of a wide variety of parts of the chicken. It is not usual to see straight chicken meat as the only type of yakitori in a meal.


	27. Star Light, Star Bright

Star Light, Star Bright

(scene of Yuki sitting by the windowsill in her bedroom on a starry night)

Yuki: _On this night, I see stars twinkling, twinkling,  
All across the clear sky.  
They're so pretty tonight, but they look so sad.  
I can't help but wonder why…_

_Their silver light begins sparkling, sparkling,  
Right before my eyes.  
Oh, how I wish that I could fly off into space.  
Oh, I feel so lonely right now._

_I've been told that when people go back to the sky,  
They appear as shooting stars,  
And whenever you see them, they leave letters in the sky._

(someone knocks on the door)

(stands up and turns around) Come in.

Miku: (comes into Yuki's room) Good evening, Yuki-chan.

Yuki: Oh hi, Hatsune-san. What brings you here? I was just singing a lullaby my mommy taught me and looking at the stars outside.

Miku: Well, I heard someone singing as I passed by your bedroom, so that answers my question.

Yuki: Okay. Where are the others?

Miku: Gakupo-san took Luka-san to see a kabuki play, Meiko-san took Kaito-san and the twins to Magical Land, Hiyama-sensei is teaching night classes, and GUMI-san is working on renovations in the basement. That's a nice song, by the way, Yuki-chan; it kind of reminds me of when I was your age.

Yuki: It does?

Miku: Yeah. My parents and I used to go stargazing all the time. Sometimes, I noticed how much certain groups of stars looked like people and things. (kneels down by the windowsill) See those stars over there? (points to the sky) If you connect them together like (cut to view of the night sky; imaginary lines appear, connecting stars) this, what do you see?

Yuki: Hmm… It looks like… (a shape forms in the sky) Tsuzumi1.

Miku: Really? (cut to Miku and Yuki by the windowsill) When I look at them, I see a woman's kimono sleeve draping to the south2.

Yuki: Maybe you're connecting them differently, Hatsune-san.

Miku: Yeah, I guess you're right. (pause)

Yuki: You know, a thought just hit me.

Miku: What?

Yuki: How come nobody's noticed that I'm the only one of the ten of us who actually looks Japanese?

1 As a standard instrument of both Nou and Kabuki drama, tsuzumi is a Japanese drum. It has heads on both ends and is beaten with the fingertips. Many drums of this type are thought to have been introduced into Japan prior to the Nara period (710-794). Especially as they are used in court music, tsuzumi still retain much of their original form. Strings are used to tie the heads from end to end, and the pattern gives the drum a somewhat hourglass appearance.

2 A number of objects which represent aspects of Japanese culture have been seen in the stars of Orion. Origins of the objects themselves as well as how they came to be represented in the sky are unclear, but each has characteristics that make it unique as a celestial Japanese cultural icon.


	28. Don't Cry Some More

Don't Cry Some More

(scene of Haku sitting at a computer, sobbing; a web video plays on the computer screen)

Video on Computer: _You are my holy queen, and I, your humble emissary…  
… _(Haku buries her head in her arm in front of the keyboard, starts crying harder)_  
If we ever live again, your majesty, hear my plea.  
Let me be with you once more  
and protect you with my life…_

Meiko: (comes in, drinking a bottle of sake1; notices Haku crying in front of the computer; lowers her bottle) Huh? (approaches Haku) What's wrong? (notices the video on screen2) Oh yeah, that.

Haku: (looks up with tears in her eyes) Meiko? What are you…? (hic) (sob) What are you doing here?

Meiko: I couldn't help but notice you crying in front of the computer, and that's the fifth time today you've watched that video.

Haku: (fighting back tears) I know… (sniff) …but I just can't stop crying when I see it; it's so beautiful…

Meiko: I'll admit that story was pretty touching, almost like a darker version of The Prince and the Pauper.

Haku: Meiko, they don't even compare. I mean, (throws her arms out at the computer screen) look! I can't even begin to imagine how someone would write a story like this into a book.

Meiko: Uh, maybe because it would be too short.

Haku: Who cares? It's still a beautiful story, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of it. Besides, you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?

Meiko: (stares blankly) Uh… (hesitantly) S-sure, I…guess…

Haku: (excited) Really?

Meiko: You couldn't blame me for trying, but then again, it wouldn't work; we don't look alike at all.

Haku: Neither did the twins in the video, but they fooled all those people coming after them.

Meiko: Yeah, but that's just a story. What difference does that make to a situation like—?

Haku: (starts sobbing; eyes start watering)

Meiko: Oh, no…

1 The bottle is labeled "Snow Flower".

2 The video is on Nico Nico Douga, a popular video sharing website in Japan managed by Niwango, a subsidiary of Dwango. It's the 14th most visited website in Japan.


	29. Roller Coaster Ruckus

Roller Coaster Ruckus

(scene of Kaito, Gakupo, Rin, and Len at an amusement park; Rin notices a massive, wild roller coaster1)

Rin: Ooh, that looks fun. (to the others) Let's ride that one!

Len: Uh, are you sure? That roller coaster looks… (cut to the roller coaster; an empty car flies off the track and explodes on the ground below, setting off a car alarm)

Bystander: MY CAR!!

(cut to Len eyeing Rin nervously)

Len: You know… (chuckles nervously) …dangerous…

Rin: Danger? What danger? (strolls ahead of the others) I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger! HA HA HA HA! (random people fall into the water behind her, screaming)

Len: (looking behind Rin with a petrified expression on his face) Uh, right…

Gakupo: Too bad I didn't bring my camera; Luka would've liked to see everything here.

Kaito: Is that why she immediately said "No," after you invited her to come with us? She seemed kind of busy with GUMI.

Gakupo: Right… (sigh) (face lights up) Hey, I know. Why don't we ride that roller coaster with the twins and give a souvenir to Luka when we get back home.

Kaito: Well, I don't doubt she'd like the souvenir, but what about us? Have you seen what that thing can do to people? That thing is a death machine.

Gakupo: Oh, come on. It'll be fun! (cut to Rin, Len, Kaito, and Gakupo in a four-seater car at the roller coaster station)

Kaito: I still don't think this is a good idea…

Gakupo: Oh, don't be a baby, Kaito. How bad could it—(roller coaster rockets up the track) (startled; clutches the handlebar tightly while everybody else screams) BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!

(roller coaster car rockets around the track while Rin, Len, Kaito, and Gakupo scream and ad lib)

(cut to Rin, Len, Kaito, and Gakupo in a four-seater car at the roller coaster station; Kaito is smiling merrily, Rin and Len are petrified with fright, and Gakupo is upside-down in his seat)

Kaito: (laughing) So, who's up for another ride? (notices everyone else's conditions) Anyone?

Rin: (slowly turns her head to Len) L-L-L-Len…th-th-the next time I ask to ride a roller coaster…

Len: (rattling his body without looking at Rin) Y-y-y-yeah…?

Rin: T-t-t-t-t-talk me out of it…

1 The roller coaster is called "Child's Dream".


	30. So Much to Live for

So Much to Life For

(scene of Luka sorting papers in Gakupo's office)

Luka: (to herself) Geez, how do you put up with all of this? One day, you don't bother with paperwork, and the next day, that's all you bother with.

GUMI: (pops in) Hi, Luka.

Luka: (jumps, sending papers fluttering to the floor) Eep! (turns around) Oh, GUMI, it's you. What are you doing here?

GUMI: Well, I was just walking around the building and I thought I'd check in on what you're doing. It looks like you don't have a lot to do besides sort papers.

Luka: I know. That man is so erratic sometimes.

Gakupo: (pops in) Why, I'm almost flattered, Luka.

Luka: How did you get in here? I thought you were at the amusement park with Kaito and the twins.

Gakupo: Do not go there, please… (cut to roller coaster car rocketing around the track while Rin, Len, Kaito, and Gakupo scream)

Kaito, Gakupo, Rin, and Len: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh my god! We're going to die! It's not supposed to bend like that! You call that breaking my spine? Hey, I can see my house from here! My brain is going into my feet! Where's the emergency brake on this thing? AAGH! MY SPINE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (cut to Gakupo shuddering in his office)

Gakupo: (nervously) Ugh… I never want to see…another roller coaster…for as long as I live… Nuuuuh…

GUMI: There, there, Gakupo. (playfully wraps her arms around Gakupo) You and Luka still have so much to live for. I mean, after all, (eyes Luka) how long has it been since you last went out?

Luka: (slightly embarrassed) Wha—? We're not…I mean…we haven't…he just… (blushes) (trying to be serious) This isn't a conversation for children!

GUMI: (slyly) Oh, don't try to fake it, Luka; you know what's coming to you. (lets go of Gakupo) Besides, I may have only been active for a few years, but I'm not a child, so don't treat me like one.

Luka: Then don't act like one!

Gakupo: (regains composure) Ladies, ladies, please. There's no need for you two to fight over me; I'm already—

GUMI: Who said anything about fighting over you?

Luka: (embarrassed) Who asked you, you bucket of bolts?

GUMI: Uh, Gakupo did?

Luka: (normally) Oh. Okay. (pause)

Gakupo: So, uh, (stoops down to pick up papers) do either of you want to help me get these papers back on my desk?


	31. Cabin Crazy III

Cabin Crazy III

(scene of Miku, Neru, Teto, and Haku sitting around in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite)

Haku: (holding a bottle of sake1) (sigh) (slightly slurred) I'm bored.

Neru: Well, maybe if you got of your lazy bum once in a while, you wouldn't be sitting here complaining about being bored, now would you? (opens her cell phone and checks for messages) (Crap. Nothing.)

Teto: Not that this isn't fun, but (gets up and heads for the kitchen) I'm going to see if there's anything to eat.

Neru: Is food honestly all you ever think about, Teto?

Teto: Not really; sometimes, I think about tongue twisters.

Neru: Like?

Teto: Like the one I saw on my Facebook page this morning. (clears her throat) If I'm a singer that sings like the singer that sings a song in front of singers, I'll sing a song in front of singers but I'm not a singer that sings like the singer that sings a song in front of singers, so I'm a signer that won't sing a song in front of singers!

Miku: Wow, Teto-kun. How did you get so good at that?

Teto: I don't know; it just comes naturally, I guess.

Miku: Let me try. If I'm a singer that sings in the singer song that sings in the fromth tha—blublfuful—(blows a tongue-tied raspberry) (Miku and Teto laugh)

Neru: (smiling; closes her cell phone and gets up) Here's one you might like. Kitty, kitten, grandbaby kitten, kitty, kitten, grandbaby kitten.

Miku: Oh, that's easy. Kitty, kitten, grandbaby kitten, kitty, kitten, grandbaby kitten.

Teto: Kitty, kitty—uh, kitten, kitty—no, wait, I—uh—grandbaby kitty—kninkknnkmgkknkgrgl—(blows a tongue-tied raspberry)

Neru: (laughs) Not so good at tongue twisters as you thought, are you, Teto?

Haku: Oh, I know one—oop! (falls off the couch, dropping her bottle, then gets up) How's this one? (takes a deep breath) Go Go Google googled the googling goggles for a googol googles, but the google didn't google a googol googles, so Go Go Google didn't googoo for a goopy googol—oh, wait. I messed up. (takes a deep breath) Goo Goo Goggle made google that the googooing—wait a minute. That's wrong. Uh, sorry.

Miku: That's okay, Haku-san. Take your time.

Neru: (snickers) Yes, please do.

Haku: No, no, no, wait. I've got it. It's uh…wait. What, uh…what was I talking about again?

1 The bottle is labeled "Blue Butterfly".


	32. Nico Nico Doudou

Nico Nico Doudou

(scene of Meiko on a computer; Miku and Luka are playing shogi)

Meiko: (checking her Nico Nico Douga profile, notices a new video) (Huh? What's this?) (opens link to reveal Miku Miku Dance video of Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, and Len dancing to and singing "Luka Luka Night Fever") Miku, Luka, come and see this.

Miku: (looks at Meiko) What is it, Meiko-san?

Meiko: It's a video someone sent me on Nico Nico Douga. Look. (Miku and Luka come and look)

Luka: (takes one look at video, then enters shock) What the—hey! That's my song!

Meiko: Oh, come on, Luka. We've all sung each other's songs before. Why should this be any different? (video voices catch her attention) Hey, wait a second. Is that supposed to be me?

Luka: What?

Meiko: I sound like a…a what? One of those crappy voice emulators. Yeah, that's it. I sound like a voice emulator!1

Miku: It's meant to sound good.

Meiko: Well, it doesn't sound good, and it doesn't sound like me. I sound good, and if it sounded like me, it would sound good. Besides, since when was your hair gray, Miku?

Miku: Oh, I don't mind, Meiko-san. It's just a fan's rendition of us, anyway. I mean, look. (points to the screen) Who would paint a pair of crowbars to look like leeks, anyway?

Luka: (bluntly) You would, I guess, Miku.

Miku: Me? I don't even own a crowbar.

Luka: You still would.

Miku: You can't prove that.

Meiko: (clicks on a link to another video showing Miku singing at Zepp Tokyo2) Hey, look. That's you, isn't it?

Miku: (looks at the video) Huh?

Meiko: How did you change your clothes so quickly?

Miku: Uh…the same way Luka-san did when she was on stage. Right, Luka-san?

Luka: Please, let's not go there.

1 She's probably referring to the Vocaloid Meiko software program, which was released in 2004.

2 On March 9, 2010, the makers of Project Diva staged a digital concert at Zepp Tokyo with The39's.


	33. Untitled

Untitled

(scene of Miki sitting at a computer in a library; she notices something in her web browser)

Miki: (Huh? What's this? A manga website?) (clicks the link; cut to the monitor, showing various manga titles; cut to Miki; her face lights up) (rather loudly) I've got an idea!

People in the Library: SHHHHHHHHHH! (cut to Miki in a coffee shop writing on a piece of paper, humming "Good Night")

Miki: (looks up, then looks around for a moment, then resumes writing)

Waitress: (walking by, notices Miki writing) What's that you're doing, ma'am?

Miki: (not looking up) Oh, nothing, really. I'm just drawing some stuff for some kind of manga. Have you ever wanted to be a mangaka1 before?

Waitress: Uh, no, not really. I've heard that you have to go to school for quite a while, and a very specific one at that.

Miki: (fast-paced) What? That's ridiculous! You earthlings seem to have to study so much all the time just to do some simple task as drawing? I have no idea how you even survive. I've been here for…oh, forget how many years. I just don't understand how you people could be so—hey, where'd you get that dress, anyway? Is that standard attire for people who work in coffee shops? No, wait. Don't tell me. It's for an anime2 convention, isn't it?

Waitress: Uh…

Miki: I knew it. It's standard attire. Well, for this place, at least. I have no idea how other places run their employees. Nice bonnet, by the way. (normally) So, what do you want to talk to me about?

Waitress: I…just wanted to ask about that manga you're drawing.

Miki: Oh yeah, that. (holds up her manga page) Check it out. (the page shows Miki's conversation with Waitress)

Waitress: Oh…uh…is there any call for drawing a manga about one's personal life?

Miki: Of course. Has anybody done it before?

Waitress: I don't think so.

Miki: That's good enough for me. (gets up, takes her manga pages, and hands the waitress a ¥500 coin and a ¥250 coin) Keep the change. (darts out the door)

1 Mangaka is the Japanese word for a comic artist or cartoonist. Outside of Japan, manga usually refers to a Japanese comic book and mangaka refers to the author of the manga, who is usually Japanese. As of 2006, about 3000 professional mangaka were working in Japan.

2 Anime is animation originating in Japan. The world outside Japan regards _anime_ as "Japanese animation". Anime originated about 1917, but the characteristic anime style developed in the 1960s—notably with the work of Osamu Tezuka—and became known outside Japan in the 1980s.


	34. Falling Lessons

Falling Lessons

(scene of Kiyoteru entering a classroom)

Kiyoteru: (quickly writes his name on the blackboard) Good morning, everyone, and welcome to class 2-8. I'm your homeroom teacher, Kiyoteru Hiyama. Now, will you all kindly turn to page 144 in your textbooks? (a student gets up) Yes?

Student: Did you see that, Hiyama-sensei?

Kiyoteru: Hmm?

Student: Did you see someone fall past the window just now?

Kiyoteru: What?

Student: Somebody just fell past the window, (points to the window) that way.

Kiyoteru: (ignorant of the seriousness of the issue) Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad. (Student sits down) Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Will you all kindly—(Student gets back up) What is it?

Student: Another one.

Kiyoteru: What?

Student: Another one just fell past, downwards.

Kiyoteru: Huh?

Student: Two people have just fallen past that window to their almost certain death.

Kiyoteru: (ignorant of the matter) Fine. Fine.

Student: (increasingly worried) Look! (points to the window) Two people—(cut to the window, showing another person falling past it) three people have just fallen past that window.

Kiyoteru: (takes passing notice of the issue) It must be a sky diving lesson. The headmaster did mention new P.E. programs being implemented this year.

Student: Oh, yeah… (sits back down; another person falls past the window) (looks back) Hey, wasn't that one of the P.E. teachers?

Kiyoteru: (alarmed) WHAT? (frantically looks around) Uh, s-s-study hall, everyone. The next 15 minutes are open for study hall. (bolts through the door, leaving a Kyoteru-shaped imprint in it) (cut to Kiyoteru running up the stairs to the roof, then cut to Kiyoteru appearing on the roof, breathing heavily) Who do you think you—(eyes widen with surprise) WHAA? (cut to Miki with a large group of students)

Miki: Oh, it's you. Kiyoteru, is it?

Kiyoteru: Miki, what are you doing?

Miki: Oh, don't worry; there's a big air mattress at the bottom of the building. These students are perfectly (accidentally pushes a student off the building; out of frame, she lands on the giant air mattress below) safe. See? I'm giving flying lessons, by the way.

Kiyoteru: Don't you need a plane for that? And some parachu—wait a minute. What do you mean you're giving flying lessons? Humans can't fly. (Miki pauses awkwardly)


	35. A Sticky Situation

A Sticky Situation

(scene of Meiko and Kaito in a steakhouse)

Meiko: (chugs a bottle of sake1, then slams it on the table) Ha! Yummy! (cut to Meiko and Kaito at a table; the steakhouse is busy) How many is that, Kaito?

Kaito: I don't know. I lost track a while ago. (the steakhouse chef at Meiko and Kaito's table finishes cooking) How in the world are you able to drink so much without getting drunk?

Meiko: I don't know; it just comes naturally to me, I guess, kind of like how you can eat so much ice cream without gaining weight or getting brain freeze. I've heard some people are so sensitive to alcohol that they get drunk after one tiny sip. I'd like to think Haku falls in that category.

Kaito: Well, I wouldn't be surprised if I fell in that category as well; I've never even tried alcohol, and hopefully, I never will.

Meiko: Oh, it's not that bad once you get used to it…or at least it wouldn't be if not for those hangovers that follow in the morning. I still don't know why sometimes I get hangovers and other times I don't.

Kaito: Me neither, but either way, I still don't want to take that chance.

Meiko: Meh, that's your loss. (turns to her food and picks up her chopsticks2)

Kaito: Whatever you say, Meiko. (turns to his food and picks up his chopsticks)

Meiko and Kaito: _Itadakimasu!_3 (Kaito starts eating; Meiko struggles to hold her chopsticks properly and drops one of them)

Meiko: (under her breath) Rrgh! Ngh! Stupid chopsticks. Hold still!

Kaito: (stops eating) Uh, Meiko? Is something wrong? (notices Meiko fiddling with her chopsticks) Oh, that. I'm not sure anybody has told you this, but you're holding your chopsticks wrong.

Meiko: Huh?

Kaito: Just watch me. It's kind of like holding a pencil, like (holds up his chopsticks) this… (resumes eating) and this… and this… and this… and this… and this… and this… and this…

Meiko: RRAAAAAAAAAAGH! (gets up and throws her chopsticks in Kaito's face)

1 The bottle is labeled "Snow Flower".

2 There's a small label on the wrapper that says "Shinkai Summit".

3 "Itadakimasu" literally means "I humbly receive" in Japanese. It's customary in Japan to say it before eating. It is said to express gratitude for all who played a role in preparing, cultivating, ranching or hunting the food. This also acknowledges that living organisms have given their life to human beings as Dāna. I left it in Japanese to preserve cultural relevance.


	36. Just Around the Corner

Just Around the Corner

(scene of Miku, Rin, and Len in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite; Len is flipping through TV channels1 while Miku and Rin play chopsticks)

Rin: ("hits" Miku's hand, winning the game) Gotcha! (triumphantly claps her hands)

Miku: Nice one, Rin-chan.

Rin: Thanks, Miku. So what does that make it? 13-13?

Miku: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Len: (turns off the TV) (to himself) Nothing good on TV, anyway. (to Miku and Rin) Hey, uh, Rin? (Miku and Rin look at Len) A thought just hit me.

Rin: Did it hurt? (giggles)

Len: (sarcastically) Ha ha. Very funny. (normally) Anyway, as I was saying, Rin, you do know our birthday's coming soon, right?2

Rin: Oh yeah. And we never even asked the others to go get a cake.

Miku: Maybe we could make one. I think we have everything we need in the kitchen. (clock wipe to Miku, Rin, and Len in the kitchen of the Vocaloids' suite; Miku is at the counter with a mixing bowl while Rin and Len search the cabinets) Flour?

Rin: I can't find any.

Miku: Eggs?

Len: No dice.

Miku: Anything?

Rin: There's some sugar lying around. And also some butter and...well, I think we have almost everything we need for a cake.

Len: Why don't I call Gakupo and Luka about this?

Miku: Sure thing.

Len: Okay. (walks over to the phone, picks it up, and dials) Hi, it's me, Len. (pause) Yes, we are. (pause) How did you know? (pause) The script? What script? (pause) Oh, okay. See you later. (hangs up, then makes an embarrassed face as if realizing something important) Ugh.

Rin: What is it?

Len: I just realized I should've asked them to get a cake.

Miku: Don't worry about it, Len-kun. It's more satisfying to make one ourselves, anyway.

GUMI: (jumps up from behind the counter and splashes a bucket of water into Miku's face3) Gotcha! (looks at Miku for a moment, then widens her eyes in horror) AAAAH! Are you all right? I meant that for the twins.

Rin and Len: (pop in on Miku and GUMI) You WHAT?

GUMI: Oh, no. Now comes the part where you two scream and chase me down the streets with your road roller, right? (cut to Rin and Len chasing GUMI down the street in their road roller at full speed)

Rin, Len, and GUMI: AAGH! NOT THE FACE! GET BACK HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A ROBOT! CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE? I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BUILT! Hey, I can see my house from here. WE'LL TEAR YOU APART, THEN PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER, AND THEN TEAR YOU APART AGAIN! WHY ME? OH, GOD! etc.

1 The TV remote's brand name is "Transmit".

2 Rin and Len Kagamine were released on December 27, 2007. They are the second installment of the Vocaloid Character Vocal Series developed by Crypton Future Media Ltd.

3 The bucket is labeled "Bringing the Rain".


	37. A Star is Born

A Star is Born

(scene of Luka on a computer1 at a library)

Text on Screen: …and in other news, the rising pop star known as Lily2 is now a free agent. Many fans speculate her to begin working for Crypton Studios for at least a year, but she has neither confirmed nor denied such speculations.

Luka: (I'd sure like to meet with her, sometime.)

Gakupo: (pops in on Luka) Ah, Luka. I thought I'd find you he—(Luka, startled, slaps him in the face with a book3) D'oh! (stumbles back a bit)

Luka: (relieved) Oh, it's just you, Gakupo. What are you doing here? I thought you were with the others back at Crypton Studios.

Gakupo: I was until some upstart newcomer came into the building, acting like she owned the place, and threw me out the door of my office.

Luka: Let me guess. It was Lily, wasn't it?

Gakupo: How did you know?

Luka: There's been a lot of speculation that she might start working for Crypton Studios sometime in the near future. She has been big news in the music world, you know.

Gakupo: I don't give a damn about how good she is; if she doesn't clean up her act and cooperate with our terms, she'll never set foot inside that residence building again. She's probably lording over the others even as we speak.

(cut to Lily and Miku playing Soul Calibur IV at the arcade4 while Rin and Len watch; Lily plays as Voldo while Miku plays as Talim)

Lily: Not bad for an amateur.

Miku: You're pretty good, yourself, Lily-san.

Lily: Please, just call me Lily.

1 There's a sticker on the computer monitor that reads "Tower".

2 Lily was released by INTERNET Co., Ltd. on August 25, 2010. Her voice source is the lead vocalist of m.o.v.e, Yuri Masuda.

3 The book's title is "The Tailor Shop at Enbizaka".

4 Lily's username is "GAMBLE RUMBLE". Miku's username is "Electric Angel".


	38. Whiteout

Whiteout

(scene of Neru and Teto walking to Crypton Studios on a snowy night; Teto is holding a box with a ribbon1)

Neru: Uh, maybe we shouldn't bother them. It's late.

Teto: No, Neru. I didn't get Miku and the twins a Christmas present last year, and I'm not about to make that mistake again.

Neru: (sarcastically) Right. As I recall, you did get them a present last year.

Teto: What was it?

Neru: Well… (fade to white, then from white to Len holding a bottle of Wite-Out; Miku, Rin, Neru, and Teto sit nearby)

Len: Gee, uh…thanks, Teto.

Teto: Hey, I didn't know what you wanted, and I couldn't think of anything else to get you, so I just picked out something with my eyes closed. I'm sorry.

Miku: That's okay, Teto-chan. It's the thought that counts.

Rin: Unless there really was no thought in this present you got us, Teto. (takes the bottle from Len) On the other hand… (takes the bottle and runs off to her room)

Teto: What do you think she'll do with it?

Len: If I know my sister—and I think I do—she'll probably paint her face with it or something.

Neru: I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to paint your whole room with it. (clock wipe to Miku, Len, neru, and Teto staring at Rin with Wite-Out all over her face)

Rin: What do you think? Does this make great face paint or what?

Len: Aren't you worried about the toxic fumes from that stuff?

Rin: What toxic…? (blinks several times, then collapses with spirals for eyes) (fade to white, then from white to Neru and Teto walking to Crypton Studios)

Teto: It's not my fault Rin tried using it as face paint.

Neru: Of course not, Teto. It's the thought that counts. We've heard it from Miku before. So…what did you get them this time?

Teto: Why should I tell you?

Miki: (suddenly pops out from behind a lamp post) YAAAAAAAAAA! (Neru and Teto stare blankly at Miki for a few seconds) (disappointed) What is this, an audience or an art museum? (Neru and Teto stare blankly at Miki while she jumps all around them) (fast-paced) Okay, so you're walking down the street to a friend's place, right? That sounds like fun. What's the occasion? Is it one of those holidays you humans celebrate every year where you go around ad give presents to other—hey, is that snow? Oh my god! It has to be snow! It's white and cold and fluffy and soft and cold and—oh, wait a minute. I said "cold" twice. Sorry. (stops jumping around) (normally) So, where are you two headed?

1 The ribbon has a tag that said "Re: Package".


	39. Musical Swords

Musical Swords

(scene of Gakupo practicing swordsmanship in his office; he lowers his sword and sheathes it)

Gakupo: (That's enough practice for today. Now, back to…ugh…back to work.) (hears knocking on the door) Come in.

GUMI: (enters Gakupo's office) Hey, Gakupo.

Gakupo: Oh, hello, GUMI. What brings you here?

GUMI: Well, I thought I'd check up on you and see how your paperwork is coming along.

Gakupo: Oh, just the usual bills, accounting, taxes, and whatnot. Being a manager is a lot of hard work.

GUMI: So I figured. Thank God I don't have to worry about that.

Gakupo: True, but doesn't being a robot bring up your own share of problems?

GUMI: Now that you mention it, it does. (fade to white, then from white to a slideshow of GUMI and Black Rock Shooter) Before Black Rock Shooter installed my personality program, she subjected me to all manner of experiments to test my abilities. Filling my teeth with weapons-grade uranium? That was one thing. Submerging me in a giant tank of frigid water? That was another. Not thinking twice about how I'd react to all the horrible memories of those tests once my personality program was installed? That was the last straw.

Gakupo: How could you react so negatively to everything your creator did to you if it was all behind you?

GUMI: Think of my running away from Black Rock Shooter's base as an explosion from a bomb; the bomb doesn't go off until something lights its fuse.

Gakupo: And let me guess. Your personality program was what "lit the fuse"?

GUMI: Not exactly; it was more of a combination of that and all my memories.

Gakupo: Oh, I see. (fade to white, then from white to Gakupo and GUMI in Gakupo's office) Well, just be thankful you don't have to worry about that anymore.

GUMI: Thanks, Gakupo. You guys make me feel like I'm more than just a hunk of metal, which reminds me… (takes a nodachi1 off of her back and hands it to Gakupo) A certain somebody wanted you to have this, and by "a certain somebody", I mean—

Gakupo: (awestruck and excited) Oh my goodness. (takes the nodachi in his hands and unsheathes it, letting the scabbard fall to the floor) Whoever gave me this sword, I should thank personally. (starts waving the nodachi around) Now, I can really show everyone what I can do.

GUMI: (steps back, worried) Careful with that thing, Gakupo. It's not a toy.

Gakupo: I know it's not a toy, but doesn't that—? (accidentally sticks the nodachi in the ceiling, then slowly looks up) Uh…I can fix that.

1 A nodachi is a large two-handed Japanese sword. Nodachi approximately translates to "field sword". The sword was carried by foot soldiers and was designed as a weapon for war versus cavalry and open field engagements. This nodachi's scabbard is labeled "Fool Foot Samurai".


	40. One Sided Triangle

One-Sided Triangle

(scene of Meiko and Miku at a small table in a park; Miku has a leek stuck in her mouth)

Meiko: So, Miku, (holds up a cup of sake1) it's been a while since I went to Hokkaido with Luka to see her grandparents and stuff. What have you been up to lately? (notices the leek stuck in Miku's mouth)

Miku: (muffled) Oh, nothing much. There's a new singer in town. She came by Crypton Studios the other day to visit.

Meiko: (sweatdrops) Huh?

Miku: (muffled) Oh, sorry. (the leek disappears into Miku's mouth as Miku finishes eating) (normally) I forgot I had that leek in my mouth for a moment there. Anyway, as I was saying, there's a new singer in town. She came by Crypton Studios the other day to visit.

Meiko: And what might her name be, I ask?

Miku: She calls herself Lily. She seemed really nice, especially to Kaito-san, the twins, and me. Gakupo-san tried to get her to come to business terms with him, but she refused, saying she was just there to visit.

Meiko: Just like Gakupo to try and eliminate competition, huh? And speaking of Kaito and the twins, what have they been up to? Did you ever get the chance to tell Kaito your feelings for him? Has Rin and Len's birthday passed yet?

Miku: To answer your question, no, Rin-chan and Len-kun's birthday isn't for another three months or so, and—wait. What's this about my (blushes nervously) feelings for Kaito-san?

Meiko: Oh, don't even try to deny it, Miku. You've had your eyes on him ever since you two met, but you never got the courage to stand up to him and confess, not that it would do you any good.

Miku: Huh? Are you saying…?

Meiko: …that I have feelings for Kaito as well? (laughs uproariously and slams the cup on the table repeatedly, spilling sake everywhere) Of course, Miku; I've known that big lunkhead ever since grade school, and no matter how many times I told him, he never got it. (leans back and puts her feet on the table) Oh, but it's so much fun trying—WHOA! (falls out of her seat and lands on the ground head first)

Miku: (alarmed) Meiko-san! (gets out of her seat and walks over to Meiko) Meiko-san, are you alright?

Meiko: (mutters angrily to herself while clutching her head)

1 The cup has a label that reads "One Cup Ozeki".


	41. Not Quite So Inconvenient Truths

Not Quite So Inconvenient Truths

(scene of Luka and Yuki buying various items at a convenience store)

Cashier: Your total comes to ¥3500, ladies.

Yuki: Whoa, mister. You must be having a sale.

Cashier: Thank you. Have a nice day. (Luka and Yuki leave the convenience store1)

Luka: You didn't have to say that, you know.

Yuki: But that man just seemed so nice, and I thought I could return the favor.

Luka: So I see.

Yuki: I mean you and Hatsune-san and Hiyama-sensei and everybody else have done so much for me since mommy and daddy came here with me for the summer. I never thought I would make such great friends as you guys. It's a real shame I'll have to go back home to Nagano soon. (looks down and frowns)

Luka: Nagano? Isn't that in the Chūbu prefecture2?

Yuki: Where's that?

Luka: It's just to the west of the Kantō prefecture.

Yuki: (her face lights up) You mean I can still come visit you whenever I want after I go home?

Luka: Well, not exactly, but from what I know, Nagano is fairly close to Tokyo, so you can come and visit us whenever you have the time and money.

Yuki: Wow. And to think I never learned that in school.

Luka: Don't worry; you'll learn all you need to know soon enough.

1 A sign on the door says "Return to Zero #1".

2 There are eight prefectures in Japan. Tokyo is in the Kantō prefecture.


	42. It's What We Do Best

It's What We Do Best

(scene of Kaito, Rin, and Len at a karaoke bar; Kaito is holding the microphone while Rin and Len look on)

Kaito: (singing) _I just hope one day, he will find a way  
__To restore all that was lost to our sad eyes.  
Now all I can do is wait for morning to renew  
Here, beneath this bleak and barren sky._

Rin: (sniff) That was beautiful…

Len: (wipes a tear from his eye) I think… I think there's something in my eye…

Kaito: Oh, thanks. (the karaoke machine displays Kaito's score, 96) 96.

Len: That must be a new record.

Kaito: Not really; I haven't heard—much less sung—that song in months. (clock wipe to Rin holding the microphone while Kaito and Len look on)

Rin: (singing) _Here we go. Here we go.  
Come on, Pink Spider!  
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.  
Here we go. Here we go.  
Come on, Pink Spider!  
The world that you see now…  
The world that you see here  
Belongs to you._

Len: I thought you said you hated that song.

Rin: What? Can't a girl change her mind? (smiles; the karaoke machine displays Rin's score, 88)

Kaito: 88. That's pretty good.

Rin: (turns around and frowns) What? 88? This thing's broken. (hands the microphone to Len, who chooses "Random")

Text on Screen: (Len is unable to follow as the text flashes very quickly) _When I was born I realized that I was just copying as a human being  
But I kept singing as a VOCALOID  
I didn't care if I'm a toy sings over someone's song  
I bit my green onion and decided to sing  
But I realized that I have no heart without singing  
And I can never go back where I used be  
When everyone forgot me: I lost my mind  
What I saw in the end is broken world VOCALOID—_ (Len passes out; the karaoke machine cuts off the song and displays Len's score, 0)

Kaito: Len? Len, are you okay?

Len: (moans weakly with spirals for eyes)

Rin: I think we broke him…


	43. Reporting In

Reporting In

(scene of Kiyoteru grading papers1 at a library)

Kiyoteru: (thinking) I'm impressed; all these papers are great so far. If this keeps up, I may just let them out early.

Teto: (pops in) Hi there, sir.

Kiyoteru: Oh, hello. You must be Teto Kasane. Miku told me quite a bit about you and your friend, Neru, the other day.

Teto: Too bad all I know about you is that you were Miku's music teacher a few years ago. I wanted to do a report on you for a project at high school.

Kiyoteru: You mean like an interview?

Teto: Exactly. (sits down beside Kiyoteru) Hiyama-sensei, you claim to be a great singer yet you've stuck to being a music teacher. What motivated you to start teaching in the first place?

Kiyoteru: Well, I never was one for the spotlight, and I always had an affinity for study. So rather than become a singer, I became a music teacher.

Teto: Isn't it stressful?

Kiyoteru: Not as stressful as being a singer, I imagine. I mean the money's not as good as it could be, but it just feels like it's the right thing for me to do.

Teto: Yeah, I can relate. Before Miku became an idol, I had tried out a bunch of Get Rich Quick schemes, none of which worked. Eventually, I decided to just move on with my life and let fate take its course. Who'd have thought it would take me back where I started?

Kiyoteru: What do you mean?

Teto: Well, Miku's a shining star now, but she hasn't forgotten about Neru and me. In fact, she even invited us to sing along with her once, but Neru refused. She said something about being afraid of becoming some kind of snob.

Kiyoteru: A snob? Her? I thought she already was one?

Neru: (pops in) What was that? Say that again. I dare you.

1 One of the papers is titled "Fire◎Flower".


	44. Until Someone Gets Panned

Until Someone Gets Panned

(scene of Black Rock Shooter in her lab, staring at a computer monitor, which shows footage of Miki talking to Kiyoteru)

Miki: (on the monitor) (jumps all around Kiyoteru and his bike) So, I hear you used to work for Black Rock Shooter, huh? (fast-paced) What kind of work did you do? Did you get any cool gadgets? Did you go on any awesome missions? Did you see any space aliens? No? What about zombies? No? And rogue robots? No? Mutant sharks? No? Geez, that's too bad. I was really hoping you'd be into this kind of—(notices Kiyoteru's bike) hey! Where'd you get that bike?

Black Rock Shooter: (It looks like she's taking to society better than I expected.)

Lily: (wandering in, realizes she's at the wrong place1) I swear that idiot was doing his best to make me late. (notices Black Rock Shooter) Oh, hello there. Who are y—(barely avoids a plasma blast from Black Rock Shooter) whoa! (the plasma bolt completely blackens someone standing nearby)

Black Rock Shooter: Oh, sorry. (puts away her plasma blaster) I've just felt a bit antsy since my last project escaped from my lab. I'm Black Rock Shooter, by the way.

Lily: Nice to meet you. Call me Lily; I never was big on code names. And before you ask, I'm trying to find my way to Crypton Studios to sign some kind of contract with the CEO, but I can't find the building to save my life, so I asked someone on the street for directions.

Black Rock Shooter: Wait a second. You asked a man on the street for directions to the Crypton Studios residence building and they led you here?

Lily: Yep.

Black Rock Shooter: Could you describe him for me?

Lily: Well… (fade to white, then from white to Akaito climbing out of the wreckage of a car)

Akaito: Ugh. Ouch. Whatever was I thinking?

Lily: Hey, sir. Could you direct me to the Crypt—?

Akaito: (points in the direction of a nearby park) That way. Make a right at the pond and stomp twice on the roots of one of the cherry trees.

Lily: Oh, uh…thank you. (starts to leave the area, then turns around) Oh, and by the way, do you have car insurance? (fade to white, then from white to Lily and Black Rock Shooter; Black Rock Shooter's eyes widen)

Black Rock Shooter: Oh, no…

Lily: What is it?

Black Rock Shooter: It's him. He's back.

Lily: Who's back?

1 Lily is holding a piece of paper that has the words "Feel My Soul" written on it.


	45. One Copycat to Another

One Copycat to Another

(scene of Lily reading a piece of sheet music1)

Lily: (clears her throat) _Through melodies around the world,  
My voice, to you, in song departs.  
But can you take it in right now?  
Does it reach into your heart?_

Miku: (walks in and notices Lily singing) _Through melodies around the world,  
My voice, to you, in song departs.  
But can you take it in right now?  
Does it reach into your heart?_

Lily: (stops singing) Oh, Miku. What are you doing here?

Miku: I'd like to say the same thing, Lily-san, but clearly I don't need to; you're singing one of my songs, aren't you?

Lily: What? (looks frantically at the sheet music) This? (hides the sheet music behind her back) Oh, uh, no. I was just—

Miku: It's okay.

Lily: What?

Miku: We've all sang different versions of each other's songs, Lily-san,2 especially that one song about this one person being in love with someone who loves someone else.

Lily: You mean "Love is War"? That song that all of you sang at once at that concert six months ago?

Miku: Yeah, that song. Teto actually wrote it, but before she could sing it to the rest of us, she caught a cold, so I sang it instead.

Lily: And what exactly do you say when someone asks you how you came up with the idea for it?

Miku: I tell them I didn't; Teto did.

Lily: What about your other friend Neru? Has she written anything?

Miku: Mostly self-parodying jokes about internet trolls.

Lily: Well, I have been in a bit of a slump lately. Maybe I could ask her to write something up for the both of us.

Miku: No thanks. I'm pretty sure I can come up with something myself.

1 The sheet music is titled "Packaged".

2 Many noteworthy Vocaloid songs have covers done by different Vocaloids.


	46. Flight of Fantasy

Flight of Fantasy

(scene of Len tying Rin to a giant kite1 while Meiko and Kaito look on)

Meiko: Should I even bother asking what you two are doing?

Len: Rin and I made a kite to donate to a local museum, but Rin somehow came up with the idea of flying it with me tied to it.

Rin: Yeah, but Len wouldn't do it, so I convinced him to tie me to the kite instead, kind of like the story about that exiled samurai.

Meiko: You mean the story of the samurai who was sent into exile and sent his son to the mainland aloft on a kite? I remember that story; it kind of reminds me of that one song Kaito wrote a while back.

Kaito: Oh, you mean that song about the old radio and the robot2?

Meiko: Yeah. It was a real tear jerker, almost as much as some of the twins' songs, especially their latest.

Kaito: You don't say. I've heard their songs myself, and I thought they were a bit happier than that.

Len: Wait until you see what happens in the end.

Meiko and Kaito: Oh, don't spoil it.

Rin: (from up in the air) Speaking of seeing, I can see my house from here! Come on up! The sky is great!

Len: (runs over and grabs the kite string) How did you get up there by yourself so quickly, Rin?

Rin: (from up in the air) Got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

1 The kite has some text on one side that reads "Bluebird of Desert".

2 He's referring to the song "Old Radio".


	47. Eat Your Heart Out, Walt

Eat Your Heart Out, Walt

* * *

Meiko's Dream

(scene of Meiko driving down an open street; in her car, Meiko has what appears to be an exotic carpet in the back seat)

Meiko: Well, Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and I know exactly who to give this to. (fade to Kaito and Meiko riding a flying carpet)

Kaito:_ I can show you the world,  
Shining, shimmering, splendid.  
Tell me, princess, now when did  
You last let your heart decide?_

_I can open your eyes,  
Take you wonder by wonder,  
Over, sideways and under  
On a magic carpet ride._

_A whole new world,  
A new fantastic point of view.  
No one to tell us no  
Or where to go  
Or say we're only dreaming._

Meiko: _A whole new world,  
A dazzling place I never knew.  
But when I'm way up here,  
It's crystal clear  
That now I'm in a whole new world with you._

Kaito: _Now I'm in a whole new world with you._

Meiko: _Unbelievable sights!  
Indescribable feeling!  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
Through an endless diamond sky!_

_A whole new world._

Kaito:_ Don't you dare close your eyes._

Meiko:_ A hundred thousand things to see._

Kaito:_ Hold your breath; it gets better._

Meiko:_ I'm like a shooting star.  
I've come so far.  
I can't go back to where I used to be._

Kaito:_ A whole new world._

Meiko:_ Every turn a surprise._

Kaito:_ With new horizons to pursue._

Meiko:_ Every moment red-letter._

Meiko and Kaito:_ I'll chase them anywhere;  
There's time to spare.  
Let me share this whole new world with you._

_A whole new world,  
That's where we'll be.  
A thrilling chase,  
A wondrous place  
For you and me._

(suddenly, a car horn sounds; cut to Meiko snapping out of her daydream and noticing a car coming straight at her)

Meiko: AAAAGH! (swerves her car out of the way, hitting a nearby lamppost; the airbag goes off in Meiko's face) Ugh. I've got to get outside more often…

* * *

Kaito's Wish

(scene of Kaito, Miku, and Kiyoteru in a recording booth; Miku steps out as Kaito starts talking)

Kaito: Well, it's almost time for Halloween, isn't it?

Kiyoteru: Indeed, Kaito.

Kaito: What are you going as, this year?

Miku: Well, I think I'll go as…uh…a witch.

Kaito: With a giant leek for a broomstick, I presume?

Miku: Exactly. What about you, Kaito-san?

Kaito: Geez, I don't know. I guess I'll go as an ice cream truck driver.

Kiyoteru: Both very valid costume choices, (takes off his glasses and puts them away) but guess who I'm going as.

Miku: Who?

Kiyoteru: Here's a hint.

_Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves.  
Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales.  
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves,  
You got a brand of magic never fails.  
You got some power in your corner now,  
Some heavy ammunition in your camp.  
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how!  
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp  
And I'll say_

"_Mister Aladdin, sir  
What will your pleasure be?  
Let me take your order,  
Jot it down.  
You ain't never had a friend like me."  
Ho ho ho._

_Life is your restaurant  
And I'm your maitre d'!  
C'mon whisper what it is you want;  
You ain't never had a friend like me._

_Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service.  
You're the boss, the king, the shah!  
Say what you wish.  
It's yours! True dish.  
How about a little more Baklava?_

_Have some of column "A".  
Try all of column "B".  
I'm in the mood to help you dude;  
You ain't never had a friend like me._

_Can your friends do this?  
Do your friends do that?  
Do your friends pull this out their little hat?  
Can your friends go, poof?  
Well, looky here.  
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip  
And then make the sucker disappear?_

_So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed.  
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers.  
You got me bona fide, certified.  
You got a genie for your chare d'affaires.  
I got a powerful urge to help you out,  
So what-cha wish? I really wanna know  
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt  
Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh_

"_Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three.  
I'm on the job, you big nabob."  
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend  
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend  
You ain't never had a friend like me!  
You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!_

Kaito: (stares awestruck while Miku claps) You're going as the genie from _Alladin_? Uh, that's great and all, but…how did you just do all of that?

* * *

Yuki's Happy Day

(scene of Len and Yuki in a park; a giant cake slowly creeps up behind them)

Yuki: Are you sure you saw your sister go this way, Len-kun?

Len: Well, she said something about a big surprise for your birthday—which I only recently found out is today—and tore out of the building, so either she's here or in the middle of deep space.

Voices: (muffled) _Come one, come all  
Leave your looms and milking stools,  
Coop the hens and pen the mules._

Len: Did you say something?

Yuki: No. (suddenly notices the cake) Hey, where'd that cake come from?

Voices: (muffled) _Come one, come all.  
Close the churches and the schools;  
It's the day for breaking rules._

Len: Hey, those voices. I think they're coming from…

Voices: (muffled) _Come and join the Feast of__…_ (suddenly, a host of performers led by Rin in a bizarre jester's outfit pops out of the cake)

Performers: _Fools!_ (all jump down from what's left of the cake and start singing and dancing; Yuki stares in awe)

Len: (flabbergasted) Rin? Is that you?

Rin:_ Once a year we throw a party, here in town.  
Once a year we turn all Tokyo upside down.  
Every man's a king and every king's a clown.  
Once again, it's Topsy Turvy Day!  
It's the day the devil in us gets released.  
It's the day we mock the pig and shock the priest.  
Everything is topsy turvy at the Feast of Fools!_

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: Everything is upsy-daisy!

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: Everyone is acting crazy!

_Dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet!  
That's the way on Topsy Turvy Day!_

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: Beat the drums and blow the trumpets!

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: Join the bums and theives and strumpets  
_Streaming in from Sendai to Mine!_

_Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy  
on the 6th of January  
all because it's Topsy Turvy Day!_

Len: Rin Kagamine, what the hell are you doing?

Rin: Celebrating Yuki-chan's birthday, of course. Come on! (grabs Len by the hair and drags him into the crowd) Join in the fun!

Len: (struggling weakly) Ow, ow, ow, ow! Hey, not the hair! Not the hair!

Rin: _Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for!  
Here it is! You know exactly what's in store!  
Now's the time we laugh until our sides get sore!  
Now's the time we crown the King of Fools!_

_So make a face that's horrible and frightening!  
Make a face as gruesome as a gargoyle's wing!  
For the face that's ugliest will be the King of Fools!  
_Why?

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: Ugly folk, forget your shyness.

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: You could soon be called "Your Highness"

_Put the foulest features on display!  
Be the king of Topsy Turvy Day!  
Everybody!_

_Once a year we throw a party, here in town.  
Once a year we turn all Tokyo upside down.  
Once a year the ugliest will wear a crown.  
Once a year on Topsy Turvy Day!_

(yanks masks off different performers and kicks them off the table, eventually coming down to Len and pulling his hair)

Len: Ow! I told you, not the hair!

Rin: Hail to the king!

Len: What? (Rin puts a paper crown on Len's head) Hey! I'm not—

Rin: Oh, what a king.  
Girls, give a kiss.  
We've never had a king like this.

_And it's the day we do the things that we deplore  
on the other three hundred and sixty-four.  
Once a year we love to drop in, where the beer is never stoppin'  
For the chance to pop some popinjay  
And pick a king who'll put the top in Topsy Turvy Day!_

Performers: Topsy Turvy!

Rin: _Mad and crazy,upsy-daisy,Topsy Turvy Day!

* * *

_

Gakupo's Class

(scene of Gakupo in a dojo with other students, including GUMI)

Gakupo: (thinking) Another day, another kendo session. (notices music playing) Where's that music coming from?

Master: _Let's get down to business  
To defeat the Huns._

Gakupo: (thinking) Wait, what?

Master: _Did they send me daughters  
when I asked for sons?  
You're the saddest bunch I ever met,  
But you can bet before we're through,  
Mister, I'll make a man out of you._

_Tranquil as a forest  
But on fire within.  
Once you find your center,  
you are sure to win.  
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot  
And you haven't got a clue.  
Somehow I'll make a man out of you._

Student #5: _I'm never gonna catch my breath._

Student #2: _Say good-bye to those who knew me._

Student #9: _Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym._

Gakupo: _This guy's got 'em scared to death._

GUMI: _Hope he doesn't see right through me._

Student #3:_ Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!_

Master: _(Be a man)  
We must be swift as the coursing river  
(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great typhoon  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon._

_Time is racing toward us  
till the Huns arrive.  
Heed my every order  
and you might survive.  
You're unsuited for the rage of war  
So pack up. Go 're through.  
How could I make a man out of you?_

_(Be a man)  
We must be swift as the coursing river  
(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great typhoon  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon._

All:_ (Be a man)  
We must be swift as the Coursing river  
(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great typhoon  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

GUMI: (thinking) Nice montage.

* * *

Luka's Idea

(scene of Luka reading a book1 in her room)

Luka: (thinking) Ugh, I just can't think of a new song to write. Maybe this'll help me clear my head a bit.

(in her head) _Look at this stuff.  
Isn't it neat?  
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?  
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl,  
The girl who has everything?  
Look at this trove.  
Treasures untold.  
How many wonders can one cavern hold?  
Looking around here you think.  
Sure, she's got everything.  
I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty.  
I've got whozits and whatzits galore.  
You want thingamabobs?  
I've got twenty!  
But who cares?  
No big deal.  
I want more__…_

_I wanna be where the people are.  
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'.  
Walking around on those - what do you call 'em?  
Oh - feet!_

_Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far.  
Legs are required for jumping, dancing.  
Strolling along down a - what's that word again?  
Street._

_Up where they walk, up where they run,  
Up where they stay all day in the sun,  
Wanderin' free - wish I could be  
Part of that world._

_What would I give if I could live out of these waters?  
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?  
Bet'cha on land they understand,  
That they don't reprimand their daughters,  
Proper women sick of swimmin',  
Ready to stand._

_And ready to know what the people know,  
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers.  
What's a fire and why does it - what's the word?  
Burn?_

_When's it my turn?  
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above?  
Out of the sea,  
Wish I could be  
Part of that world__…_

(suddenly drops the book; her face lights up as if struck by inspiration) That's it. It's perfect! (runs out of her room, leaving the book behind)

1 The book is titled "The Little Mermaid".


	48. Power to You

Power to You

(scene of Neru watching TV in the main room of the Vocaloid suite)1

Neru: (changes the channel several times) (thinking) Geez, is there anything good on TV anymore?

Miku: (walks in, noticing Neru in front of the TV) Hi there, Neru-chan.

Neru: (turns to face Miku) Oh hi there, Miku. What brings you—huh? (notices Miku's hair is straight down) Wait a second. What happened to your hair barrettes?

Miku: I put them away. I'm trying to find the last few pieces for my Halloween costume.

Neru: And just what are you going as, anyway?

Miku: Well, I originally thought about going as a witch, but I guess I'm too old for that now. Meiko-san and Kaito-san think it's kind of cute, but Gakupo-san just laughs every time I mention it.

Neru: Nonsense. Take it from me, Miku; you're never too old to be a kid.

Miku: What do you mean?

Neru: It's kind of like this: say you're ready to go to a costume party but the only costume idea you have is for something you consider very childish. If that's all you can think of, then by all means use it. I mean it's not like anybody's going to make fun of you for… (notices Miku reading a packet of papers)

Miku: (reading) "…a Hikyou Sentai Urotander fanfiction. Chapter 1: It's Been Too Long. It was a bright and sunny spring morning in scenic Osaka, Japan, and Urotander, having dissolved the corrupt Justice Force—"

Neru: (grabs the papers from Miku's hands and shreds them up hurriedly) GAAAAH!

Miku: What's wrong? I liked it.

Neru: You did?

Miku: Yeah.

Neru: (pauses for a moment, then widens her eyes in panic, hurriedly picks up the shredded bits of paper, and tries to put them all together) GAAAAAAH!

1 The title of the show being broadcast is "Tsuki-Yuki-Hana."


	49. Up, Up, and Away

Up, Up, and Away

(scene of Luka, Gakupo, and GUMI on a plane; Luka is reading a book, Gakupo is in deep thought, and GUMI is looking at a laptop)

Gakupo: (turns his eyes to Luka and breathes a deep sigh) (under his breath) Luka…

Luka: (looks at Gakupo) What is it?

Gakupo: (snaps out of his apparent trance) Oh, nothing. I was just admiring the way you read that book like such a dedicated woman.

Luka: Thanks, but don't think flattery will get you anywhere with me. (turns back to her book)

Gakupo: You're right, but what about this? (closes his eyes and leans in to kiss Luka on the cheek)

GUMI: (facepalms at the sight of a group of people dancing to and singing "Megu Megu Fire Endless Night" on Nico Nico Douga) Ugh, this is embarrassing…

Gakupo: (pulls himself away from Luka and turns toward GUMI) What's embarrassing? (notices the people dancing to the music) Oh, don't sweat it.

GUMI: Gakupo, I know you humans have an inherent ability to make yourselves look dumber than they actually are, but why do you have to do it to other people?

Gakupo: It's called performing a cover, and what's it to you, GUMI? You're a robot.

GUMI: That's not the point. The point is that these people are making a mockery out of me and everybody else in our— (notices Yuki being lifted up by her legs several rows ahead) what the…?

Gakupo: Huh?

(cut to Rin holding Yuki up by her legs and laughing giddily; Yuki is screaming at Rin to put her down)

Len: Rin, be careful.

Rin: (suddenly loses her balance and starts to fall) Whoaoaoaoaaaaa!

Miku: (dives across the aisle to catch Rin and Yuki) YUKI-CHAN! (crashes into Rin and Len, sending them all sprawling on the floor; Yuki lands safely back in her seat)

Yuki: (panting heavily) Don't ever do that again.


	50. But It's Not Broken

But It's Not Broken

(scene of Kaito sitting on a bench with an ice cream cone1 in his hand; Miku walks up beside him)

Miku: Kaito-san.

Kaito: (turns his attention to Miku) Yes?

Miku: Do you ever wonder why we're here?

Kaito: You know, Miku, I used to only care about the next time I got to eat anything, but after all that's happened, you know what I've learned? I've learned that there's more to life than fame and fortune. In fact, there's more to life than even friends and family. It's not just about who's who and what's where, and you shouldn't like or dislike someone just because it's inconvenient for you. I mean you should like or dislike someone because he or she is someone you know, someone you see every day. But the big question is what is there more to life of? Is God really still working on his creations or are we just pieces of an endless autonomous cycle? I don't know, Miku, but it keeps me up at night.

Miku: …I meant why are we out here beside this bench when we could be walking back to Crypton Studios and hanging out with the others?

Kaito: Oh yeah, right. Let's go, then. (gets up and starts walking alongside Miku, whose face starts turning red)

Miku: (Okay, Miku. You can do this. You just need to calm down, take a deep breath, and—) (notices Rin and Len walking by) (Oh. What are Rin-chan and Len-kun doing here?)

(cut to Rin and Len looking at Kaito and Miku in the distance)

Rin: What are they doing?

Len: How should I know? It's not like I have super hearing or anything. (eyes Kaito suspiciously) (I hope he doesn't know yet. Miku certainly doesn't know about me.)

Rin: Did you say something?

Len: (nervously) What, me? No. I didn't say anything. Why would you suspect me of saying anything?

Rin: (chuckles) And here I thought we would do some sort of big revelation scene for our 50th short.

Len: Short? What short?

Rin: Oh, never mind. It's not like the audience really cares about this whole love triangle garbage anymore.

1 The wrapper has the words "Japanese Banquet Song" written on it.


	51. Alive Without Breath

Alive Without Breath

(scene of Meiko, Luka, and GUMI sitting by the side of a lake; Meiko is holding a bottle of sake1, Luka is holding a fishing rod, and GUMI is holding a pencil and clipboard)

GUMI: (to herself while writing) _Liftoff.  
Off it goes up in the sky to leave behind a rainbow arch.  
And suddenly, the sun will come and everything will rearrange.  
All I have to do is run right through that arch with everything I've got.  
Deep in my heart, I just know something will change._

Meiko: (raises the bottle to her lips, then pauses and looks at GUMI) Hey, that's a nice song.

GUMI: Not really. I'm still working on it. I haven't been singing as long as the rest of you have. This kind of thing doesn't come naturally to me like it does to humans like you.

Meiko: (chuckles) Believe it or not, GUMI, it doesn't come naturally to me either; back when I was in grade school, if it wasn't for Kaito tutoring me, I would've failed music class.

GUMI: Kaito tutored you? But he looks to be roughly the same age as you.

Meiko: He is, but that didn't stop him. (fade to white, then from white to scene of a much younger Meiko and Kaito in an empty room; Meiko is standing on a stage while Kaito has his eyes shut and his hands over his ears)

Meiko: (off key) _And now, like clear pearls falling to the ground,  
The tears you cry come in a rush. (In a rush)  
It's a tragedy, but I don't really care;  
I just want to be with you now._

Kaito: (strained) Mei-chan, please stop!

Meiko: (stops "singing") What's the matter? Did I mess up? (Kaito nods nervously with his eyes still closed and his ears still covered, prompting Meiko to kick the ground) It's useless. I'll never pass music class at this rate. (angrily sits down with her arms folded)

Kaito: (opens his eyes and uncovers his ears) Don't be so upset, Mei-chan. There's still plenty of time to make it up. Besides, you are improving.

Meiko: How can you tell? It's not like you have perfect pitch or anything.

Kaito: Actually, I do, but that's beside the point. The point is that if you love doing something, you can't just give up; you need to keep trying. (Meiko looks up at Kaito) Now I'm not sure what you're going through since I was as good as I am pretty much from the start, but if others worked hard for their place in this class, then you have to at least try. (Meiko thinks about this for a moment)

Meiko: (stands up) Then I'll give it my all.

Kaito: That's the spirit. (fade to white, then from white to Meiko and GUMI talking)

GUMI: Wow. I never realized how much effort you put into your work.

Meiko: Well, you do now.

Luka: (feels a tug on her fishing rod; the bobber sinks beneath the water, prompting Luka to start reeling in) Whoa! I've got a live one here! (struggling to pull in the lure) RRGH! Oh, this is a really big one. I could use some help!

GUMI: Leave it to me. (takes the rod in her hands and pulls with all her might; a gigantic tuna-like fish flies out of the water and lands on a very surprised and alarmed Luka) Whoa! That's the biggest fish I've ever seen!

Meiko: Oho, this'll be quite a treat tonight, eh, Luka? (looks around) Luka?

Luka: (weakly) I…can't…breathe…

1 The bottle is labeled "Snow Flower," the fishing rod is labeled "Double Lariat," and the clipboard is labeled "Not for Eating."


	52. The Birds and the Bees

The Birds and the Bees

(scene of Rin, Len, and Miki walking through a park; one of the objects they come across is a bench1)

Miki: And that's the story of how my dad stopped that meteor shower and saved our homeworld. The end.

Len: Miki, that was the longest story I ever heard, and I don't think I believed a word of it. (notices a rustling noise nearby) Did you hear that?

Rin: What is it?

Miki: I don't know. Geez, you humans are so paranoid.

Rin: He's just doing that for attention. Ignore him.

Len: No, seriously. I thought I just heard rustling noises nearby—(notices the rustling again and looks around nervously) I don't like the sound of that…

Rin: Oh, come on, Len. Don't be such a worrywart. What could happen? (suddenly, a swarm of angry bees appears out of nowhere and swarms around Rin's head, prompting Rin to run for her life)

Miki: (excitedly) Ooh! Look at that! (points at a bird perched in a tree) What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?

Rin: (runs by, flailing her arms all around her head) AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (the bees chase Rin in an arrow pattern)

Len: Oh, that? I don't know. A blue and white flycatcher2, maybe?

Rin: (runs by, flailing her arms all around her head) AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (the bees chase Rin in a shark pattern)

Miki: Oh, I've always wanted to see one of those. (pauses awkwardly) What's a blue and white flycatcher again? Some kind of gadget that you humans are too disorganized to come up with?

Rin: (runs by, flailing her arms all around her head) AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (the bees chase Rin in a swirly pattern)

1 The bench has graffiti sprayed on it that reads "Stardust."

2 The blue and white flycatcher is a migratory songbird that breeds in Japan, Korea, and in parts of China and Russia and winters in South East Asia, especially in Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Sumatra and Borneo. Its current conservation status is least concern.


	53. Messages from the Fans

Messages from the Fans

(scene of Kaito reading a letter in his room)

Kaito: (reading) Dear Kaito, who do you love? Meiko or Miku? (to himself) Well, that's a tough one. (discards the letter, which is picked up by a mysterious figure)

Figure: Excuse me, sir. I believe this is yours.

Kaito: (notices Figure) Huh? Who are you?

Figure: Funny you should ask…uh…who are you?

Kaito: Oh, sorry. I'm Kaito Shion, but feel free to call me Kaito.

Figure: I'm…uh…er…what is my name? (panics) AAAAH! I can't remember anything!

Kaito: (astonished) You what?

Figure: (runs around in circles) Oh, what should I do? What can I do? I don't even know where to go. And what's more… (stops running around in circles and sits down on the floor) I'm kind of hungry…

Kaito: Hmm… (notices the letter's signature: Piko) Do you have any idea what happened?

Figure: No. All I remember is this letter, then this bright light, and then…nothing.

Kaito: You mean this letter? (shows the letter to Figure)

Figure: (recognizes the letter) Yes, but I don't know who wrote it. I'm not sure if it even existed.

Kaito: Huh? What do you mean? The letter's right— (notices that the letter is gone) Huh? How did that happen?

Figure: I don't know. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

Kaito: Well, I guess we just won't—huh? (notices that the letter is back) How is it doing that?


	54. In Love and War

In Love and War

(scene of Miku making a snow angel in a snow-covered field, grinning giddily)

Yuki: (walking in and noticing Miku) Oh, Hatsune-san, what a coincidence.

Miku: (stops making the snow angel and sits up) Oh hi, Yuki-chan. What brings you here?

Yuki: I was just walking to your place and I noticed you making a snow angel.

Miku: Of course. When I was your age, I'd do it every time it snowed—which, unfortunately, wasn't very often.

Yuki: I see. It's kind of funny since my name apparently means "snow," doesn't it?

Miku: Yes, it does. (gets pelted by a snowball) ACK!

Yuki: (alarmed) Where did that come from?

Meiko and Kaito: (popping out from behind a pair of trees with snowballs in their hands) CHAAAARGE!

Yuki: Hey! No fa—(gets pelted by several snowballs) AWK!

Meiko: Who said life was fair? (pelts Kaito with a snowball)

Kaito: Hey! I'm on your side!

Meiko: This is war; there are no sides. (pelts Kaito with another snowball; Kaito subsequently gets pelted by several more snowballs coming from different directions)

Rin and Len: (emerge from behind a bench and burst out laughing; get blasted by a stream of snow) AAGH!

GUMI: (emerges with a leaf blower in her hands) Take that, you little ankle biters! (turns on Meiko) And here's some for you too!

Meiko: (sputtering) Hey! No fair! How come you get a leaf blower?

Luka: (watching from a distance) (sigh) Some things never change, do they?

Gakupo: (watching from a distance) No, they don't. (looks up) Say, ever notice how beautiful snow is when it falls?

Luka: If you're trying to compare me to snow falling, I appreciate the kind gesture, but you might want to save it for Valentine's Day.

Gakupo: Why should I save it for Valentine's Day when it's Christmas? Speaking of which, I'd like to give you a little present.

Luka: (looks at Gakupo) And what would that be?

Gakupo: Just close your eyes, why don't you?

Luka: Okay. (closes her eyes)

Gakupo: (moves in to kiss Luka, then gets pelted by a snowball in the face and falls to the ground) ACKPTHBT!

Luka: What was that Gakupo? Gakupo? (opens one eye, then bursts out laughing) Looks like you lose again, Gakupo! (continues to laugh)

Gakupo: (disgruntled) Oh, shut up…


	55. Kagamine Forever

Kagamine Forever

(scene of Rin and Len in the main room of the Vocaloid's suite; Rin is sitting on the table, swinging her legs back and forth, while Len is reading a book1 on the couch)

Rin: (sigh) What a day…

Len: (stops reading and looks up at Rin) Huh?

Rin: It seems like just yesterday that we all sat around this table and sang to each other.

Len: How could I ever forget? You practically drowned yourself in your own tears after singing "Kokoro" to us, just like every other time you sing it.

Rin: You'd cry too if you sang such a beautiful song over and over again. Admit it.

Len: …Okay.

Rin: (puzzled) Huh? That's it? No "I'm not going to cry because I'm a man" nonsense?

Len: Rin, I was like that when we were 6. I'm not that kind of person anymore.

Rin: Oh, so you aren't. What day is it, anyway?

Len: Uh, the 27th?

Rin: (alarmed) OH MY GOD!

Len: What?

Rin: No wonder I couldn't find anybody in the building besides you!

Len: What?

Rin: (excitedly) Don't you see? Everybody else must've run off and hid to surprise us! At any moment, they're going to pop in out of nowhere, fireworks blazing, yelling "Happy Birthday!"

(cut to Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Gakupo, Luka, GUMI, Yuki, and Kiyoteru running every which way from bottle rockets flying in every direction)

Miku: (terrified) Run for your lives!

Gakupo: AAAAAAAAAH!

Kaito: Running, running, running!

Meiko: Whose bright idea was this?

Kiyoteru: I don't know; somebody must've set off all the fireworks at once!

GUMI: Don't look at me! How was I supposed to know that using a flamethrower to light the candles was a bad idea?

Meiko: Those were not candles!

1 The book is titled "The New Milennium."


	56. A Brief Intermission

A Brief Intermission

(scene of Miku and Len at a movie theater)

Characters on screen: _I knew you were forced to smile  
To hide every tear in your eyes.  
I choose just to say what I can  
As we both part ways and say our good-byes._

Len: (slowly putting his arm around Miku's shoulder unconsciously) Wow, Miku. I sure hope we never have to do that.

Miku: (not noticing Len's arm) What do you mean?

Len: I mean go apart, leave each other's company.

Miku: Why would I want to part ways with you and the others, Len-kun? I love hanging out with you all.

Len: (slightly blushing) Yeah. You love hanging out with us all… Me too. (tries to move away, but finds that his arm is stuck behind Miku)

Miku: Len-kun? What's wrong?

Len: (struggling to wrench his arm free) I don't know. I think my arm is stuck.

Miku: Let me see here… (notices Len's arm behind her and pokes at the space between it and the seat) Hey. Someone appears to have Krazy Glued your arm to my seat.

Len: Well, hurry up and get it off before something really bad happens.

Miku: I have just the thing. (takes out a bottle of nail polish remover1 and brushes some along Len's arm) Is it working?

Len: Not yet—wait. (manages to jiggle his arm partially free) I think I'm getting it. Almost… (breaks his arm free) Got it! (falls backwards) Whoa!

Miku: Len-kun! (dives to catch Len, but ends up landing on top of him, then hurriedly gets back up on her feet) Oh, Len-kun, are you okay?

Len: (blushing and sweating profusely) Y-y… I think so…

Miku: Good. (takes Len's hand and pulls him up; Len loses consciousness as Miku guides him to back to his seat) Now then, where were we? (sits down in her seat and resumes watching the movie)

Rin: (to herself) Ugh! So close!

1 The bottle has a label on it that reads "Your Voice Has a Magical Power."


	57. Dearly Beloved II

Dearly Beloved II

(scene of Meiko approaching Kaito's room with a box of chocolate in her hands)

Meiko: _I have some chocolate for Valentine's Day,  
But I don't know who I should give it to today.  
How about that boy?  
Or what about that boy?  
Uh, Umm…  
I have no idea._

Luka: Hi there, Meiko.

Meiko: (turns around to see Luka) Hi there, Luka. What brings you here?

Luka: Oh, the usual. Trying to keep Gakupo from going insane from all his paperwork and/or overboard with me and whatnot. I assume those chocolates in your hands are for Kaito, correct?

Meiko: Well, sort of.

Luka: What do you mean "sort of?"

Meiko: It is for Kaito, but it's not a box of chocolates.

Luka: It's not?

Meiko: Well, technically it is a box of chocolates, but there's no candy in it, just a bunch of springy snakes.

Luka: Springy snakes? Isn't it a little too early for April Fool's Day?

Meiko: Who said anything about April Fool's Day? I'm just trying to enjoy Kaito's obliviousness as long as I can.

Luka: Ah, so you still haven't told him after all this time?

Meiko: No, and I don't plan to, at least not unless I absolutely have to.

Kaito: (comes out of his room) Not unless you absolutely have to what, exactly?

Meiko: (startled, dropping the box) WHATSECRETTHATI'MINLOVEWITHYOUANDIHAVEN'?

Kaito: (chuckles) Oh, I've known the entire time, Meiko. I just acted the way I did because I thought you'd think it was funny, (starts beaming) and I was right.

Meiko: (starts blushing) I…I don't know what to say…

Kaito: There's no need to say anything, Meiko. Just close your eyes, open your heart, and wait for the moment of truth…

Meiko: Okay. (closes her eyes)

Kaito: (leans in to kiss Meiko, but suddenly notices the box on the floor) Ooh, a box of chocolates. (picks up the box and reads the label) Whoever got this for me, it was very nice of—(opens the box, releasing all the springy snakes in his face) GAAH! (Luka tries not to laugh, but ends up snickering)

Meiko: Uh, can I open my eyes yet? Whatever the moment of truth is, it's taking an awfully long time to happen.


	58. Teacher's Pest

Teacher's Pest

(scene of Kiyoteru sitting in front of his computer, humming "Fallen Verse"; he notices a link in an email and opens it, revealing a page on the Vocaloid Wiki)

Kiyoteru: (to himself) Ooh, what have we here? (opens a page on the Vocaloid Wiki) Vocaloid3 software? I wonder what that'll be like… (starts browsing the page) An English voicebank for the Hatsune Miku program? (Miku walks by and notices Kiyoteru at his computer) I thought they released that years ago.

Miku: Uh, Hiyama-sensei, who are you talking to?

Kiyoteru: (turns around and sees Miku) Oh, Miku. What brings you here?

Miku: I was walking by and I happened to notice you talking.

Kiyoteru: Oh, uh, I sometimes think out loud when I see interesting information.

Miku: (notices the webpage on Kiyoteru's computer monitor) Hey, what's…? (moves in closer and notices more details) Another English voice bank?

Kiyoteru: Don't blame me.

Miku: I don't blame you; I blame the designers. I never was very good in any of my English classes back in school1.

Kiyoteru: Let me guess. You wanted to become a singer so badly that you almost dropped English?

Miku: Pretty much. Math too.

Kiyoteru: Miku, I respect your devotion to your musical talent, but you have to remember that you can't throw everything else by the wayside just to achieve one goal.

Miku: Apparently, some people actually can do that, seeing as I did, not that I ever didn't want to become a singer when I was little.

Kiyoteru: Oh, really?

Miku: Yes, really. In fact, I drew inspiration from you.

Kiyoteru: You don't say.

Miku: How come you stopped becoming a singer once I entered middle school?

Kiyoteru: That's easy to explain. You see, the idol job paid well, but I never really felt happy with my career. Too many people treated me like something I wasn't, someone who deserved more praise than was really necessary. Plus, I was growing nearsighted and I… (notices that Miku has suddenly fallen asleep) Miku?

Miku: (wakes up) Oh, uh, what?

Kiyoteru: Uh…never mind.

Miku: No, it's fine. I just haven't gotten much sleep lately.

Kiyoteru: Right. Now, as I was saying, I was growing nearsighted and my manager wouldn't get me a pair of glasses or contact lenses, and I couldn't afford eye surgery, so I decided to… (notices Miku is asleep again) Miku?

Miku: (yawns) Uh, what?

Kiyoteru: You fell asleep again.

Miku: Sorry, Hiyama-sensei.

Kiyoteru: Don't be sorry; just don't do it again.

Miku: You know, maybe now's not a good time to… (yawns, then falls asleep)

Kiyoteru: Miku? Miku?

1 English is a standardized subject in the Japanese school system. For all intents and purposes, _Vocaloid Short Shorts_ is a bunch of rough subtitles.


	59. Once Upon a Memory

Once Upon a Memory

(scene of Miku sitting by her suite room window at midday)

Miku: _Hear my voice. Listen well.  
Hear my words carefully and hear them well.  
I'm still here and waiting for your call.  
I'll always be right here, one for all._

GUMI: What's wrong, Miku?

Miku: Oh, GUMI-san, what brings you here?

GUMI: I was just walking by, and I happened to notice you singing. You're not usually like this. What's wrong?

Miku: Oh, I don't know…

GUMI: Come on. You can tell me.

Miku: I guess I just miss my parents.

GUMI: Yeah. Kiyoteru told me that your parents were very kind people. In fact, they were some of the nicest people he'd ever met. Every year on his birthday, they'd bring him a special gift that they had made themselves in thanks for teaching their daughter how to sing. What happened to your parents, anyway? (notices Miku starting to cry) What is it?

Miku: (fighting back tears) My…my… (deeply saddened) MY PARENTS DIED IN A PLANE CRASH! (cries profusely)

GUMI: Oh, that's…that's awful. I hope they didn't suffer.

Miku: (sniff) I don't know if they suffered or not, but I do know one thing: when my uncle took me in, he was heartbroken and confused. As my father's younger brother, he had no idea how to raise me. It was horrible! (hic) (sob)

GUMI: Oh, you poor little thing. Here. You can cry on my shoulder if you'd like.

Miku: But…won't you—?

GUMI: No. I'll be fine. Contrary to popular opinion, not all robots short circuit when exposed to water.

Miku: Thank you… (cries on GUMI's shoulder)


	60. Line 2

Line 2

(scene of Gakupo talking on the phone in his office)

Gakupo: No, Dad. I'm just trying to…No, I'm not a crazed tycoon; I'm a band manager…Well, the difference being that one is a job and the other's a stark raving lunatic…Look, if I didn't think this job was the right fit for me, I wouldn't have taken it in the—(the phone rings on another line) Oh, uh, hang on. I've got to take this. (answers the other line) Hello?…Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, slow down. Huh? What do you mean Kaito lost it?… (enraged and surprised) He WHAT?… (bleep) AAAUGH! (slams his hands repeatedly on his desk) (bleep) (bleep)

Miki: Ooh, language.

Gakupo: (covers the phone and turns to Miki) Not now, Luka. I'm busy. (turns back to the phone, then does a double take) Wait a minute. Who are you?

Miki: Who, me? My name is Sakaki Fujikawa Asatori 2.0, but you can just call me Miki. (fast-paced) Soooooo, I hear you're the Vocaloids' manager. Do you really get 90% of all ticket sales or is that an urban legend? I mean a lot of Japanese pop stars get overpaid, but where does all the money really—hey, is that a ponytail? I thought only women wore ponytails. Are you a samurai? You must be a samurai. You've got the hakama, the haori, the kimono; you've got everything a good samurai needs…well, all except the kickass armor. Or maybe you have a suit of armor like that somewhere around here. You mind if I look around? OMG, is that a bobblehead of you? It's so adorable! I've always wanted to be a—(normally) oh, wait a minute. Did I interrupt something?

Gakupo: Uh, yes.

Miki: Sorry. (hurriedly leaves the office)

Gakupo: (resumes talking on his phone) Where was I? Oh, right. How could Kaito lose my present for Luka I told you two to buy in the (bleep)ing toilet?…Oh, you mean he left it in the rest room1…Well, don't just stand there, you blockheads! Find it! (hangs up on the second line) Ugh, sorry, Dad…Those were the two blockheads on my payroll…Yes, I know they're blockheads, but they're my friends. I can't just leave them hanging…Ah, you know how she is. I mean she acts like she only likes me as a friend, but she just can't keep her hands off me…Dad, that incident happened years ago. I've learned my lesson…

Miki: (suddenly pops in, prompting Gakupo to almost drop the phone in shock) Who are you talking to?

1 One of the Japanese words for "toilet" is "benjo," which also means "rest room."


	61. Ushimitsudoki

Ushimitsudoki

(scene of Rin sitting on a porch at night, staring at the full moon, which is partially red1)

Len: (comes out to check on Rin) Uh, Rin? What are you doing?

Rin: (darkly) Well, don't you know? It's the bewitching hour right now.

Len: The bewitching hour?

Rin: Of course. It's 2 AM at night, isn't it2?

Len: Yeah. So, what?

Rin: (chuckles evilly) You of all people should know that it's not safe at this time of night. (slowly picks up a hatchet from nearby)

Len: (nervously) R-Rin? What are you doing? (collapses on his back and looks up at Rin)

Rin: (as she approaches Len with the hatchet) _I'll kill them all!  
It's just not enough, not enough.  
My impulse has yet to be sated.  
Pathetic, pathetic, these humans are too weak._

Len: (crawling back) S-snap out of it, Rin! It's me, your brother! Remember?

Rin: _All that I am  
Is just one discarded killing doll._ (raises the hatchet over her head)_  
All that I ask is "What was I created for?"  
Could anyone be kind enough to tell me?_

Len: (terrified, putting his hands up) GAAAAAH! (Rin brings the hatchet down on Len's head and lets it crumple, then starts laughing hysterically; Len nervously opens his eyes and feels his head for blood, then notices that the hatchet is made of aluminum foil)

Rin: (fighting back her own laughter) You should've seen the look on your face, Len! You were like (playfully and mockingly) "GAAAAAH!" (resumes laughing)

Len: (bluntly) If you weren't my sister, Rin, I'd wring your neck for this…

1 This phenomenon commonly occurs whenever there's a lunar eclipse.

2 In old Japanese legend, the time between 2 and 2:30 AM at night was believed to be the best time for evils to act.


	62. Forever Young

Forever Young

(scene of Miku and Lily playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3 in the Crypton Studios arcade1)

Miku: (laughing) Quit that!

Lily: No way, kid. I'm here to—d'oh!

Announcer: K.O.! Player 1 wins!

Lily: (steps away and shakes her hands out) Great match, Miku.

Miku: You too, Lily-san. You've improved a lot since last time. This time, you reduced me to my last character and nearly beat her.

Lily: What can I say? I'm a fast learner. (pause) On a related note, do you even know who half of these characters are?

Miku: No.

Lily: Me neither. Some of them look like they're really old, and I don't mean age wise. It almost feels like these two companies just randomly threw in some obscure and not-so-obscure characters into this game. (chuckle) In a way, it kind of reminds me of all of us here at Crypton Studios.

Miku: How so?

Lily: I mean come on. We're entertainment icons throughout all of Japan for now, but someday, we too will fade into obscurity, just like half the cast of this game. I don't know when or how it'll happen, but someday, it will happen, and all that time spent sharing your talents with the world will just be a fading memory.

Miku: (thinks about this for a moment) That's a very dark way to look at it.

Lily: What do you mean? I'm just being realistic.

Miku: We all know that our time of fame won't last forever. Even so, we all enjoy it while we still can, and no matter what happens, we'll always have each other.

Lily: (thinks about this for a moment) Weird. I always figured that the best part of being a star was getting the chance to exhibit myself. I guess everyone has a different perspective about it.

Miku: True. I never thought about becoming a star when I started singing, but here I am right now.

Lily: Well, come to think of it, I never thought about becoming a star either. (pause) So, care for a rematch?

Miku: No thanks. I'm done for today. Meiko-san and Kaito-san are probably waiting for us at the park anyway.

Lily: Yeah. Good idea. All these video games are making my eyes twitch. (leaves the arcade with Miku beside her)

1 Miku is playing as Zero, Tron Bonne, and Morrigan. Lily is playing as X-23, Trish, and Sentinel. Their usernames are "Electric Angel" and "ATHENA" respectively.


	63. In My Own Words

In My Own Words

(scene of Miki writing on a notepad in a library)

Miki: (to herself) Ugh. Why can't I come up with any good ideas for this fanfiction? How hard could it be to write something so simple? (pause) Maybe I should step outside.

(cut to Miki standing outside the library in pouring rain)

Miki: (to herself) Why did I think this was a good idea?

(cut to Miki writing on a notepad in a library)

Miki: (to herself) It's a good thing I can't short out.

GUMI: That's a crude and inaccurate stereotype, Miki, and don't you ever repeat it.

Miki: (turns around to see GUMI) Oh, hi there, GUMI.

GUMI: Let me guess. You know my name because I'm with the Vocaloids?

Miki: Exactly. Besides, your name is printed on your shirt.

GUMI: (looks down and notices a name tag on her shirt) Oh. So it is. (looks back at Miki) But that's not important. What are you trying to write?

Miki: Just some fanfiction about you guys. The problem is that I don't know where to start.

GUMI: I have a few ideas.

Miki: (excitedly) Really?

GUMI: SHH! (whispering) This is a library. We're not supposed to be loud in here.

Miki: (whispering) Oh, sorry. Anyway, what do you have in mind?

(clock wipe to Miki and GUMI writing at a desk)

GUMI: It's easy to draw them.

Miki: This is just a big mouth with some hair.

GUMI: Exactly.


	64. Beating the Heat

Beating the Heat

(scene of Ring sitting at a café with her head on the table)

Ring: (sigh) What a day. It's hot enough to fry an egg out there.

Lui: (walks in, unnoticed by Ring) Well, technically, no, it is not, but I get the idea.

Ring: What idea is there to… (suddenly picks her head up and notices Lui) Huh? Who are you?

Lui: Excuse me, but before asking someone else's name, is it not polite to provide your own?

Ring: Oh, sorry. I'm Ring Suzune.

Lui: Well met, Suzune-san. My name is Lui Hibiki.

Ring: Lui, huh? That sounds like a boy's name. (looks at Lui intently) Are you sure your parents didn't make a mistake when you were born?

Lui: (chuckles) Believe it or not, you are not the first person to mistake me for a girl.

Ring: I'm not?

Lui: Of course. You are, however, the first person to do so because of my appearance.

Ring: (opens her mouth to say something, but then lets her jaw drop) Boy, do I feel sheepish.

Lui: Do not worry. It is not such a big deal.

Ring: Okay. Anyway, maybe I shouldn't ask, but why are you here?

Lui: That is a good question. Am I the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a god watching over me? I do not know, but it keeps me up at night.

Ring: (pauses awkwardly) What? I mean why are you here, at this spot?

Lui: Oh, that. I was walking down the street and I decided to stop by here to get a drink. You are right when you say it is hot outside, after all.

Ring: It sure is. I'm not sure I'd want to go back out there.

Lui: You will have to go back outside sooner or later, Suzune-san.

Ring: Just call me Ring.

Lui: Very well, Ring. In the meantime, what is that (points to a piece of paper beside Ring) piece of paper on the table?

Ring: (looks at the paper) Huh? This? (takes up the paper in her hands) Oh, it's just a want ad for Crypton Studios. It says they're holding open auditions in a couple of weeks.

Lui: Is that so? Why do you not audition?

Ring: Oh, I'm not that into it. I mean I'd like to become a singer, but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Lui: It does sound like an interesting prospect, though. In fact, I may very well attend this session as well. Allow me to demonstrate a sample of my singing ability, if you please.

Ring: Alright. Shoot.

Lui: (clears his throat)  
_There's an flipside, upturned rainbow  
Appearing as you sing your song.  
It's a melody for only you  
That makes the world just sway along._

_There's an flipside, upturned rainbow  
Appearing as you sing your song.  
It's a melody for only you  
That makes the world just sway along._

Ring: Wow. That's impressive.

Lui: (stops singing) You think so?

Ring: Yeah. I think I just might have my work cut out for me.


	65. Electric Angels: Part 1

Electric Angels: Part 1

[Solid black; footsteps and screeching tires are heard, followed by a dull thud]

[Fade from black to Miku lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask on her face; sensors beep away while Meiko, Kaito, Rin, and Len look on from outside the room]

Kaito: So, Miku pushed you two out of the way when she saw that car coming at you while the three of you were on your way back from a shopping trip?

Rin: Yep.

Kaito: And Neru and Haku were the first people to come and help?

Rin: That's about the size of it.

Len: (worried) Is she going to die?

Meiko: I don't know. The doctor's prognosis looked pretty grim, though; he said that she probably wouldn't have lasted one more minute had she not been so close to the hospital.

Len: …Okay… (glumly lowers his head)

Meiko: How will we break the news to the others?

Rin: That depends on how everyone else will react; all of us have some sort of connection to her, don't we?

Kaito: I guess you're right. Even so, (Len walks away) if Miku does die, we should all cherish the memories of the time we had with… (notices Len walking away) What's wrong?

Len: What's wrong? (turns around and glares at Kaito with tears in his eyes) I'll tell you what's wrong! Our friend is dying, and you all are acting like you don't have a care in the world! That's what's wrong! (turns around and runs away, sobbing)

Kaito: Len, come back! (starts to run after Len, but Rin stops him)

Rin: Let him go, Kaito. I'll talk to him. (starts runing after Len) Len, come back here!

[Meiko and Kaito stare at each other awkwardly for a moment]

Meiko: So, uh… when this is over, you want to take Rin and Len for ice cream?

Kaito: (smiles) I thought you'd never ask.

[Cut to inside of hospital room, where Miku rises out of her body]

Miku: (groaning) Unnngh… My head… Huh? (suddenly discovers that she's transparent) [mildly panicked] What's going on? Where am I? Am I dead?

Voice: (faintly echoing) Miku… Miku…!

Miku: (gasp) Is someone calling me?

[Slowly, a strange figure that looks exactly like Miku appears in front of Miku]

Figure: (sarcastically) No, Miku. I'm just shouting "Miku! Miku!" for the hell of it.

Miku: (alarmed) AAAAH! Who are you? How do you know my name?

Figure: What? (suddenly realizes how much she's scared Miku) Oh, sorry. I guess you're not used to seeing ghosts, huh?

Miku: (normally) Yeah. Funny thing about that: don't they not exist?

Figure: Right. Anyway, to answer your questions, my name is Sakura Hatsune, and I've been watching over you all your life.

Miku: Like a guardian angel or something?

Sakura: Exactly. Well, to be more precise, I knew you before you were born.

Miku: What are you talking about?

Sakura: (turning deadly serious) …Miku, I'm your identical twin sister.

[Miku and Sakura stare at each other for a moment]

Miku: (nonchalantly) …No, you're not.

Sakura: I look and sound exactly like you, Miku. Of course I'm your identical twin sister.

Miku: No, you're not; my parents told me that I was an only child. Why would they lie to me?

Sakura: Because I was stillborn.

Miku: That still doesn't explain why my parents—

Sakura: OUR parents, you mean.

Miku: Right. That still doesn't explain why "our" parents would lie to me.

Sakura: They probably never told you about me because they were afraid that you'd be devastated if you knew. I certainly was when I realized that we couldn't be born together, but after seeing how far you've come without me, I can't just drag you to Heaven by force; that would be selfish.

Miku: Does this mean I'll get to live through this accident?

Sakura: Absolutely, but on one condition: I get to live with you. I want to experience firsthand the life you've lived by yourself.

Miku: Well, I've only just met you, Sakura, but you seem like a trustworthy person. And besides, I'm not alone in this world; I have my friends to support me. I'm certain they'd be thrilled to meet you. (notices that Sakura's mood has suddenly fallen) Sakura, what's wrong?

Sakura: Well, the thing about that is that I can't exactly live on Earth without a body. Would you mind if I shared yours with you for a while?

Miku: Of course not. That is, at least until you can get a body of your own.

Sakura: (overjoyed) Thank you so much, Miku! (throws her arms around Miku, almost sending them both sprawling on the bed)

Miku: (closes her eyes and returns Sakura's embrace) You're welcome, Sakura. (opens her eyes) Uh, how exactly will this work out?

Sakura: Just close your eyes and believe that you can live again.

Miku: (closes her eyes) Okay. Are you sure that'll work?

Sakura: (without a trace of doubt) I have no idea.

[Miku and Sakura, still hugging each other, slowly fade into Miku's body together; the sensors start beeping normally, and Miku slowly opens her physical eyes]


	66. Electric Angels: Part 2

Electric Angels: Part 2

_Miku sits in the lobby of a hospital, accompanied by a doctor. She appears to be talking to herself as if having a split personality, but actually, she and Sakura now both inhabit Miku's body._

Miku: And last, but not least, there's Gakupo-san. He's our manager.

Sakura: I see. I'll bet he has to go through a lot of paperwork on a daily basis.

Miku: Yeah. He often misses meals, weekends, and sleep because of his work, yet he always finds time to spend with the rest of us. He's a really nice man once you get to know him, but sometimes, he ends up on the receiving end of his own bids to win over Luka-san.

Sakura: Such as?

Miku: Well, I never saw it happen, but Luka-san told me that there was this one time where Gakupo-san took her out for dinner, and just as he was about to kiss her, a snowball came out of nowhere and hit him in the face.

Sakura: (laughing) Oh, man! I can't wait to meet your friends, Miku.

_Just then, Gakupo comes into the lobby through the front door and notices Miku waiting for him._

Gakupo: (overjoyed) Behold the triumphant return of the prodigal daughter!

_Sakura notices Gakupo and, while still active, turns to see him._

Sakura: Huh? Who are you?

Gakupo: Who am I? WHO AM I? (suddenly turns puzzled) Who am I? Don't you remember me? I'm Gakupo Kamui, your beloved manager and guardian, remember?

Sakura: …Uh, actually, I've never—

_Miku suddenly takes over, turns away, and cups her hand near her mouth._

Miku: (whispering) Sakura!

Sakura: What?

Miku: Shhh!

Sakura: (whispering) Oh, sorry. What?

Miku: (whispering) Now's not the best time to reveal yourself.

Sakura: (whispering) Why not? You said I could meet your friends once we left the hospital.

Miku: (whispering) We're still in the hospital. And besides, what I said doesn't mean you get to make me look like an amnesiac.

Sakura: (whispering) Miku, in case you haven't noticed, the doctor thinks we—I mean you—are suffering from multiple personality disorder. I'm pretty sure—

Gakupo: (thoroughly confused) Uh, Miku, why are you talking to yourself? And who's this "Sakura" person?

_Sakura turns back to Gakupo. Hurriedly, she and Miku both try to explain their situation._

Miku and Sakura: ebbo;ijsni;zfjiojraepmwjfr89p43uc5r3q;;zaefr[awir[93051q3ui94mt[rcaj fr;oiervg;kjnserkgh oret[ik mcq[oi 4t [p5]4w8i9t]s0d jgvi rejmtvwi ]5t4cwi54 ]v\sy\5y i45yeiv…

_Gakupo raises an eyebrow and scratches his head. Miku, embarrassed, bows her head and cups her hand near her mouth._

Miku: (whispering) Let me handle this.

Sakura: (whispering) Okay.

_Miku lifts her head and looks at Gakupo._

Miku: Gakupo-san, I know that what I'm about to say sounds crazy, but I'm currently sharing my body with the soul of my long-lost identical twin sister, Sakura. That's why it looks like I'm talking to myself.

_Gakupo thinks about this for a moment._

Gakupo: I suppose that explains why you were babbling nonsense at me just now, too?

Miku: Exactly.

Gakupo: (nonchalantly) Meh. As far as crazy stories go, I've heard crazier. For instance, GUMI once told me that while she was still property of Black Rock Shooter, one of the experiments she was subjected to involved a go-cart, a tow truck, 9 kilograms of weapons-grade uranium, and some kind of prototype engine. Apparently, once it was done, GUMI's hair somehow started changing colors depending on the amount of sound in the lab. If something like that can happen, so can whatever happened to you.

Miku: You don't say…

Gakupo: Yeah. Now, let's get you home, young lady…er, ladies. I can't wait to see the looks on everybody else's faces when they see this.

Sakura: Me neither.


	67. Electric Angels: Part 3

Electric Angels: Part 3

_Miku and Luka are sitting at a restaurant. Through Miku, Sakura hurriedly gorges herself on one plate of food after another while Luka stares blankly._

Luka: Let me guess. That's Sakura eating all this food right now, not Miku.

_Sakura, oblivious to Luka's presence, continues eating._

Luka: Your blatant ignorance of my presence is very reassuring.

_Miku takes over and stops Sakura's feeding frenzy._

Miku: (gulp; gasp) Sakura, slow down! If you keep eating like this, I won't be able to talk…or breathe.

Sakura: Give me a break, Miku. I haven't had the need to eat for 16 years. I'm still trying to get used to this.

Miku: I understand, but you do have to remember that this is my body.

Sakura: Miku, I'm sorry. I just got—

Miku: Not that I mind sharing it with you or anything.

Luka: Excuse me, girls. I'd hate to interrupt, but I'd prefer to stay in the loop here.

Miku and Sakura: Huh?

Luka: You know, when Gakupo told me that Miku was now Sakura's host, I kind of expected something more from the two of you. Something a bit more…unusual.

Sakura: You mean like Miku suddenly growing a second head?

Luka: No. More like some kind of weird marking appearing on her, or her eyes changing color whenever she switched between you and herself.

Sakura: Maybe you've been reading too many ghost stories, Luka.

Luka: Maybe. Maybe not. But I do have to admit that this is pretty unusual. How exactly are you two planning to work out this whole "two souls in the same body" business?

Miku: You know, we kind of just felt like we could just take turns using my body whenever we feel it's necessary. I let Sakura stuff herself like this because she told me she was hungry.

Sakura: You were hungry too, Miku. I figured that whatever I ate would satisfy both of us. I guess I didn't realize that there was a limit to how much you could eat at once.

Miku: That's okay. I didn't' exactly have anything to eat before you showed up. By the way, thanks again for saving my life.

Sakura: Thank YOU for GIVING me life.

Luka: I'd really hate to rain on your parade, girls, but how much of the bill are you planning to cover?

_Luka hands Miku the check. Upon seeing it, Miku's eyes widen with alarm briefly before she puts her hand behind her head and laughs nervously. Luka rolls her eyes at her._


	68. Electric Angels: Part 4

Electric Angels: Part 4

_Miku, GUMI, and Lily are in front of a karaoke machine. GUMI is currently singing._

GUMI: (singing) There's a drop of newfound life to receive,  
But it feels so much like we're lost in a dream.  
In the galaxy of our hearts, there's only pure snow.  
Of the galaxy of our hearts, I'll never let go.

_The music stops, and Miku and Lily applaud as GUMI sits back down. The TV set displays a score of 92._

GUMI: [wiping her forehead with the back of her hand] Looks like I'm a bit rusty. It's been too long since I got to sing like that.

Lily: I'll say. You usually get at least a 96 on that song.

_Miku stands up and walks to the machine._

Miku: Well, looks like it's our turn. Are you ready, Sakura?

Sakura: I sure am.

_Miku and Sakura browse through songs before they stop at one._

Sakura: (inquisitively) This looks like a good one…

Miku: Good choice. But before we begin, why did you pick this one?

Sakura: It makes me think of you.

Miku: Really? That's so sweet.

Sakura: Yeah, well, you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?

Miku: Absolutely.

Sakura: Right. Now, let's get to it!

Lily: Wait a second. Is that Miku picking the song right now or Sakura?

_The machine starts playing music._

Sakura: (singing) I love to sing, and I do it every day,  
But not solely because I was born to do so without end.  
You told me once that you listen to my voice,  
And it brings you delight when you listen without end.

I could only think in the language of machines  
Up until you bestowed on me a gracious thing called love,  
So now every day I sing, I hold you close to my heart until it  
Overflows with everything I think about you.

I could never leave your side ever again;  
Simply being with you makes me quiver and quake.  
Like the winds of the ages, this feeling just won't stop;  
Even as you leave me, my heart will still shake.

I hate it when I am left all alone,  
'cause I need other people to fill my bleak and lonely world.  
I love the time I can freely spend with you;  
It can warm me up in the darkness of my world.

I can only sleep when you leave me by myself;  
I have only you to thank for everything I sing,  
So now every day I sing, I hold you close to my heart until it  
Overflows with everything I think about you.

I could never leave your side ever again;  
Simply being with you makes my spirit come alive.  
Like the winds of the ages, this feeling just won't stop;  
Even as you leave me, I will still survive.

…

AAAA-AAAA-AAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAA

…

I can never leave your side ever again;  
Simply being with you has opened up my eyes.  
With the wings of an angel soaring through the air,  
You have given my heart the ability to fly.

I will never leave your side ever again;  
Simply being with you makes me quiver and quake.  
Like the winds of the ages, this feeling just won't stop;  
Even as you leave me, my heart will still shake.

_The music stops, and GUMI and Lily applaud as Sakura bows deeply to them. The TV set displays a score of 99. Sakura sits back down through Miku._

Sakura: [noticing the TV set] Hey, not bad for my first try, eh, Miku? [suddenly notices tears coming to Miku's eyes] Miku? What's going on? Why are you so sad all of a sudden?

Miku: (sniff) [trying to stifle her crying] I'm not sad, Sakura; I'm happy.

Sakura: Huh?

Miku: [trying to stifle her crying] I knew you cared about me, but I didn't think you cared about me that much.

Lily: (awkwardly) Okay… If I wasn't freaked out when Miku told me about her and Sakura sharing her body, I'm definitely freaked out now.

GUMI: That's nothing compared to some of the stuff I've had to go through. Before I tell you, can you promise me you won't freak out?

Lily: I can't make any promises, but I'll try.

GUMI: Okay.


	69. Homecoming Gifts

Homecoming Gifts

_Kaito stands outside the door of the Vocaloids' suite with a keychain_1_ in his hand. He looks down at the keychain and slowly closes his hand over it._

Kaito: (thinking) This is the day Meiko and I first met when we were kids, but I couldn't afford anything else. I just hope she likes this…

_He slowly opens the door._

Kaito: I'm back, everyone!

_An eerie silence fills the suite as nobody responds. Kaito looks around and notices that the doors to everyone's bedrooms are closed except Meiko's which is slightly ajar. He looks inside the room to see Meiko lying face down on the floor in a pool of what appears to be her own blood with a knife in her back._

Kaito: (increasingly horrified) Oh…my…GOD! MEIKO! [sinks to his hands and knees and starts crying] You're dead! How did this happen? You were so young! You had so much singing and yelling at me to do…

_Suddenly, Meiko opens her eyes, leaps up to her feet, traps Kaito in a headlock, and gleefully noogies him._

Meiko: [laughing] Gotcha, you gullible sap!

Kaito: (simultaneously) [gagging] Meiko, please…I…can't…breathe…

_She lets go of Kaito and takes the knife out of her back, revealing it to be fake._

Meiko: You know, Kaito, we've known each other for a long time. But I swear I never thought you'd be so convinced that I was dead just then, especially since this is…uh…how many times does this make it?

Kaito: Eh, more than I'd care to count.

Meiko: Let's say 58.

Kaito: 58? That seems kind of excessive.

Meiko: I know. What surprises me is that it gets you every time.

Kaito: That's only because you make it look so convincing.

Meiko: Oh, yeah. Like that time I stuffed myself in the mouth of that sunfish costume.

Kaito: That wasn't a real sunfish?

Meiko: It had holes where my arms and legs could've come out. What made you think it was a real sunfish?

_Kaito pauses awkwardly for a moment._

Kaito: Uh…

Meiko: (amused) I rest my case. [notices the keychain in Kaito's hand] On another note, I see you got something for me. [takes the keychain from Kaito and dangles it in front of her eyes] Is today what I think it is?

Kaito: I don't know. What do you think today is?

Meiko: The day we first met, obviously. What did you think I thought it was? My birthday?

_Kaito pauses awkwardly for a moment._

Kaito: Uh…

Meiko: I rest my case again.

_Meiko throws the keychain aside, and she and Kaito get up on their feet. As they talk, they head out of the bedroom._

Meiko: In any case, Kaito, you didn't need to get anything for me today; there's something I've owed you for a long, long time.

Kaito: Huh?

Meiko: Do you remember when we promised each other that we'd always be together?

Kaito: We were still in grade school back then.

Meiko: Exactly, and look at us now. Here we are, just the two of us, just like we were all those years ago.

_Meiko and Kaito stop by the couch in the suite lobby._

Meiko: And I have a feeling that this is just the beginning…

Kaito: What are you talking abo—?

_Suddenly, Meiko throws her arms around Kaito, pulls him in close, and kisses him passionately. Kaito struggles weakly for a moment, but then slowly closes his eyes, wraps his arms around Meiko, and returns her affection._

1 The keychain has a label that reads "Two Stories".


	70. Electric Angels: Part 5

Electric Angels: Part 5

_Miku is sitting alone on the rooftop of the Crypton Studios residence tower, staring at a clear sky._

Sakura: You saw it too, didn't you?

Miku: Saw what?

Sakura: You know. Meiko and Kaito kissing each other?

Miku: Oh yeah, that.

Sakura: You're not upset? I thought you said you loved Kaito.

Miku: If anything, I'm happy that Meiko-san finally got through to Kaito-san; they've apparently known each other since grade school. I've only known them for a year and a half. Besides that, while it's true that I love Kaito-san, it's not the kind of love Meiko-san has for him; I love him as if he was my brother.

Sakura: You mean OUR brother, right?

Miku: Well, sort of. I never knew you even existed until recently, let alone started sharing my body with you, so that's a bit hard getting used to.

Sakura: Yeah, I imagine it would be.

_Sakura notices two people coming out the corner of Miku's eye._

Sakura: On another note, aren't those the Kagamine siblings coming right at us?

Miku: Huh?

_Rin and Len arrive at Miku's position. Len hunches over and breathes heavily while Rin casually adjusts her ribbon._

Rin: There you are, Miku! We've been looking everywhere for you.

Miku: Oh, hello, Rin-chan. What brings you here?

Rin: It's Gakupo and Luka; they're taking us to an amusement park, and they wanted you to go with us.

Miku: Who else is going?

Len: Should you really ask?

Miku: Can Sakura come too?

Rin: Who?

Len: She means the soul of her identical twin sister—which I still think is really wacky—and I don't think she'll go with us if you say "No."

Rin: Well…um…

_Cut to a drift car track at an amusement park. Outside the track grounds, Luka is casually reading a book, Yuki and Lily are playing shogi, GUMI is standing on a lamppost, Meiko and Kaito are playing with snow cones, and Miku, Rin, Len, Neru, Teto, and Gakupo are in different drift cars, screaming at the tops of their lungs._

Len: (terrified) STOP THE RIDE! STOP THE RIDE! I WANT TO GO HOME!

Rin: [simultaneously] (excitedly) YEAH! GO YUKARI-MOBILE ON THIS PLACE! TEAR THIS COURSE APART!

Sakura: [simultaneously] (excitedly) FASTER! FASTER! MIKU, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!

Miku: (frightened) THEY'RE ALREADY IN THE AIR, SAKURA!

Neru: [simultaneously] I'mgoingtobesickI'mgoingtobesickI'mgoingtobesickI'mgoingtobesick…

Teto: [simultaneously] Hey, I can see the insides of my eye sockets!

Gakupo: [simultaneously] (terrified) OH, MY GOD! LOOK OUT FOR THAT GUY!

Luka: [looks up from her book, then looks back at the book] Yep. They'll be okay.


	71. Electric Angels: Part 6

Electric Angels: Part 6

_Neru and Teto sit together in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite. Neru is playing a game on her phone while Teto is eating half of a baguette._

Teto: (gulp) So…remember when we used to do stuff?

Neru: [looking up from her phone] What do you mean?

Teto: You know. When we used to do stuff, like singing with Miku and the others.

Neru: Come to think of it, when was the last time they even sang publically in the first place?

Teto: I…I don't know. [quietly takes a bit of her baguette]

Neru: Yes, it does seem like a long time, doesn't it?

_The door to Miku's door opens as Miku and a Miku lookalike dressed in identical uniforms come out and approach Neru and Teto._

Miku: Neru-chan, Teto-chan, I'd like you to meet my sister, Sakura.

_Neru and Teto casually turn their attention to Miku and notice the lookalike beside her. Teto's eyes go wide with alarm._

Teto: (dumbfounded) Uh, Miku…am I seeing double or are there two of you as of now?

Neru: (nonchalantly) Uh, neither. (slowly turns more amused) But unless I'm mistaken, Sakura now has her own body, correct? I'm curious about how it happened.

Sakura: Well…

Fade to white, then from white to Miku sitting alone on her bed.

Sakura: Miku, there's something I have to tell you.

Miku: What is it, Sakura?

Sakura: I'll be blunt, Miku; I'm leaving.

Miku: (shocked) What? You…you can't leave!

Sakura: I have to, Miku. [reaches for a hair on Miku's head and yanks it out] I wish I could stay as much as you do, but I can't. It's time.

Miku: (increasingly saddened) Sakura, please! Don't go! I never even knew you until recently, and now, just when we get to bond like the sisters we are, you can't just leave!

Sakura: As I said, I have to. I have to do this for all of our friends, for both of us, and especially for you, my sister.

Miku: (deeply saddened) Sakura!

Sakura: (increasingly faintly) Don't worry. I'll see you again in a few seconds. Now, goodbye, Miku…

Miku: (suddenly confused) Wait. What?

_Suddenly, the hair in Miku's hand starts to swell and morph. Miku stands up, sets it down on her bed, and watches in amazement as it turns into an exact copy of Miku. Once it's done forming, the copy takes a deep breath, opens its eyes, and gets on its feet, looking at Miku._

Miku: (astonished and wary) S…Sakura…? Is…is that you?

Copy: …Yes, Miku. It's me.

Miku: But...I thought you said you were leaving.

Sakura: I WAS leaving, Miku; I was leaving your body because I could now form my own from your DNA. I guess I should've been more specific. I'm sorry I made you worry.

_Miku thinks about this for a moment, and then lets a smile creep across her face._

Miku: (overjoyed) SAKURA! [throws her arms around Sakura, almost sending them both sprawling on the floor] Oh, Sakura. I'm so happy you're still here.

Sakura: [returning Miku's embrace] As I said, I'm sorry I made you worry.

Miku: All is forgiven, Sakura. All is forgiven. [breaks away from Sakura] But before I go and explain this to the others, there's something I have to tell you.

Sakura: Is it that you always considered me to be more than just your sister? That I'm like a part of your soul that you've either been missing for so long or never knew you had?

Miku: Actually, it's something more important.

Sakura: (confused) …What?

Miku: [shields her eyes] PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

_Sakura comically falls off her feet and lands on her side._


	72. Like a Glint of Fish

Like a Glint of Fish

_Gakupo is sitting at his desk while GUMI reads a rather large book_1_. Surprisingly, there are no papers to file today. GUMI is humming "Imitator."_

Gakupo: [sigh] It seems like just yesterday when I found a cockroach in my wardrobe.

GUMI: [stops humming] That WAS yesterday.

Gakupo: I know, but it was a classic line, and I couldn't resist.

GUMI: …I'm…not even going to begin to go into what's wrong with that. You humans say the weirdest things, I tell you.

_GUMI proceeds to resume reading her book, but then has a thought occur to her._

GUMI: By the way, how are things going between Luka and you?

Gakupo: Luka? Um…

_Fade to white, then from white to Gakupo and Luka sitting together on a park bench._

Gakupo: Say, Luka, hypothetically, what if I asked you out on a date tonight?

Luka: That depends.

Gakupo: On what?

Luka: If you're trying to get me to go out with you atop Tokyo Tower again, may I remind you that last time you tried that stunt, you nearly fell to your death?

Gakupo: Aww, Luka, I didn't know you cared so much.

Luka: It's only to keep you from doing anything stupid.

_She notices a piece of paper in Gakupo's hand._

Luka: By the way, what's that you've got there?

Gakupo: Just a little something I thought I should give you regarding my proposal.

_He hands over the paper, and Luka unfolds and reads it. Suddenly, her eyes grow wide with alarm, and a giant sweat drop appears on her head._

Luka: (nervously) Uh…Gakupo…this letter didn't come from a small town house in Hokkaido, did it?

Gakupo: Yes. Why?

Luka: (increasingly nervously) Did the writer happen to be a small-time fisherman?

Gakupo: (curiously) Uh, yes. Why?

_Luka freezes momentarily, throws the letter into the air, screams bloody murder, runs away, knocks down a nearby tree, and hurriedly builds an elaborate tomb to hide in from the wood. Gakupo picks up the letter from the ground nearby and reads it with a thoroughly defeated look on his face._

_Fade to white, then from white to Gakupo and GUMI in Gakupo's office_

Gakupo: Relatively well.

_Gakupo hands over the letter to GUMI, who reads it out loud._

GUMI: "Shut up and do it. Signed, Gramps."

_She looks up at Gakupo, thoroughly confused._

GUMI: I don't get it.

Gakupo: Me neither.

GUMI: How long ago was this?

Gakupo: 30 minutes ago, I think.

_Cut to the tomb Luka built in the park; Luka is still inside, crying with fright._

Luka: (mortified) Please, don't hurt me, grandpa! I'll be good! I promise!

1 The book is titled "Aniimo".


	73. Zero Confidence

Zero Confidence

_Rin and Len are sitting at a table outside a convenience store. Rin is holding a plastic bag_1_ on her shoulder while Len fingers a pencil_2_._

Len: Hey, Rin.

Rin: Yeah?

Len: You know, a thought occurred to me. How long have we known Miku and the others?

Rin: Geez. I don't know. It feels like we've known them forever.

Len: I know, right?

Rin: Yeah. On another note, thanks for coming shopping with me. I really wanted to pick some new outfits for our future appearances, but I wasn't sure if I could get a matching pair that you liked.

Len: That…is very uncharacteristically selfless of you, Rin.

Rin: (irritated) Hey. What's that supposed to mean?

Len: Normally, whenever you do something by yourself, you drag me into it by force. This isn't such a case; it's not like you.

Rin: What? Can't I be nice to my brother once in a while? There's no crime in that, is there?

Len: …No, there isn't.

Rin: (cheerfully) I thought not.

_Rin suddenly notices something out the corner of her eye, so she turns her head in its direction._

Rin: Hey, Len. Look. Isn't that Miku?

_She points to what appears to be Miku coming down the street, humming "Innocence" to herself. Len turns his attention to Miku._

Len: So, it is. Rin, there's something I have to take care of right now. I'll be back.

Rin: Well, whatever it is, good luck.

Len: Thanks.

_Len walks toward Miku, prompting her to stop in her tracks._

Len: M-M-M-Miku…

_He inhales deeply and closes his eyes tightly._

Len: (loudly and forcibly) I LOVE YOU, MIKU! I'VE WANTED TO TELL YOU FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, BUT I'VE NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU UNTIL NOW! I PROMISE THAT I'LL BE WITH YOU FOREVER, AND I'LL DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!

Sakura: (confused) …Uh, that's very nice of you, Len, but I'm not Miku; I'm Sakura.

_Len's eyes fly open in shock and horror. He drops his jaw and lets it hang for a few seconds. Suddenly, he buries his face in his hands and runs away, bawling. Sakura turns to Rin and approaches her with a confused expression on her face._

Rin: (awkwardly) Oops.

1 The bag has a label that reads "Shut Up, Get Out".

2 The pencil is engraved with the words, "Out of Eden".


	74. You Look Like…

You Look Like…

_Miku is standing behind Sakura in a chair on the rooftop of the Crypton Studios residence tower. Neru and Teto stand nearby, watching Miku hold a pair of scissors to Sakura's hair._

Neru: I'm warning you, Sakura. You really should rethink this.

Sakura: What are you so worried about? If I could trust Miku before, I can trust her now.

Neru: You can't trust her to do everything right, Sakura. Take it from me; when she cut my hair, she made a horrible mess of it.

_Sakura stares at Neru inquisitively._

Sakura: …Looks okay to me.

Neru: (exasperated) I USED TO WEAR MY PONYTAIL ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD!

Teto: Look, Neru. I appreciate your concern, but Sakura really wanted this, especially after Len humiliated himself in front of her the other day. I swear. You humans couldn't tell Miku and Sakura apart to save your lives.

Neru: And how, may I ask, can YOU tell them apart so easily?

Teto: They smell different.

Sakura: Quiet, you two. Miku's trying to concentrate.

Miku: It's okay, Sakura. We've been best friends since grade school. Now, hold still…

_Miku starts merrily cutting away at Sakura's hair while the latter closes her eyes._

Miku: (singing) It's a new day for some happy words  
To be said.  
So, open up your eyes and stretch,  
Then get up from your bed.  
But everyone's still asleep,  
Dreaming dreams so sweet.  
Why don't you tell them some happy words?  
Come. Go ahead.  
"Good morning, everyone."  
"Good morning, everyone."

It's a new day for some happy words  
To be said.  
So, look around and tell me something  
That might come into your head.  
Oh, I can't wait to hear  
All your thoughts so clear.  
Why don't you tell me some happy words?  
Come. Go ahead.  
"Thank you for your time."  
"Thank you for your time."

It's a new day for some happy words  
To be said.  
So, close your eyes and stretch your arms,  
Then lie down in your bed.  
But nobody's asleep,  
Dreaming dreams so sweet.  
Why don't you tell them some happy words?  
Come. Go ahead.

"Everyone, good night."  
"Everyone, good night."

_She stops cutting Sakura's hair, puts down the scissors, and hands Sakura a mirror._

Miku: There. All finished. What do you think?

_Sakura opens her eyes and stares at the mirror to see that her hair no longer matches Miku's twin pigtails. Instead, it sports a pair of panda ears. Teto takes one look at Sakura and bursts out laughing. Neru facepalms._

Neru: (embarrassed) I warned you.

Teto: (futilely trying to stifle her laughter) That's the goofiest… [laughing] I ca—[laughing]

Neru: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no. No, you didn't. Thought you could trust your klutz of a twin sister to cut your hair, didn't you? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them, but do they ever listen to me? Oh, no.

_Neru continues rambling in the background while Teto laughs. Sakura smiles and looks at Miku._

Sakura: You know, come to think of it, I think this is kind of cute.

_Miku and Sakura start giggling, and then burst out laughing with Teto._


	75. Honey, I Shrunk the Kid: Part 1

Honey, I Shrunk the Kid: Part 1

_Miki stands alone in the middle of a park, humming "Stardust" to herself. Suddenly, she notices something out the corner of her eye._

Miki: [stops humming] (thinking) Ooh. What do we have here?

_She walks to a nearby bush and sees Yuki crouching in front of it, her attention fixed on the underbrush. She inhales deeply and puts her face to Yuki's ear._

Miki: (loudly and jubilantly) HEY, THERE, LITTLE GIRLY! WHAT'S UP?

_Yuki flails around in shock, desperately reaching for her ears. Once Miki's screaming stops, she looks at Miki in disdain._

Yuki: Don't do that, Miki-san!

Miki: What? I thought you'd be happy to see me.

Yuki: I would've been if you didn't scream in my ear like that!

Miki: Oh, sorry about that. Anyway, what brings you here?

Yuki: I'm trying to write a research paper on spiders for biology, and part of it involves actually catching one, but I'm having trouble finding one.

Miki: Well, I think I have just the solution for your little spider problem. Here. Allow me.

Yuki: (confused) Huh? (alarmed) No, no, no, wait!

_Miki points her finger at Yuki and fires a strange beam from it, causing Yuki to shrink dramatically._

Miki: So, what do you think, Yuki? Will that help with your report?

_She suddenly realizes that she can't see or hear Yuki anywhere, so she starts looking around._

Miki: Yuki?


	76. Honey, I Shrunk the Kid: Part 2

Honey, I Shrunk the Kid: Part 2

_Lily and Miki are sitting together in a café. Miki is frantically flailing her arms around and telling Lily about what she did to Yuki in the park, almost too quickly for Lily to catch on._

Lily: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, slow down.

Miki: (mildly exhausted) Okay. I was getting tired of talking that quickly, anyway.

_She clears her throat and talks at a normal pace._

Miki: As I was saying, Yuki told me that she had trouble finding a spider for her biology report, so I shrank her to the size of one.

Lily: How long ago was this?

Miki: Oh, about 5 minutes. She's bound to have found one by now.

Lily: And how do you suppose she'll catch it at her current size?

Miki: Well, um…

_Cut to Yuki fleeing for her life from what appears to be a gigantic spider, screaming in terror all the way._

_Back to Lily and Miki outside the café._

Miki: She can always improvise.

Lily: (sarcastically) Yeah, right. And I suppose you'll shrink me too?

Miki: You know, that's actually a good idea.

Lily: (alarmed) What? No, wait a minute. Don't do it; that is a terrible i—

_Miki points her finger at Lily and fires a strange beam from it, causing Lily to shrink dramatically._

Lily: —dea!

_Lily clutches her head and screams in frustration, but Miki is unable to hear her._

Miki: So, you think you can find her now, Lily?

_She suddenly realizes that she can't see or hear Lily anywhere, so she starts looking around._

Miki: Lily? Where are you?

_She shrugs her shoulders, pints her finger at herself, and fires, causing herself to shrink dramatically. Once she reaches Lily's size, she staggers with amusement._

Miki: (delighted) Whoa! What a ride! [gathering her bearings] So, Lily, now that we're tiny, finding Yuki should take no time at all. What do you say?

Lily: (angrily) Damn it, Miki!


	77. Honey, I Shrunk the Kid: Part 3

Honey, I Shrunk the Kid: Part 3

_Lily and Miki, both drastically miniaturized, are walking together through gigantic blades of grass, looking for Yuki._

Miki: Yuki! Yuuuuuuki!

Lily: (grumbling to herself) That stupid robot's going to get us all killed if she keeps this up.

Miki: (rapidly) Girl who looks and sounds like a baby panda says what? (normally) Huh, that usually works.

Lily: What kind of garbage for logic is that? Yuki doesn't look or sound anything like a baby panda.

_Suddenly, Lily turns her attention to a faint sound in the distance._

Lily: Wait. Do you hear that?

Miki: What is it? All I hear is you saying "Wait. Do you hear that?"

_As Miki keeps talking, she doesn't notice Lily walking off in the direction of the sound._

Miki: I mean "that" could refer to just about anything. The birds chirping overhead, the grass rustling all around us, the giant lawnmower about to cut us to ribbons—

_She suddenly realizes what's wrong with what she just said and turns her attention to the sound of what appears to be a colossal lawnmower headed straight towards her._

Miki: (surprised and alarmed) GIANT LAWNMOWER!

_She immediately takes off and flies away from the lawnmower as fast as she can, meanwhile searching for Lily. After a while of flying, realizing that she can't outrun the lawnmower, she turns away from its path and finds Lily standing in an already cut area of the grass. Yuki is nearby, sitting atop what appears to be a gigantic spider._

Miki: Oh, there you are. And I see you made a new friend, Yuki.

Yuki: Not exactly, Miki-san. I think this spider thinks I'm one of its children.

Miki: …What?

Yuki: Yeah. I learned an awful lot about spiders, thanks to you. (somewhat uneasily) Although I think I might've learned a little more than I want to know…

Lily: Miki, considering everything that's happened over the past few days, I've only got one thing to say to you.

Miki: What's that?

Lily: (enraged) BITCH SLAP!

Miki: (alarmed) OH SNAP!

_Lily clouts Miki over the head with a vicious slap, sending her sliding along the ground, moaning in pain._


	78. Beauty on Ice

Beauty on Ice

_Gakupo and Luka sit across from each other at a small dinner table atop Tokyo Tower. Luka, having hardly touched her food, still toys with it. Gakupo, roughly halfway done with his, notices Luka's dull expression and starts growing concerned._

Gakupo: Uh, Luka?

Luka: (indifferently) Hmm?

Gakupo: You've hardly even touched your dinner, much less eaten anything since we got here. What's wrong?

Luka: (dully) Oh, nothing. Keep going. I'm fine.

_Gakupo prepares to resume eating but stops himself and stays focused on Luka._

Gakupo: Come on. You can tell me.

_Luka pauses for a moment, looks up at Gakupo, and sets her fork aside._

Luka: Okay. You got me, Gakupo. It's about what happened the other day at the park.

Gakupo: You mean where you—?

Luka: Don't say it.

Gakupo: Okay, okay, I won't say it.

Luka: [sigh] Anyway, there's a good reason why I acted the way I did back there. When I was 6, my grandfather took me with him on his fishing boat. He told me not to lean over the edge, but I guess I didn't listen, because soon after, I fell headlong into the sea.

Gakupo: (shocked) Oh, my god…

Luka: It gets worse; he just stood in his boat and watched me drown and freeze. Only thanks to my being able to grab one of his fishing lines and pull myself back aboard that I'm still alive today. I've been scared of disobeying him ever since…

_Gakupo gets up from his seat, walks to Luka, and kneels beside her._

Gakupo: (visibly disheartened) I'm so sorry for your loss.

_He gently rests his arm on Luka's shoulders, prompting Luka to look at him with a faint smile on her face._

Luka: Someone has to be.

_A waiter walks in on Gakupo and Luka, prompting them to look up at him._

Waiter: Uh, excuse me. Am I interrupting something, or can I bring you the check?

_Gakupo and Luka look at each other awkwardly, then at the waiter, then at each other again._


	79. Morning Drag

Morning Drag

_Meiko, half asleep in her bedroom of the Vocaloid's suite, lazily sits upright in her bed. Miku stands in the doorway._

Meiko: Blaaargh…ngh…

Miku: Ah, Meiko-san, you're awake.

_Meiko turns her head in Miku's direction and stares at her with half-open eyes._

Meiko: Oh, it's you, Miku. What time is it?

Miku: 3:02 PM. Why do you ask?

_Meiko suddenly widens her eyes in alarm, leaps out of her bed, darts to her closet, and starts hurriedly inspecting her clothes. Miku politely steps out of the doorway and closes the door. She then turns to Kaito, who walks in with a flyer in his hand._

Kaito: Oh, hi, Miku. What's going on?

Miku: I don't know, Kaito-san. I told Meiko-san the time and she—

_Meiko yanks open the door of her bedroom, races out, accidentally clotheslines Miku, and rockets out the door of the suite. Kaito watches the spectacle with a shocked look on his face._

Miku: (in pain) …did exactly that…

Kaito: Oh, right. I forgot. Meiko has to host auditions for some new singers today.

_Miku staggers to her feet with her hand covering her face in pain._

Miku: Auditions?

Kaito: Yeah. Apparently, Project Vocaloid's popularity has swelled so much by now that it's spilled over into other countries. Supposedly, people from all over the world want to join the project.

Miku: You don't say. Do you think anyone has a chance of joining us?

_Cut to a long line of people standing outside the sound lot of Crypton Studios. Meiko runs hurriedly to her desk before the line, almost slipping on a banana peel along the way._

_Back to the Vocaloid's suite._

Kaito: Absolutely. This residence building has only housed the…uh…let's see… [counts on his fingers]…twelve of us. (suddenly realizing something odd) Wait. I wonder why I haven't seen Miki, Lily, and Yuki in a while…

_Cut to Lily, Miki, and Yuki riding what appears to be a gigantic spider up a table leg._

Lily: (enraged) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE US BACK?


	80. Awaken the Children of the Earth

Awaken the Children of the Earth

_Meiko, Sakura, and Kiyoteru sit at an audition desk, watching many singers try out as new Vocaloids. After many auditions, the last singer to try out is SeeU from Korea, singing "Poem of a Thousand Years" and dancing elaborately to the music._

SeeU: (singing) One more year. Awake, dear spring dawn.  
One more year. Come forth, dear spring dawn.  
One more year. Breathe in, dear spring dawn.  
One more year. Flow forth, dear spring dawn.

I awaken to the call.  
I awaken to the call.  
I awaken to the call.  
I awaken to the call.  
I awaken to the call.

_Meiko sits with her eyes wide and her jaw hanging in awe as SeeU collapses in exhaustion. Kiyoteru calmly takes notes. Sakura gets up from her chair and walks to SeeU to see if she's okay._

Sakura: Are you okay?

SeeU: (breathless) Yeah. Just tired. That's all.

Sakura: You really put a lot of work into that song, didn't you?

SeeU: You could tell?

Sakura: Uh huh.

_At that moment, a strange aura appears at an empty table nearby, and seconds later, Miki, Yuki, and Lily appear at their normal sizes. Kiyoteru looks casually in their direction._

Kiyoteru: Oh, so that's why you've been missing these past few days, Yuki.

_Yuki gets on her feet and starts bowing apologetically to Kiyoteru._

Yuki: I'm sorry, Hiyama-sensei! I'm so sorry!

Kiyoteru: No, it's fine. The school's been closed for renovations since you disappeared. It'll open again within a few days. In the meantime, how's your report on spiders coming?

_Yuki stops bowing and stands upright._

Yuki: Well, I think I learned more about spiders than I thought I would, but I haven't written it yet.

Kiyoteru: It's due in a week, so you have time.

_Kiyoteru turns back to Sakura and SeeU, who are now both on their feet._

Kiyoteru: As for you, welcome to Crypton Studios, SeeU.

_Meiko snaps out of her apparent stupor._

Meiko: Oh, uh, yeah. What he said.

SeeU: (overjoyed) I stopped it!1

_Sakura, a bit confused, looks awkwardly at SeeU._

SeeU: Oh, sorry. My Japanese isn't so great.

Sakura: That's okay. I never was very good at foreign languages either.

Miki: Oh, that reminds me. What happened to that spider, anyway?

Lily: What spi…?

_Lily checks her shoe to see a black smear on it._

Lily: …der…?

_She sheepishly looks back at Miki and Yuki, who look back at her in awkward shock._

1 She just tried to say "遣りました！" meaning "I did it!" but replaced り with み by mistake.


	81. Where the Cherry Blossoms Fly

Where the Cherry Blossoms Fly

_Miku and Sakura are lying together beneath the shade of a cherry tree. As they gaze into the sky, blossom petals gently flutter all around them. After a while, Sakura turns her eyes to Miku._

Sakura: Say, Miku.

Miku: Hmm?

Sakura: It just occurred to me.

Miku: What?

Sakura: I've only had this body for a week or so.

Miku: I see. It seems like just yesterday when we first met.

Sakura: Well, technically, we were together before you were born, but I get the picture. Anyway, given that you've been alive for at least 16 years more than me, and I got this body from a strand of your hair…

_Miku sits up where she is and intently looks at Sakura, who is partly closing her eyes in moroseness._

Sakura: I mean…we were supposed to be twins, but I never got to live with you until now. And now that I'm here, I feel really bad about myself.

Miku: Why?

Sakura: Because I'm just a copy of you…nothing but your shadow…

_Miku turns her body to Sakura and kneels beside her._

Miku: That's not true.

Sakura: Huh?

Miku: Listen, Sakura. I know that you still feel upset that you were stillborn, but no matter how many years we were born apart…how do I say this?

_Sakura sits up to face Miku as she tries to find the right words to say._

Miku: You're nobody's copy, Sakura; you're Sakura Hatsune, my identical twin sister. You said so yourself when we first met, and nothing has changed that.

Sakura: Miku…

_Miku and Sakura move in to tenderly embrace each other with tears in their eyes, when suddenly, Neru and Teto zoom in on a bicycle and crash into the tree. The Hatsune twins snap out of their shared trance and look in their direction._

Neru: I knew this was a bad idea, Teto!

Teto: Then why did you bother letting me ride with you?

Neru: Because you wouldn't shut up about it!

_Neru and Teto notice Miku and Sakura and hop to their feet._

Teto: Oh, Miku, Sakura, what a coincidence.

Neru: Wait a second. Shouldn't you be…I don't know…in brutal agony?

Teto: Oh. Right.

_Teto collapses on the ground, rolling from side to side and bawling in mock despair and pain. Neru facepalms at Teto's bad acting while Miku smiles in amusement and Sakura giggles uneasily._


	82. ありがとう

ありがとう

_Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, GUMI, Miki, Yuki, Kiyoteru, Lily, Iroha, Piko, Mew, SeeU, Rion, CUL, Yukari, Ring, Lui, Aoki, and IA stand together on a stage, ready to perform the last song of the evening. They seem focused on each other, as if to drown out the din of the cheering crowd._1

Rin: {We've come this far, Len. It's too late to back out now.}

Len: {Heh. Who said I was going to back out?}

GUMI: {Black Rock Shooter, if you're watching this…I want to say thank you…not exactly sure what for, but…yeah.}

Miki: {Hey, GUMI, is my head still on straight?}

Aoki: {…Awkward…}

Yuki: {Say, is that my mother and father in the audience?}

Kiyoteru: {I'm sure that is.}

Ring: {Uh, Lui…}

Lui: {Fear not, Ring. We are almost finished.}

Gakupo: {If we don't make it…}

Luka: {We'll make it.} [quickly kisses Gakupo on the cheek] {Trust me.}

Gakupo: {Oho, yes!}

CUL: {And here, I thought this would be difficult.}

Rion: {Okay. Stay calm, Rion. No pressure. This is just the end of the biggest performance of your—PRESSURE! Pressure! Lots of pressure!}

CUL: {I…take that back…}

Piko: {Why aren't you wearing your mittens, Iroha?}

Iroha: {It's…um…more comfortable this way. Uh…yes. More comfortable…}

Kaito: {Hey, Meiko. Promise me one thing-}

Meiko: {Hold it right there, Kaito. Look. Every time two people promise each other something before a climactic event, something bad happens. Let's just get through this last song and leave it at that. Got it?}

Kaito: {…}

Yukari: {Not bad for an old schooler.}

Lily: {Old schooler? I've still got plenty of life left.}

IA: {Cut it out, you two.}

SeeU: {Ooh. This is so nerve-wracking.}

Mew: {Calm down. It'll be over very quickly.}

SeeU: {That's not what worries me.}

_On cue from Neru, Teto, Haku, and Sakura in the sound booth at the back of the audience, the final song starts playing._

Miku: {Neru…Teto…Haku…Sakura…all of you beside me…people of Japan, of Planet Earth…this is for you…for all of us…}

Rin and Len: (singing) I don't want to forget these thoughts that ring  
so clearly within my mind,

GUMI and Miki: (singing) And so, I'll break the norm, delete this preset,  
and start from scratch.

CUL and Rion: (singing) I plan to sing whatever song presents  
itself as a part of me.

Meiko and Kaito: (singing) I'll let it bear the words within my heart and  
propel them high into the sky.

Miku: (singing) So many words I want to say before you,  
So many things I cannot share without you.  
I want them all to link with one another,  
And make the echoes reach beyond horizons.

So many things I want to say before you,  
This song that I will happily share with you.  
I want them all to circle in a mighty loop,  
So that we all connect with all the world beyond!

Ring and Lui: (singing) This light I see illuminates my mind  
with traces of your voice.

Piko and Iroha: (singing) I feel it tumbling into my hands  
and out from my palms.

Yukari and Lily: (singing) And then, I see my fingers dance along  
with this newfound rhythm.

Gakupo and Luka: (singing) I set the words I wrought unto this beat,  
and propel them to the heavens on high.

Miku: (singing) So many words I want to say before you,  
So many things I want to reach out for you.  
I want them all to link, one past another,  
And come to you, no matter where you may be.

So many words I want to say before you,  
This song that I just cannot share without you.  
They link us all together in a simple loop,  
So that we all connect with all the world beyond!

Aoki and IA: (singing) So, every day, I dance, but through it all,  
I find that nothing 'round me ever changes.

Yuki and Kiyoteru: (singing) Then, I realize that every day  
is a gift for all of us to share.

Mew and SeeU: (singing) And when I find this out, my world begins to shake,  
with new sensations I can't fathom.

Everyone: (singing) Tell me everything!  
I want to know about your world!

So many words I want to say before you,  
So many things I want to reach out to you.  
I pray that they will link, one past another,  
And come to you, no matter where you are now.

So many words I want to say before you,  
This song that I now willingly share with you.  
They link us all together in a mighty loop,  
So that we all connect with all the world beyond!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

_The music dies down to thunderous applause followed by a "Vocaloid!" chant from the crowd. As the Vocaloids on stage bow reverently, the curtain slowly falls until it completely envelops the stage. In the sound booth, Teto raises a half-eaten baguette as if proposing a toast._

Teto: To Project Vocaloid, everybody!

Neru: (dully but thinly amused) You do realize that you need some sort of drink to propose a toast, right?

Teto: You mean like her? [points to Haku, who is half asleep in her chair with a half-finished bottle2 of sake in her hand]

Haku: (dazed) Ngh, mineral water…huh?

Sakura: The idea's the same, isn't it?

Neru: …Oh, all right. But we don't have anything to toast with you.

Teto: I'm sure you can bring something up.

_Neru and Sakura fish around their persons for anything to match Teto's baguette. Eventually, Neru draws her cell phone and Sakura a cherry._

Teto: That'll work. Now, where was I? Oh, right. To Project Vocaloid!

_Haku, seeing Teto prepare a toast, lazily raises her bottle as everyone else raises their items._

Neru, Teto, Haku, and Sakura: Kanpai!3

_Suddenly, Haku fumbles her bottle of sake and accidentally spills it on the control panel, causing a massive blackout on the stage. The startled audience screams briefly, and the Vocaloids behind the curtain frantically try to figure out what just happened._

1 On March 9, 2012, the makers of Project Diva staged a digital concert at Tokyo Dome City Hall with The39's. This chapter is loosely based on that event.

2 The bottle is labeled "Snow Flower".

3 This word is frequently used when making a toast in Japan. I left it in Japanese to preserve cultural relevance.


	83. Jovial the Times Can Be

Jovial the Times Can Be

_Len and Lui kneel across from each other on the floor of the main room of the Vocaloid's suite, staring tensely at each other. A plastic tub and a rolled up newspaper lie beside them. Suddenly, they raise their right fists in the air, and with a loud yell, drop them level with each other to reveal rock and paper respectively. Frantically, Len grabs for the plastic tub, but Lui snatches the newspaper and strikes his head first._

Lui: That makes… (uncertain) eleven victories in a row for me…?

Len: (sigh) I don't know. [puts down the plastic tub] I lost count a while ago.

_Len stands up and stretches his arm above his head._

Len: Well?

_Lui blinks in wonderment regarding Len's expectations._

Lui: Well, what?

Len: Shouldn't you be challenging me to another round?

Lui: I do not wish to face you in rock-paper-scissors anymore, Len; I fear that I will only beat you again.

Len: …What?

Lui: Exactly.

_Lui stands up to meet Len's eyes and stares into them vacantly. He then tracks his eyes to Len's hair._

Len: Is something wrong?

Lui: Worry not, Len. I was merely musing about you and your sister.

Len: You mean Rin?

Lui: Correct. A small number of people believe you two are—

Len: Involved in incest. I know. We've both already told people that the whole thing was just an act1.

Lui: You must have not been thinking clearly when you wrote that song.

Len: Well, something like that.

_Fade to white, then from white to Meiko, Kaito, Rin, and Len sitting at a kotatsu._

Meiko: So, any ideas for our next song?

_Kaito unconsciously grabs a cup near Meiko's position and drinks it quickly. He then slams the cup on the table, visibly disoriented. Len looks on in odd silence as Kaito talks._

Kaito: Hmm… (woozy) Oh, wait. Give me a minute…

_Kaito turns to Rin and Len and strokes his hand across Rin's face. Len cringes uncomfortably at the look in his eyes._

Kaito: (woozy) Ever notice how…prettyful you look under this ligptht?

Len: (concerned) Uh, Kaito? What's gotten into… [notices the empty cup and remembers that Meiko poured something into it earlier] you…?

Kaito: (woozy, barely able to sit straight) Hey, Meiko…I got it. Tell Gakupo I said hey…no, wait. [flops beside Len] Tell him I said Rin and Len should…do a song…where they're a-gouple…television gum…

Rin: Hey. That sounds like a great idea!

_Meiko watches the spectacle, dumbfounded as to how Kaito could possibly get drunk so easily._

_Fade to white, then from white to Len and Lui in the Vocaloids' suite._

Lui: That does not seem physically possible.

Len: That's exactly what Meiko said.

_Cut to Meiko, Rin, and Len sitting at a kotatsu while Kaito rolls around on the floor, babbling and giggling in a drunken stupor._

Meiko: This doesn't seem physically possible…

1 He's most likely referring to such songs as "Rin RIn Signal", in which Rin and Len are depicted as a couple.


	84. Beneath a Thousand Suns

Beneath a Thousand Suns

_Gakupo and Luka are together, beneath a tree in the middle of a park on a sweltering afternoon. Gakupo lies on his back with his arms splayed to the side while Luka sits against the trunk and futilely fans herself with her open hand._

Gakupo: (in exaggerated discomfort) Hot…!

Luka: Ugh. Tell me about it.

_Gakupo shuffles closer to the tree, his head coming very close to Luka's lap. Luka, noticing this, stops fanning herself and looks down at Gakupo._

Luka: If you're planning what I think you're planning, you do know that it'll only make us both hotter, right?

Gakupo: …Yeah, you're right. Why don't we go someplace else?

Luka: My thoughts exactly.

_Clock wipe to Gakupo and Luka sitting face to face in a café. Gakupo is leaning back in his chair, visibly joyous from the sensation of the air conditioning._

Gakupo: (elated) Ah, that's so much better.

_He sits upright in his chair and looks back at Luka, who is blandly swirling her teacup in front of her nose. Seeing this, he leans forward, placing his hands atop the table. Luka stops swirling her teacup, sets it down, and looks back at him. After a brief pause, she rolls her eyes at herself with an impish but half-forced smile._

Luka: Oh, okay. It was bound to happen sooner or later, right?

Gakupo: Of course, Luka.

_Gakupo and Luka stand up together, scoot to the side of the table, gently wrap their arms around each other, and pull each other in close. But just before they can kiss, GUMI walks in on them with the bill in her hand._

GUMI: (as if clearing her throat) Ahem.

_Gakupo and Luka snap out of their shared trance , break away from each other, and turn their attention to GUMI, who is waving the bill like a fan._

GUMI: You need to pay the bill first.

Gakupo: Oh, right.

_Gakupo fishes around in his robe for his wallet but is unable to find it. Embarrassed at this sight, Luka dismounts her wallet from her belt, takes the bill in her hands, and pays GUMI the bill and tip._

GUMI: Ah, thanks.

Luka: Thank _you_, GUMI.

_GUMI starts to leave the area but then stops herself as if remembering something important and turns back to Gakupo and Luka._

GUMI: Oh, right. Now, you can kiss.

_As GUMI leaves, Gakupo and Luka turn their attention back to each other and after both shrugging their shoulders, kiss each other warmly._


End file.
